Tag Michigan

If you’ve never been to the Upper Peninsula —GOOD! Don’t go. It isn’t for you. It’s a shit place with nothing to do and nothing to see. Stay away, for your own good.

If you have been, then you know it’s heaven on Earth, and not to tell anyone about it. The first rule of the real diehards of the UP, the so called Yoopers, is not talk about the UP with the trolls. Trolls, if you don’t know, are everyone who live under the Mackinac Bridge, which separates the Upper Peninsula from the rest of Michigan. And the rest of the planet, really. If you do make it past the bridge, stop at the Yooper Tourist Trap. It’s well worth a visit.

Michigan’s Upper Peninsula is one of the most stunning natural places on this little blue ball. The fresh water lakes, the untouched forests, the rivers and waterfalls tucked away from the swarms of tourists. It’s a dreamland for the outdoor enthusiast.

Biblical Plagues in Rapid Secession

There are downsides to the UP, and they aren’t for the weak of heart or faint of knee. ‘Round about spring the mosquitos hatch. These nasty buggers can hatch right out of the snow. I’ve seen them crawling around on the ice looking for blood. There aren’t a few mosquitos here or there, but swarms of them so thick you can’t go outdoors.

One time my dad and I decided to hike to a nearby lake through the woods. I had head to two coverage and a hat. I had on so much mosquito repellant that I probably gave myself brain damage. My boots covered my feet, and I had gloves on my hands. So, we set out in mosquito season. ‘Round about the time we reached the other lake I couldn’t take it. I snapped an evergreen bough off of a nearby tree and started whacking the air around me. I saw the lake, muttered, “yeah, it’s great. Let’s get out of here.” And we dashed home, swinging pine boughs at the mosquitos. My neck, face, ears, wrists and ankles were covered in bites.

When the mosquitos die down a bit, the mayflies hatch. These congest the surface of everything from screen doors to picnic tables to windshields to boats. And if you were planning on fishing during bass season you can forget about it, because the fish are full to the gills with mayflies. They don’t want your stupid lure, they want a La-Z-Boy and a multi series Netflix show to binge while they chill in their nests and ignore you.

After the mayflies come the bitting flies. These assholes will nip and gouge at any exposed skin on your body, including your eyelids. But, if you think you’ll just wear long sleeves and pants to fool them you can forget about it, because they can bite through steel. Also, it’s 90 degrees outside, Celsius, and you’re damp and covered in sweat, which only attracts more flies.

And then there is about a week of nothing trying to bite or kill you. In that week, you can enjoy the fall foliage, stroll around in the amber-tinted forests or take in stunning vistas of Lake Superior.

After the Plagues Come the Snow

But right as you start thinking, “Hey, we should get a cabin up here,” the snow hits. And it hits hard. In the UP there is snow from about early October to round about May. And if you haven’t heard the very technical term “round-about” before, you haven’t studied the weather or insect patterns of the UP because that’s as good as it gets. ‘Round about is a technical term in the UP.

Finally, the fishing report for the UP: Many of the folks who come up, the trolls, they come up for the fishing and hunting. Hunting season is so-so, but you might as well stay downstate and save yourself the $5 Mackinac Bridge fare. Lodging costs more in the UP for hunters, too. Stay away, stop killing all of our wildlife, ya jerks. Fishing, on the other hand, is also horrible in the UP. So many people escaped to Michigan after the tourism board launched their Pure Michigan campaign that pretty much all of the fish in the great lakes are now in troll bellies down south. Fishing reports for the past five years have been abyssal. 

‘Round about now, you’re probably asking why I’m even writing about the UP. The answer is that this is a warning, a morality tale of sorts. Stay out of the UP so the fish come back, and the mosquito populations die down. Stay away, ya damn trolls! Back, back! Try somewhere else in America.

Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan are the land of plenty. Plenty of space. Plenty of weight on the locals. Plenty of cheese on the french fries. Plenty of everything. We started in Minneapolis, home of the Mall of America, the largest mall in the country. You can walk for hours and not see everything. I know. We tried. There is a theme park in the center, a movie theatre, spas, hundreds of shops and dozens of restaurants. Anything you want you can find at Mall of America, except your car. You’re going to lose your car. My god, where is the car?

Minnesota: Lakes, Malls and Snow

Minneapolis has a great free zoo in Como Park, out on the east side. Check out the Como Park Conservatory. You can donate at the entrance if you want to, or don’t. I don’t care. But we always tried to drop a few bucks in the pot because damn do they do a good job with the animals at Como. They have a free-range sloth in the greenhouse area, and there are meerkats all over the place right inside the entrance. They have larger animals, too, but for me the greenhouse always won out. Such a lovely spot to come, especially in the colder months. Which, in Minnesota, are about 10 months of the year.

If you’re anybody at all worth knowing than you live on Lake Minnetonka. We don’t, because we’re not worth knowing, but we have friends on the lake. Experiencing how the elite live is a joy and a curse. It’s such a delight to experience, but then you have to zip up your suitcase and go back to the cheap motels with holes in the bedding and curly hairs in the sheets. You can get a taste of the rich life by strolling around the quaint villages that ring the lake, or driving down the mansion-lined streets. There are several open access points to the lake. You can even check out Prince’s house, which is nearby.

Wisconsin: Land of Cheese and Roller Coasters

Wisconsin is famous for cheese, but also for the Wisconsin Dells, which house a bunch of theme parks. Here you can ride all manner of rollercoaster or spinning tea cup. There are decent resorts and it’s near enough to an airport that you don’t have a long drive after landing. The prices are reasonable in the off season, and a bit extreme in summer. If you ever wanted to learn an Eastern European language, many of the staff at the Wisconsin Dells resorts and theme parks are there on summer work visas. 

We didn’t spend much time in Wisconsin because it wasn’t theme park season. Instead, we sort of transited the state, and our hearts thank us for avoiding the artery-blocking cuisine.

Michigan: The Mosquito’s Playground

Michigan is for nature lovers. If you don’t love nature, don’t bother congesting the freeways and airports, it won’t be the place for you. The best thing to do in Michigan is get outside. Detroit has a lot to offer, as does Ann Arbor, but your best bet is to get into the woods, enjoy the lakes, go on an ATV ride or rent snowmobiles if it’s winter. Just get yourself geared up and get outside.

With the launch of the Pure Michigan tourism campaign, RV, ATV, boat and snowmobile enthusiasts from around America started to explore the bounty of Michigan. This was great for the economy but bad for those of us who were already outside enjoying the peace and quiet. Nothing says hike faster than having a group of loud tourists behind you in the peaceful forrest.

I have so much more to say about Michigan. I’ll do a whole post on the Upper Peninsula soon, so stay tuned.

We have done a lot of US road tripping, check out more on the Road Trip page.

This has been an interesting year of short excursions around America, several road trips and a few flights across country. We’ve traveled across numerous states and have seen a great deal of geographic variance as well as changes in people, food, music and culture. This really is a big country and sometimes, especially when it comes to places like Texas and the U.P, little alcoves of America seem like their own little countries. Here is a roundup of some of the places we visited this year.

Travel to the Olympic National Forest in Washington, USA

I traveled out to Washington for a wedding and was overjoyed that it was an outdoor affair full of swords, ferns and coffee. It was a wedding that fit the beautiful surroundings of Port Angeles. The redwoods were tall, thick and stunning, and the lakes raging like the rest of the wilderness around the national forest. Coffee, the main staple of the Seattle-dweller, is strong and drunk black. The people are so in love with the outdoors that they carry backpacks instead of purses, and wear boots instead of heels. That’s a win in my book. Overall rating of the scenery, people and food: 9 out of 10.

Travel to Ocean City, Maryland, USA

Visiting Ocean City in winter is an odd adventure. It is like visiting a carnival before it opens. The clowns and bearded ladies are still there, but they aren’t yet smiling for the crowds. I walked along the beach and was the only person out there being pelleted by the whipping wind and freezing waves. Domesticated squirrels would run up to my legs and beg for food while disenchanted locals would push them out of their way with booted toes. If you ever wondered, restaurants at the beach are overpriced year round– not just in the summer.

Travel to Beaufort, North Carolina, USA

We spent a week at the beach and rented a small house on the shore within a stone’s throw of public access. It was a glorious blur of sand, sunscreen, and bright colors. We go every year and every year it gets busier and the crowds get thicker and the seagulls get more aggressive. It’s a beautiful spot, but since it is getting so crowded I imagine it won’t be beautiful for long!

Road Trip to Justin, Texas, USA

I drove myself, my mother and my toddler to Justin, Texas from North Carolina. We stopped in Nashville, Texarkana and finally Justin. If you have never driven in Texas be forewarned the road signals hang horizontally across wires and (surprise) I got a ticket for running a red light when I thought the yellow was one of those flashing warning things. Anyways, live and learn. I also learned that Texas had a boatload of excess money that they use to put in TONS of spaghetti-roads and then decorate them with the lone star. No, I didn’t end up buying any boots– although  I did look! Also, if you ever fly out of Dallas– be warned that it is the most chaotic airport this side of Heathrow. I had to pay just to drop my mother off at her terminal! Not a fan of the airport, but I’m quite a fan of the rest of Texas that I saw.

Travel to Marquette, Michigan, USA

We come up to the U.P every once in a while to visit family and this year we were fortunate enough to come up to the U.P twice, once in the summer and once in the frozen winter. Winter is my favorite season and the U.P is about the best place to experience it. ATVing in the snow, snowshoeing, ice fishing, sledding, and all kinds of other frozen festivities await you in Marquette and the surrounding towns. Hey, Jeff Daniels spends his time up here, so it can’t be all bad!

Travel to Beech Mountain, North Carolina, USA

Since we live relatively close to the mountains of North Carolina, we get to make a few trips a year up to Beech Mountain, near Boone. It’s a delightful small down with all the amenities nearby of a major metropolis. On top of Beech Mountain is the highest bar on the east coast, I hear tell. Yes, we’ve been there. You have to ski your way down after a few very strong, locally brewed drafts. Well, you don’t have to but it’s way more fun!

Travel to Washington, District of Columbia, USA

We went to Washington D.C a few times in 2014, mostly because we have friends in the city. It’s an amazing capital and truly befitting the country. All the major museums are free and it’s a delight to get to explore so much history for free– as it should be! There is always something fun going on. Last time up in DC I saw a group of people preaching the good word, loudly– almost violently, in China Town. At other times there are demonstrations near the White House. On one other trip I was fortunate enough to get to stay out in Leesburg, where we did a night time stroll of the town’s haunted sites (yes, it was Halloween!).

Happy 2015. May the year bring you more travel, more freedom to roam and a better appreciation of the wide, wide world!

Our road trip began in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Why does Michigan own the U.P? We don’t know. It borders Wisconsin- but they can’t have it, and it borders Canada- but they can’t have it. Alternatively it doesn’t touch Michigan at all and they had to construct a giant bridge to even get over to the U.P—but they can and do have it. Odd. I bet there is an interesting story there.

We drove along the length of the U.P heading east and stopped along Lake Michigan for fresh air and a wee leg stretch. Our tiny tot Gwen was eager to watch the waves and of course vomited profusely on herself when she was returned to her car seat.

From the U.P we drove to this magical connection bridge. In Michigan everyone who lives south of the bridge is called a “Troll,” while everyone who lives above the bridge is called a” Yooper.” Residents of both areas take an odd portion of pride in this. After crossing the bridge and paying the troll our $4.00 toll we found ourselves in surprisingly dull territory.

The scenery looked almost identical to the mind-numbing drabness that is the American Midwest. Dead fields, dead trees and a sprinkling of depressing farm houses facing mega highways and signs for fireworks and casions. The bridge into Canada from Michigan boasts one of the single most depressing views of a lake I’ve ever seen. Dozens of factories lined Lake St. Clare spewing foam, smoke and foul aromas into the air and sea. Not a good billboard for tourism to either area.

Entering Ontario was east. It’s always easier to get into Canada than out. Drivers in Canada must really fear the Mounties, because they don’t speed. It’s odd because I doubt a horse with a burly Canadian on it’s back could catch my car, especially the way I drive.

We learned that the Canadians are not the most creative town namers. We hit London, Paris, St. Thomas and Waterloo, and that’s just in the tiny peninsula of Ontario between Michigan and New York. And while I’m on the topic, Buffalo isn’t the most creative city name, either. Eh, Canada?

Some of the major highways in Canada close for construction at night. That means major detours for lost Americans whose GPS systems don’t have Canadian maps. Yup, that was us. We were detoured more than an hour out of the way, with ill-marked signs and of course following the world’s slowest truckers. Still, at least the detour wasn’t for a major accident, and that’s always a plus.

Niagra Falls is a unique city. It’s both the name of the falls and the city on the Canadian side, and it’s situated in a cozy and industrially convenient location. More on Niagra Falls later. For now, we leave you with this advice: Don’t travel in Canada at night. Who knows when the roads shut down for the evening.

If you’re following our road trip then you know we hit the U.P via Wisconsin from Rockford, Illinois. This after a long stint in Beijing. Beijing is home to twenty million. The U.P has less than a million in the whole massive area. Needless to say, agoraphobia set in as soon as we hit the dimly populated area. One nice comparison is that there are probably as many birch trees in the U.P as there are people in Beijing.

Having come from a massive city, we found the U.P to be a delight. The people are tough, and remind us of the characters in Northern Exposure. They tell stories that end in “eh” and involve bear hunting, being snowed in for months on end or else hilarious tales of drunken debauchery as they were snowed into the tavern for the night. A great sense of humor and thick skin are prerequisites to living in the U.P. But more than that you need to love the outdoors, because they creep in, and in the U.P there is no contest about which side would win- humanity or nature.

While in the U.P we baited bear, went fishing, hiked around waterfalls and up on the golden hills, and watched the leaves go from green to yellow to vibrant fire red.

See more of the epic photos of the leaves in transition on our photos page!

The American Midwest is a strange land. Daniel Tosh says middle America is for those who have given up on their dreams, and to some extent that’s what the scenery looks like. Lonely farm houses dot the highway, they face the road instead of their fields almost as if longing to jump on the road and escape the monotony of their farm life. Don’t get me wrong, living off the land and farming sounds like it could be amazing, but somehow in the Midwest they make it look draining and miserable. At least that’s how it looks from the window of a car.

We started our road trip from Chicago, having landed there from China in September of 2012. From Chicago we rented an SUV and burned fossil fuels to Rockford, IL. This town has, the residents told me, the highest per capita crime rate in Illinois. Nice claim to fame. A quick drive in the wrong neighborhood and I understood why. What was once a thriving industrial blue collar town has given way to massive unemployment as jobs were shipped overseas. Ingersoll was once based in Rockford, supplying thousands of jobs. They were bought by a Chinese company and moved abroad. Our last week in China we spotted an Ingersoll-Rand road paver. So Rockford went from a thriving industrial hub to a quasi wasteland of unemployment and quiet depression. Moving on.

We then drove through Wisconsin to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. But the scenery along the way bears mention. First, Wisconsin has some odd ideas about traffic diversions when roads are under construction. Narrowing a four lane to a one lane seems like a poor idea, Wisconsin. Just an observation. Also, your people are fat. Might want to take out the escalators and elevators and put scales at the bottom of the stairs as motivation. Just an idea, Wisconsin.

Michigan, you have some work to do as well. In 2008 the whole country kept a weary eye on Detroit wondering what would happen if the auto industry failed. Detroit no doubt suffered an unfair amount of the burden during the worst of the financial crisis. Luckily, we skipped this city and instead headed to the U.P. This undiscovered land is home to amazing beauty as well as hardy people. More on that later, Amy dear TC readers.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this short story about our arrival into Chicago from China. Upon landing in the US we were met with friendly smiles, helpful attendants and about the nicest car rental agent in the Midwest. This was a stark contrast to the rudeness in Beijing, and was a welcomed occurrence this side of the Pacific. Thanks, Chicago, for making our homecoming so warm!

The photos here were only one month apart, and we were up in beautiful leaf country for the transition!

By bear baiting we do in fact mean we’re baiting a bear. Bear baiting consists of taking a bunch of fish guts, molasses-dipped bread and other smelly stuff and tossing it in a pile in the woods. Then you take big logs and toss them on top. When the bear gets hungry he pulls apart the logs and eats the mess beneath, and the hunter can tell if the logs were moved and the chow consumed. You apparently bait a bear for a long time, and then when bear season opens you go sit in a tiny metal chair strapped to a tree and watch for the bear.

In addition to bear baiting, we’re also doing a spot of fishing. So far we’ve only caught tiny perch, walleye and a few small mouth bass, but most of them are not keepers, and the few that are keepers are tiny. No luck there, but it’s such a beautiful thing to be out in nature, rocking in the boat and watching the sun go down. We’re not at all bothered that the fish aren’t biting.

And I, for one, and happy that the bear keeps outsmarting the hunters.

We’ve spent a few weeks in Michigan’s UP, the Upper Peninsula surrounded by great lakes. It is a beautiful, if not rugged landscape that grows tough, hardy people who are simultaneously hard as nails and yet as friendly as Home Improvement’s Wilson character. You can walk into a diner or bar in the UP and see some of the world’s most flannel-clad, bearded and grime covered men, only to have them pull out a chair for you or hold open the door with a tip of their baseball cap. It reminds me of a time I’ve never experienced, but only heard about. People leave their doors unlocked, and neighbors stop by almost daily to chat about the weather, the fishing conditions or whether or not you saw the deer out by the lake the previous evening.

Here is a story to demonstrate my point: The septic tank pump broke and alarms were going off in the cabin. We dug out the still water hole and replaced the pump. Meanwhile, neighbors from the left and right side of the cabin sauntered over to offer their help, advice and the use of their facilities until we solved the problem. Neighbors from even further down the road heard of the incident and drove by to see if they could help. It was like a sitcom scene where the whole town shows up in the yard to help one family. I had heard of such things in the past from my grandparents (or history books) but up in the UP that is just daily life. The community has taken us under their wing, given us local history lessons, books, food and fishing and hiking tips. It’s like we’re part of the family—two long lost prodigal grandchildren who suddenly returned from out of the woods. It’s a great feeling, and one we’ve never experienced anywhere we’ve traveled. All hail to simplicity!

On an unrelated note, our time in the UP has yielded quite a few fish as we try our hands at acquiring our food from the wild. As it stands, I have caught several large bass while Mike seems to be a pro at walleye and pike. I learned to filet the fish, a task which involved (sadly) cutting it open and taking out the parts Americans don’t eat. It made me sad since we’ve seen folks in China dig into the organs and eyes, head, etc and yet we’re wasting those parts here in the US. I have no idea how to cook fish head, but when I’m back in China I’ll take a cooking lesson or two so I don’t have to toss out half the fish in the future. I have this theory that you shouldn’t eat meat if you couldn’t or wouldn’t go out and catch/kill it yourself and prepare it from the moment you capture it to the moment you eat it. I’m testing this long-held philosophy with the fish. So far, it involves petting the bass and apologizing to it, turning around while Mike stuns it, and then I’ll cut it open (while apologizing) and then filet and skin the meat parts. Then I apologize a bit more while I’m washing and storing the fish. I never considered myself a city girl, but I think these Yoopers (UP locals) would have a good laugh if they saw me petting and apologizing to my recently caught bass.

We just returned this evening from a small neighborhood gathering where some of the town’s most well known locals had us (and a few other cabins) over for desert. We chatted about many things, but no political or religious conversations emerged. We talked at great length, however, about the beaver population (did you know a beaver can live up to 80 years!) and told stories around the table of our travels abroad (everyone was extremely intelligent and well traveled). I have to say, it was a really amazing, simple and perfect evening with the Yoopers.