All posts by AbandontheCube

If you plan on visiting Niagra Falls, don’t skip the Canadian side. It doesn’t take that long to get across the border in Buffalo, so take a few extra hours and check out the much more impressive Canadian view. Why is it cooler? For one you have a clear shot at American Falls, which isn’t really visible from the U.S side. Also, the Fun Walkway along the Canadian side includes the Hershey factory, a retro Coca Cola shoppe, A Ripley’s, Planet Hollywood and Hard Rock—all nestles in a neat walkway with souvenirs, with the falls nearby. Fair warning—parking is $18 per car! To get by that we parked at the Duty Free shop, bought a bottle of Maker’s Mark and got free parking. Walked around the falls and then got to cut in the line to the USA directly from the Duty Free parking lot. Once they catch on they’ll figure out how to stop this, but in the meantime save yourself $18 on parking and get a cheap bottle of whiskey to boot.

The falls themselves are amazing, and it’s no wonder the US and Canada both wanted them. The spray comes up over the road, wetting the cars that drive by. You can walk down under the falls, which is amazing, or you can take a Maid of the Mist boat ride near both falls. They provide you with plastic rain covers. We didn’t do either because we have our newborn with us and it’s winter—too cold for the tiny tot. Instead, we watched the falls from the walkways and the bridge. Both beautiful views.

Final tip—if you’re leaving Canada get in the far right lane going through the border, it splits a few more times and it’s the fastest lane to be in.

More photos on the ATC photos page!

Lauren and Gwen inside a giant Hershey bar

Horseshoe falls.

We recently flew from China to the U.S via Japan. What a nightmare. You can read about the travels here. Once in the states we did a few short road trips across country. One from Chicago to the Upper Peninsula in Michigan, another from there through Canada to New England, and a third from there to North Carolina. All of these road trips were amazing, but they were not as relaxing or inviting as a cruise. So in the middle of all of these chaos, rushing, hurrying, gas price monitoring and construction navigation, we’re reminded of how wonderful it really is to just relax on a cruise.

With our little baby we’re not permitted to be on the high seas until she is 6 months old, for some cruise lines, or a year for the remainder. That was a real disappointment for us when leaving China as we had hoped to hop on one of Cunard’s Around-the-World cruise legs and get from Hong Kong to Europe, and then from Europe it’s fairly easy to hop over the pond to the US on any cruise carrier. After talking with Cunard we learned they make no exceptions to that rule, and little Gwen was only a month old when we wanted to cruise out. Oh well. So fly we did, and once again I’m forced to admit just how mind-numbingly exhausting and horrible it is to fly. If she had been allowed on the cruise, then on the ship we would have come!

One of the best things about cruising is just how totally coddled you are. From the moment you wake up your day is planned for you– if you want. Activities nearly every hour! You have food at your fingertips, a pool, gym, spa, and of course the option to just sleep on deck or in your cabin. On a flight you get nothing but rude looks from flight attendants, soda and a box lunch that would be perfect for a third world prison. On a road trip you eat hunches over the steering wheel, fretting about burning gas to heat the car while you eat, and constantly in danger from bad drivers, construction or just road neglect. I’ll take the cruise, please.

They aren’t even that expensive anymore. Sometimes the same cost as flying, depending on your departure port.

So as we finish our road trips across America I’m eagerly looking forward to our next cruise. Once the baby is bigger, that is.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Our road trip began in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. Why does Michigan own the U.P? We don’t know. It borders Wisconsin- but they can’t have it, and it borders Canada- but they can’t have it. Alternatively it doesn’t touch Michigan at all and they had to construct a giant bridge to even get over to the U.P—but they can and do have it. Odd. I bet there is an interesting story there.

We drove along the length of the U.P heading east and stopped along Lake Michigan for fresh air and a wee leg stretch. Our tiny tot Gwen was eager to watch the waves and of course vomited profusely on herself when she was returned to her car seat.

From the U.P we drove to this magical connection bridge. In Michigan everyone who lives south of the bridge is called a “Troll,” while everyone who lives above the bridge is called a” Yooper.” Residents of both areas take an odd portion of pride in this. After crossing the bridge and paying the troll our $4.00 toll we found ourselves in surprisingly dull territory.

The scenery looked almost identical to the mind-numbing drabness that is the American Midwest. Dead fields, dead trees and a sprinkling of depressing farm houses facing mega highways and signs for fireworks and casions. The bridge into Canada from Michigan boasts one of the single most depressing views of a lake I’ve ever seen. Dozens of factories lined Lake St. Clare spewing foam, smoke and foul aromas into the air and sea. Not a good billboard for tourism to either area.

Entering Ontario was east. It’s always easier to get into Canada than out. Drivers in Canada must really fear the Mounties, because they don’t speed. It’s odd because I doubt a horse with a burly Canadian on it’s back could catch my car, especially the way I drive.

We learned that the Canadians are not the most creative town namers. We hit London, Paris, St. Thomas and Waterloo, and that’s just in the tiny peninsula of Ontario between Michigan and New York. And while I’m on the topic, Buffalo isn’t the most creative city name, either. Eh, Canada?

Some of the major highways in Canada close for construction at night. That means major detours for lost Americans whose GPS systems don’t have Canadian maps. Yup, that was us. We were detoured more than an hour out of the way, with ill-marked signs and of course following the world’s slowest truckers. Still, at least the detour wasn’t for a major accident, and that’s always a plus.

Niagra Falls is a unique city. It’s both the name of the falls and the city on the Canadian side, and it’s situated in a cozy and industrially convenient location. More on Niagra Falls later. For now, we leave you with this advice: Don’t travel in Canada at night. Who knows when the roads shut down for the evening.

testking – http://www.testking.com/BH0-007.htm
pass4sure – http://www.pass4sure.com/certification/cissp-study-guide.html
certkiller – http://www.certkiller.com/admissiontest/ssat-test.htm
realtests – http://www.realtests.com/exam/1z0-052.htm
testkingworld – http://www.testkingworld.com/642-533.asp

If you’re following our road trip then you know we hit the U.P via Wisconsin from Rockford, Illinois. This after a long stint in Beijing. Beijing is home to twenty million. The U.P has less than a million in the whole massive area. Needless to say, agoraphobia set in as soon as we hit the dimly populated area. One nice comparison is that there are probably as many birch trees in the U.P as there are people in Beijing.

Having come from a massive city, we found the U.P to be a delight. The people are tough, and remind us of the characters in Northern Exposure. They tell stories that end in “eh” and involve bear hunting, being snowed in for months on end or else hilarious tales of drunken debauchery as they were snowed into the tavern for the night. A great sense of humor and thick skin are prerequisites to living in the U.P. But more than that you need to love the outdoors, because they creep in, and in the U.P there is no contest about which side would win- humanity or nature.

While in the U.P we baited bear, went fishing, hiked around waterfalls and up on the golden hills, and watched the leaves go from green to yellow to vibrant fire red.

See more of the epic photos of the leaves in transition on our photos page!

The American Midwest is a strange land. Daniel Tosh says middle America is for those who have given up on their dreams, and to some extent that’s what the scenery looks like. Lonely farm houses dot the highway, they face the road instead of their fields almost as if longing to jump on the road and escape the monotony of their farm life. Don’t get me wrong, living off the land and farming sounds like it could be amazing, but somehow in the Midwest they make it look draining and miserable. At least that’s how it looks from the window of a car.

We started our road trip from Chicago, having landed there from China in September of 2012. From Chicago we rented an SUV and burned fossil fuels to Rockford, IL. This town has, the residents told me, the highest per capita crime rate in Illinois. Nice claim to fame. A quick drive in the wrong neighborhood and I understood why. What was once a thriving industrial blue collar town has given way to massive unemployment as jobs were shipped overseas. Ingersoll was once based in Rockford, supplying thousands of jobs. They were bought by a Chinese company and moved abroad. Our last week in China we spotted an Ingersoll-Rand road paver. So Rockford went from a thriving industrial hub to a quasi wasteland of unemployment and quiet depression. Moving on.

We then drove through Wisconsin to Michigan’s Upper Peninsula. But the scenery along the way bears mention. First, Wisconsin has some odd ideas about traffic diversions when roads are under construction. Narrowing a four lane to a one lane seems like a poor idea, Wisconsin. Just an observation. Also, your people are fat. Might want to take out the escalators and elevators and put scales at the bottom of the stairs as motivation. Just an idea, Wisconsin.

Michigan, you have some work to do as well. In 2008 the whole country kept a weary eye on Detroit wondering what would happen if the auto industry failed. Detroit no doubt suffered an unfair amount of the burden during the worst of the financial crisis. Luckily, we skipped this city and instead headed to the U.P. This undiscovered land is home to amazing beauty as well as hardy people. More on that later, Amy dear TC readers.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you with this short story about our arrival into Chicago from China. Upon landing in the US we were met with friendly smiles, helpful attendants and about the nicest car rental agent in the Midwest. This was a stark contrast to the rudeness in Beijing, and was a welcomed occurrence this side of the Pacific. Thanks, Chicago, for making our homecoming so warm!

The photos here were only one month apart, and we were up in beautiful leaf country for the transition!

By bear baiting we do in fact mean we’re baiting a bear. Bear baiting consists of taking a bunch of fish guts, molasses-dipped bread and other smelly stuff and tossing it in a pile in the woods. Then you take big logs and toss them on top. When the bear gets hungry he pulls apart the logs and eats the mess beneath, and the hunter can tell if the logs were moved and the chow consumed. You apparently bait a bear for a long time, and then when bear season opens you go sit in a tiny metal chair strapped to a tree and watch for the bear.

In addition to bear baiting, we’re also doing a spot of fishing. So far we’ve only caught tiny perch, walleye and a few small mouth bass, but most of them are not keepers, and the few that are keepers are tiny. No luck there, but it’s such a beautiful thing to be out in nature, rocking in the boat and watching the sun go down. We’re not at all bothered that the fish aren’t biting.

And I, for one, and happy that the bear keeps outsmarting the hunters.

The time has come, my lovely friends, to bid adieu to the Middle Kingdom. We packed up our belongings– things we had acquired over two years in Beijing– and shipped them home in suitcases with friends over the course of a few weeks. When the 8th finally rolled around, we had a giant pile of suitcases to take with us, and of course tiny Gwendolyn and all of her belongings.

One side note. Our little baby was five weeks old when we boarded the plane from Beijing to Tokyo to Chicago. Yet she now has more clothing and accessories than both Mike and I combined. She has a car (stroller) a lazy-boy (car seat) and a contraption to strap her to our chests like royalty on parade. She also has a giant suitcase of clothing that spans from formal dresses and shoes to nightgowns and day clothes that would make Kate Middleton jealous. And that’s not even counting all of her diapers, wipes, lotions, soaps, medicines and more. So, of the five suitcases we flew out with, two were her things.

Our first flight to Tokyo was on JAL – Japanese Airlines. As someone who hates flying and hasn’t done it in over five years, I have to say that the folks at JAL were amazing. They took what could have been a horrible experience for me and turned it into a bit of a wonder. The ladies were so nice, beautiful and concerned with the baby’s comfort that it was almost over-the-top care. We went through the diplomatic line at security as JAL folks led us and the baby to the shortest line. We then went through security (baby got her first pat down) and then got priority boarding at the gate. Once on board they brought a snack for the baby (she was too young for bananas and crackers) and brought her toys (too young, but they left her a JAL burping bib) and then after takeoff they showed up immediately before giving drinks to anyone to set up the clip-on bassinet. Then they came by periodically to make sure she was comfortable and gave us a bag of diapers and wipes for her and allowed us to use the first class bathroom to change her. They were amazing. The flight was only slightly over three hours, and they filled that time up with doting on Gwen.

Then we had a five hour layover in Japan where we were shocked to discover a Mother’s Room with an area for breastfeeding, padding changing tables, and a tap that shot out purified, boiling water for cleaning bottles. Next door was a play area. We were so shocked at the care given to mothers, babies and kids in Japan, especially because in China people were still elbowing their way past me holding the baby at the airport, and smoking near her. Tsk tsk.

From Japan we boarded an American Airlines plane where the flight attendant never even acknowledged us. We had reserved a bassinet, but once in the air they said they couldn’t find it. They never brought us anything for the baby, and when Mike went to change her in the business class bathroom they kicked him out (the coach bathroom is smaller, smaller changing area impossible to use and a giant line to wait in while holding a fidgeting baby on turbulent winds). This flight was eleven hours long, which means that without the basket to rest her in we were stuck holding our newborn on our laps. That meant we couldn’t even fall asleep for a moment or she could fall. 11 hours of no sleep right over the nighttime was tough, really tough. And since we were landing in Chicago and renting a car we were worried we’d be too tired to drive. American Airlines was really, really bad. We were so dehydrated from lack of anything to drink in addition to sleep deprived and exhausted from holding up our eleven pound baby for eleven hours that we were near zombies when we landed. And by the way, there is no priority treatment for people with babies once you land in the USA. No Mother’s Room or anything. It’s hard to see such a stark contrast. (By the way, type in “American Airlines Sucks” on google to see more photo evidence).

We rented a car from Budget and the guy there upgraded our ride once Mike told him we had a newborn. That was a nice surprised. We had a Jeep Grand Cherokee and it barely held all of our luggage and piles of baby stuff.

So, we’re back in America and landed safely after 24 hours door-to-door with a newborn. She was a champ and didn’t cry once. And we’re so grateful to the amazing service on JAL for making the first part of our return so wonderful.

Newer photos loaded every few days at the bottom of the page. NEW!

Here are photos of Gwendolyn at the hospital. We’ll load more on this same page soon. Check back in a week once we get the rest of the memory cards rounded up!

Lauren with Gwen one day one, still in the hospital.

Mike and Gwendolyn, a few hours after birth.

Lauren’s mother with Gwen, hours after birth.

Lauren’s sister with Gwen, day three.

Gwen’s tiny feet– day two.

Gwendolyn, day one. Hours after birth.

She looks like a little umpa-lumpa! Day one.

About her name: Gwendolyn Xiaolong. “Xiao” means “little” in Chinese. Long means “dragon,” so her middle name is “little dragon.” Xiaolong is pronounced “shaow-long.” All one word.

We named her this because it is the year of the dragon, a fortuitous year to be born. She was also born in the 8th month, the luckiest month and one associated with fortune. Since she was born in China we wanted her to have a piece of her story in her name. Plus, she really is turning into a little dragon beast!

Here are some of our nurses and our translator. We had about 20 nurses on various shifts and three doctors. (Photo from Dad)

Gwendolyn in a tiny monk hat. So adorable and grouchy looking. Three days old. (Photo from Dad).

Here is our last photo before we went into the delivery room. Still pregnant and oblivious to the trials ahead!

Lauren’s grandma, Gwen’s GG. (photo from Dad).

The first moment Mike saw Gwen. Minutes old.

Lauren’s sister, on her birthday, the 4th. Also, Obama’s birthday she informed me. (Photo from Dad).

Gwen with her fairy god mother, Lauren’s sister. (Photo from Dad).

Gwen at exactly one day old. She was born at 5:35pm. She rolled over and looked at the clock (and didn’t seem happy about the result). (Photo from Dad).

With all the photos FROM Dad, this is the only one OF Dad and Gwen.

Here she is in her little sling. We tried to take her out for her first outing a few days after we came home from the hospital and she just wouldn’t have it. Ended up staying in.

Aaron came over to see the mini-me. He held her for less than five minutes and she pooed on his lap. Least she was in a diaper and Aaron was a good sport about it!

Grammy all dressed in white for the baptism.

Uncle Sam, reclining in his baptism garb.

A great shot of the baptism of Gwen by Dad and Grammy. A beautiful ceremony in the park.

Our little family at Gwen’s baptism.

Lauren and her siblings at the lake for the baptism.

All the boys at the baptism playing Abby Road.

Gwen at her swearing in ceremony at the US Embassy. Applying to get her passport and SS card. Yay, another American!

my auntie is awesome!

look at my pretty dress!

inconceivable!

“i feel pretty, oh so pretty!”

Two of the girls, and the cat is still bigger!

The godmother supplied little Gwen with so many pretty clothes.

Tiny cargo pants for a newborn! ha!

Gwen in one of her godmother’s outfits. This one was hand made!

Uncle Sam holding Gwen.

Gwen visits her friend Lily. They have a stare down in the nanny’s arms.

She weighs 4.54kg at 3 weeks. Lilly weighed 4.71 and is a few weeks older.

Nuts about Grandma.

Pretty!

Alfalfa hair and princess shoes.

My princess shoes.

cute expression.

pretty in my squid dress.

1950s baby.

baby cheeks.

snake style martial arts pose.

mama and baby.

my other babies!

asleep at last, asleep at last, thank heaven she’s asleep at last.

She looks like a female Eminem in this outfit.

Gwen’s one month birthday outfit. polka dots, tutu, pink and skin tight– so adorable.

Gwen in her birthday suit, on her one-month birthday!

At one month, Gwendolyn in her Great Grandma’s hand-made baptism outfit.

Gwen was born at around 15 inches, and today she was at 18 inches — one month later. Happy Birthday Gwenie!

Mike looks a tad uncomfortable. Cute.

Two little hippos.

Mom with her creepy, freaky green rabbit doll. Yes, she carries it down the street with her.

Baby, baby mama and baby’s mama’s mama.

The Chinese says “Beijing” because she is our little Beijing baby dragon.

_________________From China to the USA____________________

Our last moment in China at the Beijing Airport.

Gwendolyn meets her grandma Bromley.

..and Gwen meets her grandpa Bromley as well!

Gwen gets ready for Thanksgiving a bit early.

This is the creepiest rendition of this American classic I’ve seen in a while.

Mama tells Gwen to learn to drive early.

Gwen sings Elvis songs on the car ride north.

A beautiful smile from a beautiful baby girl. She smiled after a silly joke.

She made this face when I told her that there wouldn’t be a Madagascar IV.

At the smell of beer, Gwendolyn makes a face. And yes, I’ve become that crazy person who snaps millions of photos of her baby and posts them online.

A beautiful knit sweater gift from family friends up in Big Bay. Thanks Ray and Lionna!

Cute sleeping outfit for Gwen from the Bradleys. Thanks guys! She looks adorable, and the giraffe may be her power animal.

————–And now, a series of photos of Gwen’s blowouts————

Here’s Gwen pooping in grandma’s arms.

And here she is having exploded out of her onesie, over her pants and all over her new sweater (oh, and on Mike and grandpa bromley’s armchair)

Here’s mama cleaning up the aftermath.

And finally, Mike changing his first diaper with Gwen one day old.

Oh my, a massive blowout while visiting family in North Carolina. Below, the changing photo.

Gross.

Here I change her diaper on the lawn in Philadelphia, where our nation’s independence was announced.

————–Back to poop-free photos————-

Uncle Sam naps with Gwen.

A cute duckie outfit for bed time.

A pretty outfit for Uncle Sam’s golden birthday party!

Little Gwen in her greaser outfit.

Daddy and Gwenie hanging out outside.

BearPaw introduces Gwen to an alpaca.

Party outfit!

Daddy’s pretty baby.

Auntie Kristin, who dresses Gwen so nicely.

Honi takes a nap with Gwen.

An OMG cute sleeper outfit.

Cabin clothes for Auntie and Gwenie.

Gwen at Lake Michigan.

Daddy and Gwen at Lake Michigan.

Gwen at her Build-a-Bear Dragon take a road trip.

Gwen meets her first Canadian.

“Oh hai, why you no talk to me?”

One happy road-tripping baby.

Gwen’s first interaction with a giant personified piece of candy.

Inside a giant Hershey’s bar = heaven for mama and Gwen.

Hard Rock cafe- Niagra Falls = CHECK!

Daddy and Gwen at Niagra Falls, Canada.

The family at the falls.

Gwen, the little angel, and her awesome pacifier.

So happy to be so fashionable!

A cute hat from Auntie Gayle.

mama rocks a baby to sleep in a cute snail-themed nightie. Ironically, she fell asleep slowly, too.

Daddy picked out my outfit. I look like a grouchy, color-blind umpa-lumpa.

Uncle Mike shows the kids how to hold a baby.

Uncle Mike teaches a class about China to nephew Andrew and his lovely classmates in New Hampshire.

Loves her car seat.

Gwen sees the liberty bell.

The first cousins meet! Cooper and Gwen (and my cousin Josh and I).

The first cousins.

holy cute.

Great Oma and Cooper and Gwendolyn.

Great Opa and Gwendolyn.

A cute Calvin Klein outfit from Aunt Nancy!

Grandma’s new pink outfit for Gwen.

Gwen’s Halloween costume.

Gwen on her 3-month birthday!

Grandma holds Gwen (photo from Aunt Kim!)

Lauren’s grandparents at the Melang family photo shoot!

Family photo.

In Nashville, a lovely hat and sweater from Aunt Pam, Sarah and Uncle Erik!

Gwen goes to Tootsies, in Nashville.

Another Nashville bar, 3pm. Awesome.

Gwen sees Al Green, in Memphis.

Gwen visits Bill Clinton’s library, in Little Rock.

A cute outfit for her day in Tulsa.

Gwen visits Uncle Sam in OK.

Peanuts in Colorado Springs.

Gwen meets a Jarvis.

At Garden of the Gods.

Gwen keeps an eye out for snakes.

“This pool is just my size!”

Gwen wears little Bear Paws cuz she missed her BearPaw and Honi.

Kristin teaches Gwen how to sing……. then the baby took over!

So chic and fashionable.

Gwen turns 4 months

Present from Auntie K

Toy from fairy Kris

Gwen’s first thanksgiving

Visiting friends.

Holy cuteness, Batman.

Almost Christmas!

Gwen’s first snow

Foreshadowing?

More cuteness.

Christmas!

Daddy’s helper

To the beach!

Gwen turns 5

Present from Kris

BearPaw!

Photo shoot

Ahhhhh!

Playing with Grampy

Grammy babysits!

Lovin’ on Grampy

Playing in the high chair

Eating crushed peas.

How you doin’?

Too much fun!

family photo!

We’ll load more photos soon. Check back if you’re interested.

Although the last post was overwhelmingly negative, the actual delivery and birth went quite well, and our baby is now safely tucked in our room.

We were concerned about a great many aspects of the pregnancy because of the poor prenatal care and the total lack of respect our doctor and nurses on the prenatal floor had for us, and for the process in general. Mary’s could use some major work in this area. But, the folks up on the fourth and fifth floors- delivery, operating room, maternity nurses, etc- are of another breed.

Upon arrive on the delivery floor we were greeted by a barrage of blue-clad nurses, some of whom spoke English quite well to our surprise. Our translator, who until this point had been distant and nonchalant, appeared eager to help and anxious. A nutritionist came in to inquire about my religious-food habits and the baby’s doctor came in to introduce herself. My own doctor came in to introduce herself as well. We all agreed to start the induction as progress was going too slowly, in the morning.

Morning rolled around and progress was non existent. We started an IV in the pre- delivery ward. The room was barren and toothpaste green, with two beds and a lot of hardware. A local lady was across the room chowing down on some unidentifiable piece of meat while watching her IV go down. They hooked me up and we watched the clock. A few hours later there was no progress. Then suddenly around noon the contractions started in every two minutes and extremely painfully so. I was doubled over, vomiting, coughing and panting. Nothing prepares you for that level of pain. They put me on oxygen and the nurse sat on the bed with me for the next four hours. Although the contractions became more frequent overall progress wasn’t occurring. Between 9am and 4pm I had dilated less than one centimeter. The translator came in with the doctor to tell me pain medication was not an option until I was dilated, but that in an epic catch 22, that simply wasn’t happening. They set a time limit- either dilate by 4am or they would insist on a C-section. It was nearing 5pm. I threw up a banana Popsicle (gross combo anyways!) and the doctor agreed that a C-section at this point was probably the best option considering the oxygen, vomiting and painful labor without progress. I was very disappointed in myself, but continuing in that state seems futile considering the slow dilation over the past eight hours.

So, we prepped for surgery. At this point things happened very quickly. Mike signed about two dozen release forms while they prepped me for the operating room. The next thing I knew (still in contractions every other minute) I was being wheeled down the hall, horrified pregnant women peeking out of doorways as I rolled past.

They blocked Mike at the doorway to the operating room, and lifted me onto a table under a giant white light. I was rolled onto my side and given an epidural. If you’ve never experienced this, it’s a unique feeling. The anesthesiologist (who spoke English nearly fluently) moved the needle around making my limbs feel like they were being electrocuted. It was so bizarre.

I was strapped to a cross-shaped table, my arms were tied down. They raised a screen so I wouldn’t see the incision. Sadly, in the rush the pain killers hadn’t yet reached the spot, so I felt the cut and howled into the oxygen mask. The nurses all jumped and the doctor’s eyes about fell our of her head. They waited a few minutes and tried again. I could still feel everything, but not as painfully. It was as if my stomach was unzipped. I could feel the cuts at different layers without experiencing overwhelming pain. This was pretty fascinating because my mind was 100% lucid. Probably not a great idea without a psychological pre screening.

They reached in and I could feel them holding her head. Then they pushed on my stomach from the outside to urge her out. I heard a doctor comment at how big she was. She didn’t make a sound and I started to panic, thinking the worst. My heart monitor was beeping so fast that the translator came over to hold my hand and she brushed my hair and whispered calming things. A few minutes later I heard the first baby cry and, of course, started crying too. The translator wiped away my tears and the nurses all gushed and there was sobbing all around and people coming by my face to say how pretty she was.

A few minutes later a nurse walked over with her, showed me her genitalia and announced “it’s a girl!” Remember, at this point we weren’t supposed to know. It was an odd first view of my baby, but she flipped her around and put her cheek up to my face so I could kiss her and see her from a more favorable angle. She really was adorable, though a bit covered in blood for my taste.

The nurse took the baby away and I heard them performing the Apgar in the background. The doctors and nurses spent over half an hour closing me back up. What had taken around five minutes to do, was 30 in the undoing. Still, an amazing medical feat and I’m always impressed at how quickly and professionally surgeons do their craft. The translator stayed by my side and held my hand the whole time. How was this the same person who didn’t care at all in pre- natal? She was saving the day.

I was rolled out of the room and into the hallway where I saw my dad and brother. My dad’s flight had landed while I was in delivery, so he got to the hospital in time to wait outside the O.R with Mike and my mom and brother. It was such a nice sight to see them right away. They wheeled me to my room where I saw Mike holding the baby in the doorway. A few hands lifted me into bed and I think I slept. I didn’t hold the baby for several hours. I did hear my family in the room as the pain medication wore off. When it was gone, there wasn’t overwhelming pain but it was ever present. I fed the baby for the first time but still hadn’t seen her up close. It wouldn’t be until the next day that I got a good look at her and could hold her sitting up.

Well, that’s the story of how Gwendolyn joined the world. A bit of a rocky start and I’m sure she’ll hate bananas forever, but she came out a champion and a dragon.

Side note about her development. At exactly one day old, we laid her stomach down on the bed for a photo next to the clock at 5:35 (her birth hour) and she pushed herself up to look at the clock. She is amazingly strong! She can nearly sit up on her own, and she is holding her head up and looking around, pushing away from shoulders to view the other people in the room. She’s strong enough to push and pull items and, before I could feed her, she sucked the skin off her own hand. What a little beast! Cute beast though.

Having a baby in China as a westerner is an astonishing experience in every sense of the word. It’s unlike the process back home in almost every way. Granted, I’ve never given birth anywhere else– I’ve just heard stories from friends who have and a few brief visits to maternity wards to see friends. Still, the experience sound almost nothing alike.

Recap of Available Hospitals in Beijing:

There were several hospital options to choose from as an expat. I could attend a local hospital where the doctors only speak Chinese. I could attend an expat hospital, where the doctors were trained abroad. Or I could attend a high-end Chinese hospital where the facilities and equipment are western but the doctors are local. For some ungodly reason I chose the later. Actually, the reason was money.

There are two expat hospitals in town. Beijing United and AmCare. Both charge a small fortune, and cater almost exclusively to expats whose insurance will be carrying most of the financial burden. When I contacted the hospital for a price quote I nearly delivered the baby on the spot when I heard the shocking sum. Over 50,000rmb. AmCare was slightly more affordable at 40,00rmb.

Of the high-end Chinese hospitals, Mary’s Maternity and Beijing Union, we preferred the latter. Unfortunately, owing to the popularity of both the year of the dragon (2012) and the fortuitous nature of the 8th month (August) that hospital was fully booked for our due date, and had been for months. That means people reserved their beds before becoming pregnant. Essentially, that left us with only one option- Mary’s Maternity Hospital. So, that’s where we went.

Mary’s Maternity Hospital:

Mary’s had quite a mixed reputation. Some friends of ours swore by it (“they sent the baby a birthday card every year!”) while others lamented it as low quality and high price. At 30,000rmb, it was cheaper than the expat hospitals but more than the local hospitals. They claimed to have translators on staff who were also studying to be nurses who would be there every step of the way.

If you do a search for photos of the hospital you’ll find an amazing array of beautiful snapshots…. of other hospitals. Even the image above is a massively doctored photo of the actual shoddy building. I don’t think Mary’s understands what false advertising is. In the lobby of the real hospital is a collection of photos labelled “Mary’s Mothers and Infants Hospital” and then photos of luxury hospitals and hotel rooms. I asked dozens of times (mostly for the fun responses) if we could see those rooms and lobbies. They always looked confusedly at me and said, “but that isn’t here!” Silly me. Anyways, here is a photo of the actual pre-and-post delivery room.

Our initial visit was a success. The hospital was relatively clean, and unlike most local hospitals there was both T.P and soap in the bathrooms. Our doctor was a 90-year-old communist with close-cropped hair and a smile that could re-freeze the ice caps. She was about 4 and a half feet tall and had a grip like a caged gorilla. She sized us up as morons and immediately advised us to go home to deliver the baby. She couldn’t be bothered. She had a point, but we had a business to run in Beijing and couldn’t leave, so we ruined her day by making her aware of our intention to stay in China for the birth. She sneered not so differently than a badger would when defending it’s burrow, and ushered us out of the room without a word. Apparently we were done for the day.

Our next few visits were not much of an improvement. They sometimes weighed me, sometimes didn’t and then looked shocked when there was a jump of a kilo or more in a month. They sometimes monitored my heart, sometimes didn’t. Everything was haphazard. They took blood and urine samples without fail, however. The results of all of these tests were not shared with us, and we were not entitled to them. When we asked the answer was always the same. “It’s nothing.” It wasn’t until the fifth month that I finally insisted on taking my records home and looking at them. It was then that I discovered any information about my pregnancy at all.

Around seven months, they informed me the baby wasn’t getting enough oxygen. Actually, the way they informed me was the translator typed a word into her iPhone and then showed it to me. “Cardiac Ischemia.”Knowing very little about cardiac health and illnesses I called Mike, who was at home, to look up a few details of my newly acquired ailment. He informed me it was a pretty serous thing. I was alone at the hospital all afternoon between oxygen intakes and EKGs and then fetal heart monitoring. The whole time, no one would tell me anything. I was ushered from room to room by an angry translator who reminded me it was her day off with every turn of the hallway. I was a wreck for a week worrying about this, emailing medical friends and researching online. In the western world information releases stress, in the East apparently the less you know the better. Without information, though, my mind assumed the worst.

They made me come to the hospital every other day for a half hour intake of oxygen, and then they’d do a fetal heart monitoring session to see if things were on the up and up. We either got the badger sneer or the frigid smile. No other information was provided, despite our pleas. We snatched up test results for a sneak peek, only to have them grabbed back and stuffed in our file like a top secret dossier of private information.

One thing about giving birth in China– you become your own doctor. Eventually I took home our records and spent days translating them. We used the test results and the internet to essentially play doctor ourselves. Did I have preeclampsia? We learned how to tell using the urine and blood pressure test results. Was I anemic? We learned how to read into the blood test for that. I spent hours studying how to read an ultrasound so I could check the cord blood, heart rate, amniotic fluid levels, PI and RI and so on. You’d be surprised how many textbooks are fully online these days. And so, after a few months we were experts in the fields of ultrasound interpretation and blood and urine analysis.We were not, however, any closer to understanding why our doctor was so cold, or why no one wanted to share anything with us. Seems it was harder to make a connection with anyone at the hospital than to learn all of these insanely complicated medical elements ourselves.

At 8.5 months they finally agreed to let us take an oxygen tank home with us rather than commute through the horrid Beijing pollution to get an intake at the hospital. This was a marked improvement for us, and lowered stress and anxiety (brought on by the very thought of dealing with the hospital) and increased oxygen without compromising it with exhaust fumes on the way to and fro. Here’s a photo of the little tank.

At nine months the baby was late, and the doctor insisted on waiting. There were no special test, but our regularly scheduled ultrasound showed the cord wrapped around the baby’s neck twice. We were informed of this nonchalantly by our mostly incompetent translator as she picked her lunch out of her gnarled teeth and strolled down the hallway ahead of us playing on her iPhone. “So you know, the cord is around it’s neck twice.” and then she walked off. It took about 45 minutes for us to make the doctor and the translator understand that we wanted more information. “We already explained it. The cord is there,” she would say. “Yes, but what does that imply?” I’d ask. “I explained it. The cord!” she’d yell. “Yes, but what does that mean for the baby, for our delivery?” Mike would try to interject. Eventually we left the hospital and, as always, did our own research online.

At this point, we’re frustrated, anxious and entirely fed up with the whole process at Mary’s. You’re not entitled to information about your health or your baby. Ultrasound techs lament showing you the screen. Translators don’t know medical terminology. Doctor’s are too concerned with their two-hour lunch break to offer you any real time or concern, and record keeping is shoddy. If we could do it again, we surely wouldn’t attend Mary’s, but then we’d likely head back home like our under-zealous doctor advised in the first place!

Tune in next week for Vol. II– Delivery and Postnatal Care at Mary’s

We’ve met quite a few people who make their money on the road in interesting ways. Whatever allows you to travel and make a bit of cash to break even is good enough for most.

Surprisingly, though, we’ve met a rash of people recently who have made their travel money playing poker. If you’re interested in making your money via gambling you can try a site like Playpoker.com, where you’ll get the opportunity to play and earn a few bucks in the process. In Beijing recently we met a lucky fellow who won a jackpot and used all of his winnings to fund his entire trip to Asia– several months on the road in exotic lands. A few years ago we met another man who would play online for hours each day, thinking of it as his 9-5pm job. He would pull in thousands each month and once he’d saved enough he took off on a round-the-world tour. If you know what you’re doing, playing poker online can really rake in the dough. Whatever gets you back on the road!

We’ve also met people who, like us, make their money selling their experiences in the form of writing contracts. Some have written books, some have lucrative blogs (those with SEO experience, anyway) and some do journalism or travel pieces as they tour. This is a great way to make travel cash if you’re a decent writer and have a few contacts in the industry somewhere. Sadly, the field is overcrowded and standards have dropped.

We also met a fellow who makes his travel cash building websites. It’s a mobile industry– you can do it from anywhere! He sets up a few website contracts and then travels as he builds them. It’s difficult to find constant internet access in some regions of the world (ahem, Mongolia!) but if you know how to structure a decent site (and perhaps a bit about SEO and marketing) this is a lucrative potential way to make travel cash.

Whatever helps you fund your travels can’t be a bad thing! Get out there, try a few of these techniques and make a few bucks to extend your travels or launch a new adventure. The road awaits!

Recently we’ve had a rash of strange creatures find their way into our little Beijing hutong. Perhaps it’s because we finally broke down and installed air conditioning. The weather outside the hutong is humid, sticky, hot and gross so when little creatures find their way inside it must be quite a relief.

First it was blood worms. At least that’s what I nick-named the bright red worms who crawl out of the shower drain whenever the drain cover is removed for a shower. A search online revealed that there is already something called a blood worm, and it has nothing to do with Beijing’s horrible plumbing practices or the long worms that emanate from the drains in our bathroom. Still, they don’t do any harm so we share the bathroom with them and in return they clean the grout. Not a bad trade off. By the way, as far as I can tell the worm is a regular compost-style worm but when they live in water they turn red. That might be BS because I got it off the internet. I’m not too interested in doing further worm research.

Last autumn we noticed a new scratching noise above our heads. Somehow a creature had worked it’s way inside our roof, but not quite into the house. We debated what the creature could be for a long time. We named it “Chuck” and when he didn’t who up for a few nights in a row we would worry about Chuck’s safety. It turns out Chuck was a feral ferret, or more appropriately a common Siberian golden weasel. They infest the entire area of Beijing…. infest it with cuteness!  We hate to be greedy, but eventually Chuck got so loud that we couldn’t sleep at night, so we bought chicken wire and climbed up on our hutong roof and blocked poor Chuck’s entry into the house. No more Chuck, though I hope he is doing well and has infiltrated someone else’s ceiling.

Next it was the geckos. These guys are pretty cute. So cute in fact that I wish they would stay out of the house because our two little cats are enjoying their first crack at real hunting going after these guys. The geckos are about five to seven inches long as adults, and the size of a postage stamp as infants. They can really crawl quickly. A few weeks ago I watched an outdoor gecko of the same variety attack a giant centipede. The centipede quickly coiled into a ball and flung it’s mighty tail at the gecko, who didn’t let go but furiously flung it’s head left and right. It lost grip on the centipede who scurried into a hole, but the battle was epic while it lasted. On another occasion Gremlin (our cat) caught a gecko and it detached from its tail, leaving the tail to distract the fascinated cat while the rest of the body scampered up the wall and out of reach.

Which brings me to the centipedes and millipedes. These guys are not really welcome, and were the first creatures to get the boot from the house. When we find one, it’s Mike’s lucky job to toss it out of the house before the cats get a hold of it. I’ve read that some centipedes are quite poisonous. They haven’t managed to climb up the walls at all, so at least they are confined to the floor. We keep finding them near the cat food bowls. Not a smart move on the part of the centipede. When the cats do find them, they poke at them but generally are not interested in a quick meal.

Finally this morning we had our most recent house guest, the common yellow scorpion. When I found him I was barefoot rummaging under the bed for our extra blankets. Out of the corner of my eye I saw a shape that registers the flight impulse. So I flew out of the room. Mike came in with a bucket and turned it over the scorpion. Later, he discovered it was already dead. Another causality of the cats, it seems.

So after two years of living in a Beijing hutong, these are the only guests we’ve had. Not bad considering other people have reported cockroaches, ants and rats.

We at ATC are constantly inspired by the travelers around us. Having recently met the digital acquaintance of singer/songwriter and traveler Darius Lux we thought we’d pass the music of a world sojourner on to our readers. Below is a letter from Darius to our readers:

For the past two years Lauren has been running a small book club in Beijing called Book Smugglers. From time to time publishers send books for review. Border Run, by Simon Lewis, was one such book. Below is a review composed by Sam Johnson.

“Looking for a new experience? Try murder.” This intriguing book by Simon Lewis picks you up, takes you running, and doesn’t stop till the end. Full of action and moral choices, you won’t want to pass this up.

Two friends backpacking in south-east China are given an opportunity to go off the beaten path or “mango-smoothie trail” when a friendly guide offers them a free ride to a distant waterfall. The promises of beauty and sex lead to an eruption of violence and a clashing of wills that keep you on the edge of your seat. Friendships are tested and morality is brought in to question in this Burmese jungle far from home. Will, the protagonist, is shocked when a series of events launches him into a deadly situation shared by his friend Jake and their guide. Can they keep this secret? Will’s actions and thoughts sometimes tend towards the implausible, but what would you do in his shoes? Will’s friend Jake at times seems to be his polar opposite morally; it is his decent into darkness that reveals Will’s character more fully. Can he be saved? And finally, what can be made of the chameleon guide. He is their friend one minute and a deadly enemy the next.

As the characters develop you may side with one, then the other in this deadly game of life and death on what was at first a simple Border Run.

Border Run from Simon Lewis, published by Sort of. 2012. 226 pages and available paperback for £7.99 and in the U.S. from $8.00 to $17.00. Amazon details here.

It’s a long story, and one we’ll share at another point, but we’ve moved on from our management of 12sqm Bar in downtown Beijing. We’d like to take this opportunity to thank all of our regulars, customers, tourists and friends and family for making our experience as bar operators one of the most thrilling and rewarding jobs we’ve ever had!

Mike and I on our final day at the bar, a bit sad but full of amazing memories! (above).

Mike has one final beer and I mix a final cocktail at the bar. Happy times, great memories! (above).

Thanks again to everyone who helped make this the amazing, life-altering experience that it was!

We recently had some friends visit us in Beijing, an occurrence which was a wonderful reminder of how many amazing sights there are in this city. Instead of the major tourists hot spots like the Forbidden City, our friends enjoyed the smaller, more tucked away treasures. The Llama Temple was a favorite, as was eating street food and walking around in the hutongs. We did hit the main highlights (hey, ya got to!), like the Great Wall at Mutianyu and the Forbidden City and Summer Palace, but the real days of exploration and discovery involved the more local favorites, Jingshan Park after the rain, Houhai on a weekend, etc.

Above (image) a very crowded summer-time Forbidden City. The palace was so packed we had to wait in “line” to peek into each throne room. On the other hand, the Great Hall of Clocks provided air conditioning and an early glimpse at China’s attempts to reverse engineer Western technology.

Above (image) Mutianyu. Surprisingly, this favored section of the Great Wall was not that busy mid-week in late May. It was, however, beautiful and worth the drive up. Our guests couldn’t have dreamed of better weather for their Great Wall day.

Above (image) of a side street off Nanluoguxiang. Our guests enjoyed waking up and strolling around the hutongs in search of coffee and adventure. They usually succeeded in one of the two. People watching in the hutongs is a great way to pass some relaxing time. The little window at 12sqm Bar & Cafe was a great place to peek out at the world.

Above (image) of a very un-crowded Llama Temple mid-week. The guests enjoyed this a great deal. It has easy access, isn’t swarmed with camera-touting tourists in floppy hats and smells like sandalwood.

With the current crackdown on foreigners the guests did have to deal with the raging xenophobia common in China. They don’t have other “races” to deal with so they don’t know how not to be racist. Unfortunately, they project all of this on foreigners, which is a broad term that can mean basically anyone who isn’t Han. We had a hard time getting cabs, even though dozens would screech by empty and looking for Chinese passengers. Our poor guests also had several doors rudely shut in their faces. At the Summer Palace the guard told them to go buy tickets to get into a temple, they went, got in line and when they handed the lady their money she slammed the little window down on them, the guard then shut the temple doors.  The same thing happened at closing time at Jingshan park and again on their last night at the Bird’s Nest. A shame, but then it is also an accurate picture of a broad swath of people who dislike and distrust anyone non-Han. The crackdown had many other adverse effects, including random passport checks and a crackdown on foreigners riding the subway without their “papers.” This added a lot of stress and was a pain in the ass for tourists and was, essentially, a pointless campaign. Still, I doubt it ruined their experiences.

China is a great place to get artistic. Granted, it’s hard to paint outdoors because a mob will gather around you, suffocating any sense of serenity or peace, but at the same time the social vibe can be fun if you’re into painting people. What I love about painting in China is the cost.

On Wusi St. in Beijing you’ll find several art shops that sell a range of supplies. From modeling to wood work to painting, sculpture and sketching, everything your artistic heart could desire. And at the fraction of the cost of buying stateside. In 2007 for my birthday I was given a $100 gift card to an art store in Minneapolis. I was in 7th heaven running around filling up my cart. Turns out $100 doesn’t go far in an art store in America. I ended up buying one giant, awesome canvas, some brushes and paints and a sketchbook and pens.

On Wusi St. I took $100 and walked out with ten meters of canvas (unframed), around 30 paint tubs, 12 new brushes, a sketchbook, charcoal pencils, eraser, drafting rulers and all the fixings (paint thinner, sealer, finisher, etc). It was a bonanza. And more recently when my folks visited they did a similar shopping spree at the art store. And why not, you take a suitcase of paints out on your flight and you can paint for a year!

A few days ago a lovely lady at the bar asked to buy one of my paintings (remember the giant llama painting?). I’m pretty attached to my dignified animals, but it was a happy moment nonetheless to have an offer. I’ve had some other interest in my dignified squid. I’m just hoping to hold on to them long enough to get the whole series completed and photographed. Here are some of the dignified animals below.

Dignified Animals:

Dignified Llama (above). The canvas is around 4X4feet, framed.

Dignified Hippo (above). The canvas is around 5 feet x 2 feet, unframed.

Dignified Squid (above). The canvas is 1 foot x 2.5 feet, framed.

Dignified Sloth (above). The canvas is 1 foot x 9 inches.

Un-Dignified Alpaca. This one wasn’t part of the series, but it kind of fits in well here. The canvas is about 1 foot by 9 inches.

Picaso Copies

I was also fascinated by Picaso for a while and went through a phase where I was tossing color and shapes around, even more ridiculously than the master himself (and not as successfully). Here are a few of the Picaso replicas:

The pregnant woman seems sadder in mine than Picasos, and also a bit more Dr. Seuss like.

The above was also not as successful as Picaso’s (that’s why he’s the man!). I’m also not sure why her boobs are hanging out while she’s reading. I usually don’t read that way.

The above is my least favorite of my Picaso copies. I might do some work on the tiles to make them pop more, and I’ve always disliked the muted mirror.

The above isn’t a Picaso copy, it’s an original! But it borrows from Picaso with the dual faces. I was going for a rich woman-poor woman dichotomy.

Dali Copies

A few months ago I went through a Salvador Dali phase. Below are two of the many Dali look-alike pieces I did:

The above is a bit more “southwestern” than Dali’s normal landscapes, but I love the long-legged elephant look.

The above is obviously part of a pair, I did them to flak a doorway.

Oil Paintings

Below are a few oil paintings I was working on a year ago. Oil has never been my medium just because it takes too long to dry and thus fills up with cat hair before it can set.

The above is a mix of oil and acrylic. 3 feet by 2.5 feet, roughly. The reflection is all oil, the rest is acrylic. The below image is meant to accompany it as a pair.

Disturbing Images

Mike says some of my art is creepy.  I don’t really agree, but here are some of the ones that he dislikes.

The above was part of a very long phase where I painted eyeballs. I have about twenty eyeball paintings.

The above started out as one thing, and morphed into another. Mike calls it the “creepy hermaphrodite” which is an insult to real hermaphrodites everywhere. It’s unfinished, but I might leave it that way to add to the oddness.

All is going well with the pregnancy at present, and our baby girl (that’s right, it’s a girl!) will be arriving this summer. Below is baby’s first solo photo shoot:

Mother is doing well, too. Here’s what Lauren looks like when round:

Baby Gear: With one more trimester to go, things are looking good. We have several of the things we need for the baby girl’s arrival. Including little tiny clothes, a stroller, a bathing cot, bottles and a few other accessories. At present, the baby owns more clothing than Mike. Many thanks to Lauren’s sister for providing such adorable clothing! (see below). We also have a lovely baby shower in the works for late May, thanks to a very special friend here in China.

We also have a pretty sweet ride we’ve dubbed the “Mini Batmobile” because it’s sleeker than any other mode of transportation we’ve ever owned. Save for Mike’s first batmobile.

Baby Name: One thing we don’t have is a name. Any ideas? While Mike is interested in a more traditional name, Lauren is holding out for something unique. That brings the grand total of names on the short-list to two. And no one is doing back flips over either one. We need your help!

Pregnancy Care in China: Many of you are asking about the level of healthcare at our hospital. We’re pretty happy so far. Earlier this month we had a gestational diabetes screening test followed by a fetal cartographic scan. They are keeping an eye out for preclampsia and other disorders without being overly invasive. Lauren has had extensive blood work done, and her weight (and the baby’s) is tracked monthly. We also have a fetal heart monitor at home, basically a Doppler ultrasound where we can check the baby’s daily heart rate. We pre-paid at our hospital for the prenatal plus delivery packages, which totaled around $5,000. Not cheap by local standards, not cheap by Cube Abandoning standards but decent considering the amount of testing we’re getting each month. The baby’s first close up photo at the top of this blog is from a 4D ultrasound, advanced technology in any country and readily available here along with a technician who knew her stuff! So the care is good, but having never been hospitalized or spent serious time in a US hospital we don’t know how to compare it to prenatal care back home.

It may come as a surprise to you, but the more vacation you take the healthier you’ll be. Or, so says a study done in the UK to promote healthier living. What shocked me about this study was that Americans get an average of 14 days of holiday a year and use 12 of them. We’re already getting far less than most other first-world nations, and yet we’re not using two of our very valuable days off. The study goes on to show depression decreases with increases in holidays, but surprisingly so does productivity. So businesses would benefit from making their employees take some R&R.

One of the biggest concerns with only have two weeks of vacation (and using even less) is that Americans are not able to travel abroad as easily with such limited time. Factoring in travel time (two days) and jet-lag (a half day on each side) you’re looking at losing three days if you go abroad. For many, this is deterrent enough, but factoring in airfare can make the decision to stay stateside seem obvious. The less Americans travel the less they know about the real-world situation on the ground in other countries. This isn’t great because frankly many Americans still believe we have the best system in the world. Perhaps we do, in some cases. But a trip to Sweden or Norway might reveal some real advantages to the way they live, govern themselves and stabilize their economies. Assuming our way is the best without looking at other options is a bit childish. The American republic is an amazing thing, and we’re a very free and lucky nation– but we need to keep evolving or we’ll go the way of all great empires.  One way to move forward is to constantly observe what is and is not working in other nations, and to implement the practices in our own nation that have proven logical, time-tested improvements. For example, the train systems in Europe and Asia provide revenue to their respective governments, are efficient, technologically advanced and provide a solution to many people’s transportation woes. Additionally, it has the added benefit of decreasing pollution, congestion and benefits the environment. It’s a solid infrastructure investment yet we’re lagging behind other first world nations, and embarrassingly enough several third world nations have better transportation technology than the USA. To the left is an image of the subway in Shanghai, to the right is an image of the subway in New York. One of them needs updating.

To show an even more embarrassing disparity. China now has the fastest train in the world, which whisks people from Beijing to Shanghai in five hours. FIVE HOURS! That’s the distance from Seattle to San Fransisco. We could use that on the West Coast. What do we have instead? Amtrak. Below are two pictures. An Amtrak train and a normal, high-speed train (not the new bullet train). If we don’t update our infrastructure soon we’ll be left behind, and an update will cost more, involve a steeper learning curve and ultimately result in years of lost revenue.

Above in an Amtrak Train. Below is a normal high-speed train in China.

A few pictures say more than words will, and that’s one reason why Americans need to travel more, to get more time off work to explore and to see that high-tech systems are going in all over the world yet we’re languishing behind driving old cars, using old, worn down trains with poor routing, and taking fewer personal and vacation days. Why?

Happy St. Patrick’s Day, Beijing. You’re supposed to dye the waters green, not layer the city in three-five inches of impenetrable snow.

In the hutongs near Nanluoguxiang we got around 3-5 inches of light, fluffy snow.

My hog, covered in Beijing’s first snow of the year, on March 17th, 2012.

Our little hutong alleyway as the giant snowflakes fall. 2am.

And finally, the classic shot of the streetlight in the snow.

A friend of ours took these side-by-side pics from her highrise in downtown Beijing. 1:30am.

The other day Mike and I were buzzing around on our super sleek moped. He calls it a motorcycle as his man points don’t decrease when saying “I’ll be there on my hog!” but they sure do when you use the words “scooter” or “moped.” Anyways, we were on the “motorcycle” heading to the other side of town when we saw a curious, and heart-wrenching sight.

A woman was lying at the point where the sidewalk meets the pedestrian crossing of a very major intersection in Beijing. Her legs were straight out, her arms were by her side. A local man was bent over her lightly pushing on her chest and looking around with a bored expression while texting on his phone. Every once in a while he’d blow in her mouth. She was imbobile.

We parked the moped and Mike, who was once a lifeguard at a swimming pool, ran over to get the local man off the lady and administer CPR correctly. Not only was he pushing her chest incorrectly, but he was essentially just blowing air into her mouth, none of which would be reaching her lungs.

I’ll pause here to point out that I didn’t notice anything wrong personally other than how bored the man looked. Mike was in a panicked rage as he jogged over and checked the woman’s pule. She was alive! And not only that, she was breathing normally. The man’s feeble attempts at CPR were endangering her much more than helping. I’ll pause here again to point out that after this incident I looked up how to do CPR, and now I can safely say that the dude had clearly seen it on a movie or TV show and was trying to mimic what he’d seen.

Mike asked what happened and it was revealed that the woman had suffered a seizure and fallen over. Unsure what to do (or what a seizure was) a crowd gathered around the woman’s body, which was locked up and nearly paralytic from the shock of the epileptic fit. Since she was non responsive, they assumed she was dead or dying. There was no telling how long she’d been there except to say that it was long enough for quite a massive crowd of onlookers to have accumulated around her seized body. The show was made all the more fantastic for the onlookers with the addition of a frantic white man pushing his face against the Chinese lady’s body and holding his fingers to her neck.

Once Mike determined that she was okay, he instructed the crowd not to touch her, he turned her head in case she vomited, and made sure she had room to breath while awaiting the ambulance someone assured him had been called.

An ambulance pulled up, with several EMPs jumping out hauling a defibrillator. At this point Mike vanished into the crowd and dashed back to the moped. There are horror stories of lawsuits and legal charges against people who are attempting to help a victim on the street in China. We zoomed off and listened to the ambulance siren as it whisked the woman away. There’s no telling how much air was in her stomach from the inaccurate CPR, or if foam and saliva had been blown into her lungs, exacerbating the woman’s plight.

The strangest thing about this whole story isn’t how strange it is. It isn’t how feebly the one man helped, or how an entire crowd gathered to watch but not assist, or even our shock at seeing our very first ambulance in China — in three years! The strangest thing was that the day went on and as with most things in China, this bizarre event was quickly forgotten and it wasn’t until the next day that Mike remembered what had happened and told the story to a friend of his at the bar.

Ladies and gentlemen, it’s official! We’re expecting a tiny little cube abandoner of our own! The little guy (or gal) will be here late this July. We’re planning on having the baby in Beijing, China.

If ultrasound pictures don’t gross you out, one of out little babe is below.

One of the most interesting (and comically frustrating) aspects of staying in China for the pregnancy and birth is that it’s 2012. Many of you think of this as the year the Mayan calendar said we’d all bite the dust. In Asia, 2012 is the glorious Year of the Dragon. This is the single most fortuitous time in the Chinese zodiac to have a baby. Thus, anyone who could wait to have a child has done so aiming to have it born in 2012. Their baby will be bold, wealthy, decisive, confident and lucky. On the other hand, there are some downsides to being born in the glorious Year of the Dragon.

For one, these kids will be hugely disadvantaged. Starting with their birth. Hospitals are all pre-booked (like hotel rooms) and already sold out. All the good (local, Chinese) hospitals are booked. In order to have a prayer at a slot you have to opt for a C-section so they can time your short stay in the much-coveted (and lucrative) hospital bed. This is forcing folks who could afford better care but didn’t get into the system in time to opt for lesser-quality care. This is forcing us to run all over the city like crazy people trying to find a space in a hospital somewhere.

The second disadvantage is the huge amount of competition that these kids will face. Beijing expects an additional 200,000 babies this year over last, which they attribute to migration and the zodiac, much of the former being attributed to new families or expectant families. Already the cost of a nanny has jumped drastically in anticipation of the increase in kids. The price of diapers, milk powder and toys are all jumping up… and not marginally.

When these kids turn 6 the schools will not be equipped to handle the sudden surge over the previous year’s attendance. When they reach high-school age, they will have to compete to get into the good schools. When they hit college, the competition will be more fierce than previous years, or the following few years. Essentially, once every decade one group of supposedly lucky kids will be hugely disadvantaged by increased competition and a lack of resources.

Still, for us we’re watching the chaos with a shrug of the shoulders. This will all make for a hell of a story someday, and of course our kid won’t be raised in China so the disadvantages only extend to him/her insofar as finding a hospital for the birth and the first year’s baby necessities. And the surge in pregnant women in the city is noticeable and, clearly, strange.

We’re excited about our new family member coming this summer and look forward to meeting the little kid and showing him/her around Beijing.

Yours,

Mike & Lauren

Our favorite Cube Abandoner Mike B is turning old. His first grey hairs made an appearance this year, as did sore joints in the cold and a grouchy outlook on the next generation, which he affectionately calls an “undisciplined horde.”

If you’re in Beijing, pop into 12sqm Bar & Cafe on Saturday the 25th to say happy birthday to this world-traveler turned publican.

http://www.twelvesqm.com

Let’s not keep patting ourselves on the back in America and Europe over the end of slavery. Sure, it’s not a major issue in the Western world. We don’t have to look at it, we don’t have to deal with it, and we get Martin Luther King day off work. It seems a universal fact that slavery is bad, and yet… that’s just the opinion of the fat cats at the top of the food chain: us. For over two dozen million people, it’s life as normal.

I’m constantly annoyed that local Chinese, when arguing about human rights, point out that American have no right to take the high road because we owned slaves. I always point out that historically it was a common practice, and that while it wasn’t universally understood to be bad at the time we’ve since eradicated it, (for the most part) in the US and have acknowledged it as a violation against human rights, and a mistake that tarnishes us all. I point out that slavery exists around the globe today, and that many products made in China use child and slave labor conditions. I always get blank stares as a retort.

I did some research to prepare myself better for the next debate and was shocked at the amount of new information out there on the modern state of slavery. There are around 27 million in slavery at this moment.

Still, the fact that it is actually taking place around the globe (the Western world as an exception) doesn’t release all of us of guilt. Slave and child labor are responsible for loads of products we consume in the West. And since we’re always begging for lower prices we’re a part of the problem. Chocolate, coffee, fireworks, shoes, fabrics, raw materials, diamonds, etc… many products are made by slave labor. Electronics are one of the biggest culprits. And I’m typing this from a mac, with a battery life that continues to amaze me. The compound fueling my battery and making it last longer is a rare earth mineral mined in Africa in conditions that are so appalling they startle the mind. And yet companies continue to push for cheaper raw materials to produce higher-functioning products to fill a growing demand for products that perform better, longer, faster and cost less.

Products of Slavery is a website that shows you the number of products from each country manufactured using child or slave labor. The image of the map (top left) is from their website and shows the number of products made using slavery in each country. These are estimates and don’t represent the actual number of products made, since little research has been done in some areas (like Central Asia and much of Central America).

If you want to see your own slavery footprint, check out the aptly named Slavery Footprint website. Due to the number of electronics I have, my number was quite high at 27 salves to produce the number of products I own. It’s an estimated number meant more to draw attention to the products that use slave labor more than an actual number of guilt points or something along the lines of carbon credits.

So, what will you do with this information?  Probably nothing. But it’s good to be aware of what’s going on around you. We’re sheltered from a lot of extremely horrible things by living in the Western world, and that shroud of safety and calm shouldn’t be taken for granted. Supporting ethical businesses, organic, local businesses and recycling electronics are simple ways you can help and make an impact by reducing the slave footprint you make.

Other places you can look for more information:

• Free the Slaves
• Anti-Slavery
• Stop Modern Slavery
• Freedom Center
• … and many, many more resources for information.

The other day Apple was set to release the new iPhone 4S in China. What transpired has hit news stands around the world, so I’ll only summarize briefly. A crowd of around 1-2,000 gathered in Sanlitun at the shiny Apple store the night before the new phone was set to release. In the morning, having waited through another blistering and dangerously cold Beijing night in the depths of winter, there were too many people and not enough phones. The police showed up and announced that the store would not be opening to protect the people, the employees, and the store. Some people were paid to stand in line all night, with no reward if they returned without the coveted phone. Needless to say, the crowd turned mob and pelted the store with eggs in disgust. Here’s a longer version of the story by the NY Times. Apple iPhone sales are now banned in retail outlets and will only be released online. Good move!

This isn’t the first time we’ve had an embarrassing mob problem with Apple in Beijing, and not even the first incident in the last few months. Not long ago two citizens got in a fist fight at an Apple store over the last available iPhone, a fight that resulted in one man being hospitalized and a broken window. As a result of the fight, the Apple store now has more security than the queen’s crowned jewels. These giant, well-trained men stand without blinking as they monitor the interior crowd as well as the exterior. They even have a frisking station, and the number of security cameras has doubled.

Then there was the saga of the fake Apple stores, where some of the employees working the fake stores didn’t even know they were not legit. The fakes were so good, and the shops designed to replicate real Apple stores, that customers, employees and clearly officials were all fooled. Someone wasn’t, however, and the fake stores were quickly shut down. Anyone who has spent time in China knows they will be back, but for the time being with media hype high, the fakes are temporarily on hiatus.

But that isn’t all! When the released the previous iPhone version the line was so massive that it stretched through the Sanlitun village, congesting traffic, resulting in scuffles and fights, and generally disrupting the entire area. So many people went without the phone thanks to migrant workers who were paid to stand in line to acquire the phones in bulk for sub distributors. To this day you’ll find men and women standing directly outside the Apple stores hawking the iPhones they bought on the release date, for an increased fee of course. These peddlers are not only annoying, but it’s hard to watch how desperately they tried to push the phones in the run-up to the 4S release.

What is it about Apple products that drive the Chinese crazy? Sales in China account for 1/6th of all Apple sales, but there are only five stores in the country. They are packed every day of the week with more of a curious mob spending their hard earned cash than the new rich or wealthy. Even those who can’t really afford it save up for months to have the latest gadgets.

But what we learned from the Apple staff is that nearly all the folks who buy the Apple computers and phones have no idea how to use them. The technology is so new in China that they can’t turn them on without detailed instructions. Thus, nearly half of what Apple does in China is training courses for new Apple buyers. This is a brilliant strategy and Apple is truly one of the best success stories in terms of breaking into the Chinese market with huge brand recognition.