Tag drive

We spent the night in New Jersey at the airport hotel, and fell asleep somewhere around 4am after a silly sprint around the city returning the rental car, finding the hotel, moving our luggage and finding a place to pull out some cash. To make matters more interesting, New York was then experiencing record high temperatures and it was 104 degrees that day, with a projected new high in tomorrow. To our endless surprise, everyone we met in Jersey was helpful, friendly and wonderful. We expected the opposite for some reason.

In the morning, we grabbed a sandwich from a small shop, took the free shuttle from the hotel to the airport, and then took the airport tram to the Amtrak-operated line that connects Newark with New York. What follows is no exaggeration, and my firm loyalty and love for Amtrak was put to the test that day.

We boarded the Amtrak train and it left some ten minutes late. “ok, not bad.” But, with our 70lb backpacks, a ukulele, my camera bag and mike’s laptop case it was a very long ten minutes. We boarded, tossed our bags at our feet and watched sweat roll over our eyeballs. We didn’t know that could happen. The record 105 degree temperature was made hotter by high humidity and a fully booked train. We made it one stop down the platform before the train broke down. A cynical and wholly unhelpful man came on the intercom and explained that we should all get off. We did so, which broke Mike’s bag in the process. So, there we were, running short on time, short on energy and extremely dehydrated. We stood on the platform with our bags for a few minutes, no easy feat I’ll remind you, before the same man came on the intercom and asked us to go to another track. We went underground, down the steep steps crowded with grumpy New Yorkers, and up the steps on the other side. We stood there dripping sweat, looking like Angel Falls was pouring over us. Five minutes later, as I felt my tendons start to give, the announcer asked us all to go back to our original track. We went back down the stairs, back up the other side, and with angry city folk all around us we looked off into the distance truly exhausted. The train came some while after the bags started to slip off our shoulders from all the sweat. We nabbed a seat and gave sympathetic looks to the poor huddles who had to push past our giant bags to find a seat.

We arrived at Penn Station still alive, which was more than we had come to expect. It was easy to find the connecting subway we needed to reach Brooklyn, so we took the metro to the southeast. When we reached the final station we got out and asked the attendant how to reach the docks. She said it was a fool’s errand to walk in the heat, but when we insisted she pointed and we scampered outside. Heat really can hit you like a slap in the face, and this slap was so hot it felt like it was delivered with a recently-used frying pan. We strapped on our bags and set off…. In the wrong direction.

I’ll spare you the Brooklyn saga, but suffice to say we finally reached the cruise terminal by 2pm. A good two hours after our check-in time. We had missed lunch on board, and we were desperate to find some water. Nevertheless, we were in high spirits when we walked into our inside cabin and found a bottle of complementary champagne waiting for us. I’ll tell you one thing about going through a trial like the one from Jersey to Brooklyn by public transportation—when you get to the other side it sure is a beautiful thing. We drank some champagne, changed into clean, sweat-free clothing and rushed up on deck to survey the ship and say goodbye to the USA. When we were up on deck with our drinks waving, it looked like Lady Liberty waved back.

On the 3rd of July, we booked a boat leaving from New York on the 6th of July. Since I don’t fly (and most un-winged mammals shouldn’t) we decided to rent a car and drive from Chicago to New York on the 5th. It all seems very logical and organized, but behind the scenes it was a bit of a chaotic mess. We decided on taking the Queen Mary II Cruise in what can only be described as a truly epic moment. We had been debating the cost, the time it would take, and the cheaper option of flying. Finally, at about 9pm on the 3rd I was sitting outside on the deck with a gin and tonic (how all good ideas start, really) when the sun began to set (yup, it sets that late in the summer near Chicago) and I had the most beautiful feeling of calm and happiness wash over me. It really is the simple things. But then I decided to make it much more complicated. Mike came outside and I turned around in my chair and said “what have we been worrying about? Let’s take the %@*#)( cruise!” I laid out my argument, which was a simple ATC-type argument that went along the lines of enjoying the moment, carpe diem, and the fact that we would make more money once we got done with the rally and found jobs overseas somewhere. Really, the only question left was why wouldn’t we take a cruise across the Atlantic. In a big wave of excitement and principle we dashed around the house getting the required paperwork to book the cruise.

The next day was the 4th of July. For our non American readers, this is the American Independence Day. To celebrate, Americans usually purchase ridiculous amounts of alcohol, beer and wine and then purchase a trunk-load of fireworks. Seems intelligent, I know. We incorporate a BBQ into the mix and gather all our family and friends to one yard for the food, drink and explosions. Since my family was in Washington I missed out on the legendary bonfire, which was a disappointment. But Mike and I went to a family friend’s dinner for a fancy picnic on the patio, and then to a friend’s house to watch her inbred neighbors light fireworks directly above their house. It was a wonderful, all-American evening. And in true 4th of July style we got home exceptionally late, smelling of sulfur and Budweiser.

The following morning we awoke at 5am and packed, registered our passports for the cruise, and then picked up the rental car. After a teary good-bye to Mike’s family, we set out in our tiny car with the aim of reaching New York city by nightfall. Anyone who has driven across country knows the sinking feeling in your gut when you come to the first toll booth in the Midwest. I wrote an entire blog about the toll processes along the route before reaching Jersey. Despite that, the roads were nice, direct and well kept. It was only nearing Jersey that traffic picked up even the slightest bit. We sang along with the radio, had debated with NPR, played license plate bingo and even did some typing on the laptop. The 14 hour drive went by quickly, and although the toll situation was frustrating, at least they ended when we hit Pennsylvania.

Arriving in New Jersey after such a long trek was a great reward. Everyone we met was friendly and we easily found our way around- despite the turnpikes. We found our airport hotel (across from a prison) and the rest will have to wait for part two of the mad dash installment.

Not many people make backtracks like we do! To make my point, our trips inside America in the last several months

Route map?

have been hectic, repetitive and somewhat ridiculous. Just look at that map! We landed on the east coast, managed to make it to Illinois, only to jump to New Hampshire and Washington, back to Illinois, then to Texas, back to Illinois, then to Washington again. make any sense to you? Yeah, us neither. And we did it ALL by land only, no air travel. If you ever want to hear our opinion of Amtrak or the Great American Road System, pleas ask. We’d be happy to monologue for you, and since Mike plays the guitar, he can even do it to song, if that’s your preference.

I have to confess, a huge portion of America has been neglected in our ridiculous travels, and that area is boring– which is why we didn’t go there (California, Oregon and parts of Nevada exempted). I’d love to see the Grand Canyon, but they located it in the middle of nowhere, so until they get some interesting side attractions out there we’ll be sticking to the more densely populated areas.

One of the amazing things about ground travel in the USA is the gas prices. It can be high in, say, Seattle and low in DC. Explain this to me, someone please? Why do the people along the coasts, where oil is delivered, often pay more?  Isn’t Canada our biggest oil supplier? Why do northern states pay more than southern ones? Check out this map of gas prices in the USA– see a trend?

Another thing that surprised me was the tax rates in various states we traveled through. Texas, for example, had an 8% sales tax rate while Arkansas was 9% and Missouri was 7%.  Property taxes is not taxed, but everything else is. Washington has a $9.00 minimum wage while Wyoming gets a mere $5.15 an hour. Some states don’t even have minimum wage standards. Emma Goldman would be sad.

Nevertheless, the trip was amazing. I’ve never seen so many MAC trucks! Ya know, America, a railway system might solve the over-congestion of the roads. I’ve also never seen so many fast food restaurants. You see a lot of interesting folks in sweat pants at the McDonald’s, or rummaging in the trash at various rest stops. We even saw one man get out of the driver’s seat of his RAM truck and finish his beer then toss it in the trash before peeing in the grass NEXT TO the bathrooms. Also, at any given interstate gas station you’ll find a plethora of items for sale that no one would, or has ever bought. Like neon pink mud flaps with a naked woman outline on them. And the gas station check-out guy is always eating or spitting sunflower seeds while you try to check out.

So, the cross-country ridiculousness went well, and we’re in Washington now. believe it or not we’ll be heading back to the Midwest soon enough– enhancing the backtrack.