A lot of people don’t advise learning to scuba dive in a third world country. It can be a dangerous sport, and saving a few bucks isn’t worth the brain damage if your tank isn’t carrying the right mixture of gasses to sustain you underwater. And then, of course, a myriad of horrors could occur on the bottom that your guide or trainer may not be equipped to deal with. So, before you undertake a project like getting diver certified, make sure your instructor isn’t a wack job. That’s exactly what I did recently with my first every scuba dive with SinoScuba, a great organization in Beijing run by a guy named Steven (image right) from New Jersey.

We were diving in The Blue Zoo aquarium, in the shark tank. It was Shark Week in the USA, and that meant, for Steven, that people were once again thinking about sharks as the killers of the sea. “That’s just not true,” he told me. “Humans are the real killers of the sea, no sharks.” To show people just how safe they are, Steven was launching a dive to introduce people to diving and also to the friendly creatures with the bad rep.

I donned by skin-tight (read: painful) wet suit and slipped on a weight belt. My flippers were translucent and made my feet look blurry and retro. I was taught how to breath in a regulator and, for the first few breaths, had to talk myself into not throwing up. I put on a suction-cup mask, feeling my eyes pull slightly out of the sockets, and then I waddled up to the tank full of sharks and nearly threw up again.

Once in the icy water everything changed. I wasn’t afraid of the beasts, I was curious. As soon as I got in the water I released the air in my buoyancy vest and slipped like a stone down to the bottom of the tank. What was odd was that it was a tank with a tunnel through the middle for spectators, and there I saw hundreds of Chinese school kids banging on the glass and waving. Was I in the zoo or were they?– because they looked blurry and hilarious from underwater. I waved, I did the pharaoh dance, I tried to do Thriller but two problems instantly emerged: A) I don’t know the dance and B) movements underwater are too slow. It looked, I’m sure, like I was suffering a slow seizure. Eventually I turned around and watched the other divers fall to the bottom and try walking around. They looked like baby camels when they try to take their first steps.

Right away we were swarmed with cool fish. Tropical ones like from The Little Mermaid. You can toss sand up in the water and the fish think it’s food and swarm you. Even after about five minutes of this the fish kept trying for the ‘food.’ Dumb little creatures, but good for amusement. We swam around the giant, giant tank. It was so big you could get turned around and lost. There is even a sunken pirate ship in the tank, which was awesome. My first wreak dive!

We swam right up to a shark, a giant grey thing with beady little eyes that never stopped watching us. The instructor showed us how to pet a shark. Basically, the same way you’d pet a cat, but with a million times more fear of random retaliation. He told us before we went underwater that we were 95% safe and while 95% is high, when it comes to sharks sometimes I wonder if it’s high enough. Still, I pet the shark, played with his fin, shook his little fish paw and smiled into my respirator so he’d know I was a nice human. Now I was the dumb fish who didn’t get the hint, I kept playing with the shark long after the curiosity left his eyes and they squinted into little slits. He was either bored or angry. That’s me in the center of the picture above, petting aforementioned shark.

There were about seven big sharks over two meters long in the tank, and one evil-looking shark whose characteristics I didn’t notice past it’s giant freaking teeth. Once you spot something like that underwater you realize just how slow you move. If the teeth-creature turned hungry or angry or bored or whatever other array of human emotions I’m attributing to it, he could easily catch and bite off my arms and legs like a Monty Python sketch before I could even turn around. But, our instructor really knew his stuff and he waved at the fish and then pulled our attention on to what he considered a cooler attraction. It isn’t an easy think to turn around and pay attention to something else when a shark is behind you.

Still, what he was showing us was a giant sea turtle. He grabbed it by the shell and tossed it at me. I caught it like a giant Frisbee and pet the shell (like I said, it’s hard to tell who the dumb one is when playing with fish) and then shook his fin/hand thing and then poked his funny skin and tale and stuff until the instructor waved for me to toss it to the next diver. I felt bad doing all this, but who passes up the chance to poke a giant turtle? Not me.

We swam down to another sleeping shark and pet that one as well. A lot more petting goes on in the oceans than you’d think. For those of you rational enough never to have pet a shark let me describe some odd things that surprised me. 1) the skin is like old human skin, it isn’t like a fish’s. It’s rougher than human skin, but still bendy and taught and with some little hairs or something on it (how lucky you are to have this professional analysis of shark skin!) 2) You can feel their bones, and that reminds you that the rib cage is big enough for you to be curled up inside as you are digested. 3) the shark fin doesn’t look like a good ingredient for soup. I wish people wouldn’t eat it. 4) Shark eyes are tiny, but what’s more crazy is that they disappear when they shut their eyes so you can’t tell where they are. This is the creepiest part since they aren’t where the head indents at all, suddenly an eye just opens where a nose should be. It’s disarming and I think this is where Picasso got some of his first inspiration.

I survived my first dive, and got to the surface with only minor scraped and bruises (all self induced from scraping on coral or from throwing my head back and hitting it against the tank). I’m the person in the back, in the picture above.

Now that I’ve done it once I feel I’m hooked and I can’t wait to dive again!

We’ve been in Beijing for about a year now and that means we’ve met some amazing folks living in China’s capital city. We’re heading east to Qingdao, an old German concession town on the ocean where they make, what else- beer! And not just any beer, but TsingTao, China’s largest beer export. And we’re going in a big, international group!

We’ve never been to this lovely coastal city, but hear that it boasts several impressive beaches along with old-world German architecture and of course a massive brewery. We’re hoping to catch a bit of all of these things in out long weekend there during the beer festival.

The festival has a reputation for getting out of hand…. quickly! So we’re’ excited about that. We’ve booked a whole hotel dorm and we’re heading out on the night train so we can arrive there bright and early to enjoy the beaches before we bath in the beer. Check out these crazy pics of past Qingdao festivals:

These guys look like they started early.

This looks pretty early in the day… and already it’s packed!

Let’s get this party started!

This guy has what looks like a Miller lite in his right hand….. odd.

Competitions keep things lively!

Straw contest. Sweet.

And finally, China’s youth corrupted German style.

Well, this is what we expect to see/experience from August 12-14 in Qingdao, China this year!

The last couple of weeks have been insane. First, it has been raining non-stop in Beijing. This kind of monsoon season hasn’t hit Beijing in years, and it’s effecting everything in the city because it isn’t equipped to deal with that amount of water that quickly. The subways flood, the streets flood, the power goes out (sporadically) and cars just float around like little toys in a bathtub. Below are come pictures of the craziness that ensued in the recent storms. For two weeks non-stop it’s been like this, with a massive night of rain and then three days of drizzle and ‘draining’ and then another flash thunderstorm and more flooding. Check it out:

These pics were collected from around the web. So, where were we in this mess? Well, we were trying to keep our tiny hutong from floating away! The roof leaks, the doors leak, the windows cry water into every room, and water comes up through the drains in the kitchen and bathroom. We were running around tossing valuables (as if we had any!) on to elevated surfaces, blow-drying cats, duct-taping the doors and windows and generally just mopping for two weeks straight. Sorry we didn’t get any great pictures of the actual flooding.

There was one night I was caught in a downpour on the way home from work and it was so useless to even attempt to stay dry that I folded up my umbrella and just walked (waded) through the water. It was cool, the city was deserted and somehow the power didn’t go out so the hutongs were beautiful in the downpour. I just walked around for another half hour in amazement. It was the most peaceful I’ve seen Beijing. Perhaps that’s why it keeps raining.

On an up side, the plant life is loving this!

Summer is in full swing in Beijing, with a heat index that is exhausting and humidity so thick it feels like being water boarded every time you inhale. Amid this heat and humidity there rides a lone foreigner on a rickety, poorly-made, death-trap of a bike. I peddle as fast as the fixed gear crap bike will go to create my own air conditioning. It’s mostly a failed effort. My office is about twenty minutes away by bike, the perfect distance to be totally drenched by the time I arrive. I carry a backpack with my laptop and books– so my back is drenched before I really board the bike and get rolling. Needless to say, my colleagues don’t like sitting near me.

But the heat and humidity aren’t the only smelly annoyances– the biggest is the pollution. It seems the humidity keeps the pollution lower, right at about mouth and nose level. So, when I’m peddling like Lance Armstrong on my way to work I’m basically sucking in pure exhaust and god-knows-what particles from construction and roof-high piles of trash in the hutongs. I’m also inhaling paint fumes, and the smells of burning plastic. Its no small wonder that lung cancer is one of the leading causes of death in China– we’re inhaling pure poision all day long, and I’m inhaling it rapidly (choking on it, really) on my bike.

My bike is another issue all together. For 290RMB (40-ish dollars) it offers a fragile frame that with all my bulging muscles I can squeeze and watch contract. The frame holds two wheels with spokes so thin I’m curious how they hold the rim on. The sit isn’t attached well, so it angles and swivels. The handlebars are not lined up with the body of the bike so that your torso has to be turned slightly while steering– this is nothing compared to the dangers of how weak the peddles are. If you stand up on them to gain speed you might push right through them, crashing into the pavement.

I only bring this up because with the dangerous on the Beijing roads on bike, I’m surprised I’ve lasted this long. I’ve been two minor accidents. One car moving forward decided it wanted to go in the opposite direction instead, and proceeded to back up into oncoming traffic (aka- me). The second accident was when a woman decided to turn left from the right lane on her bike without look at either the cars to her left or the other  bikers (aka- me again). Both times I swerved and the crash was minor, with no injuries except a scrape on my foot when her kickstand scraped over my sandal. No worries. Since my bike only peddles at about 10 mph I think I’m fairly safe.

Staplers and colleagues and cubicles – oh my!

I recently took a full-time (aka: cube) job in Beijing. Yes, I know what you are thinking, “How could you, your whole mission is to Abandon the Cube!” Well my dear like-minded and equally outraged friend, you are right. But every once in a while we need to gain new skills and popping back into the cubicle for a bit to do so is a painful but useful tactic of catching up on the business world (vomit) and seeing what new software is on the market. So, which cube am I residing in currently?

I work at City Weekend Beijing, its a city-specific magazine focusing on events, listings for establishments and basic community stuff. I’m the nightlife and sports editor, which means that through my cube I get to know many of the city’s hippest, coolest (and sometimes, most annoying) people. I’m responsible for making sure all the content for those sections of the magazine is written or outsourced to a freelancer, and that the City Weekend website is up to date for my sections. I’m also supposed to go out to all the major events in nightlife and sports to represent the magazine. This last part is fun, and I sometimes land free tickets to awesome events. I took the position so I could learn about magazines, and hopefully one day put out my own on cube abandoning or traveling. I need to learn how a magazine is run, what software they use, how they source images, how to deal with the public, and much more. I’ve been on the job one month and already I’ve learned a great deal with much more learning on the way, I’m sure.

Still, its hard to wake up every day at the crack of dawn to work on someone else’s vision and dream. Its much more liberating to wake up and work on my own projects, at my own speed. I find that in terms of whats changed in the last two years of cube abanonding that the only real difference is everyone uses their cell phones for work, which I find annoying because now work people can reach me 24/7– an even further foray into my personal life by an occupation. Speaking of, an occupation is meant to be something you do, but the word is the same as when an outside force enters a nation and takes control over every aspect of it, it loses its autonomy essentially. Occupation is the perfect word for a job because they really do try to take over your world and your autonomy. I think this is why so many people define themselves by what they do for work– there is so little free time, so little autonomy left that they realy do become their jobs. Hopefully I won’t end up like that but if I do, please call me out on it!

While all this is happening, Mike is in the States, so he has essentially missed the worst of the transition period where I wake up and hit snooze about thirty times and then run like a maniac around the house feeding the stray adopted cats and throwing on mismatched socks and other clothing. I’ll say this about the magazine, at least I don’t have to wear a suit!

-Post written by Lauren

Getting a visa in China with a company can be a hassle. I spent several months preparing all the documents needed to get my Z visa. To make things a bit simpler, here is a short list of the items you need for your health check, how to get to the fascilitiy, and what to expect.

Items you’ll need:
Passport
2 color passport photos
700RMB (includes fee to mail results to the company)
Time

Location of the facility: #10 DeZheng Rd, Xi’Bei Wang Town, Haidian, Beijing. Tel: 8240-3675. Please see the map below for details:

What to expect:
You’ll walk into the side of the building (follow signs around to the right of the building for the health check) and once inside, there are tables with forms on them to be filled out before you register. Once your forms including health history, passport number and general information are filled out, head to the counter and register. The receptionist will take a snapshot of you and hand you a stack of papers. Now head down the line and pay. RMB 650 when I went (May, 2011). Once you’ve paid you simply look down at the piece of paper and go to every room number on the list, the room is set up in a semi-circle and doors are clearly labeled. Simply walk into each room and get the box signed before you leave. Once all the boxes are signed, head to the form drop-off desk and hand in two color pictures of yourself and your completed form. If you want your results mailed to you or your office tell this receptionist—she’ll give you a slip of paper to give to the desk where they take care of special deliveries.

Items on the actual health check include:
Blood drawing (testing for AIDS, among other things)
Lung X-Ray
Ultrasound
EKG
Eye exam
General check up (ear, mouth, etc)
Weight/height check
Blood pressure

Results:
Your results will be mailed to you (or you can pick them up three days later at the office). If you pass, they will simply give you a copy of the report and give the go ahead for your work visa. You’ll need this document for the visa so don’t lose it! More importantly, the exam is only valid for 6 months so get the test when you are ready to get your visa, and not too early.

In December, Mike bought me a kitten for Christmas. It died shortly after of FPV. We named him Nixon, after Mike’s favorite president. That is Nixon in the image (left).

The vet who checked the kitten for us offered to find us another cat later down the line. In January, we adopted a stray Beijing street cat that the vet’s assistants had been feeding behind the building. She was healthy, about a year old, and in need of a home. So, we took her. She cried and ate a lot the first week, and by the second week she was plump and gorged. By the third week she continued to grow so fat that when we took her in for her check up the vet told us to lay off the food. Below is a picture of Tolkuchka, which is what we named her. Tolkuchka is the name of the famous push push bazaar in Turkmenistan.

Another month passed but she continued to balloon up and eventually we started to wonder if there was something else at work besides an insatiable cat. Sure enough, a few weeks later we took her to the vet again and they confirmed that she was pregnant. She must have been put in that position literally days before we adopted her as she had no signs, even on her blood work, that she was pregnant when we adopted her in January.

February 23rd rolls around and out pop seven kittens. The first one was a beautiful gray, black and white calico with tiny ears. You can see her in the image (left). We named her Kuntakitty. Nothing happened for several hours and then out popped a second, this was an entirely orange ball of fur with giant ears. A few hours later in rapid succession five more orange kittens were born. Sadly, one died immediately and we buried him under a tree in our hutong courtyard. The remaining six kittens were healthy, large and feeding regularly. You can see them to the right, sleeping a few hours after birth.

For the first three weeks the kittens didn’t do much but sleep and feed. In our tiny livingroom, we put a blanket over the coffee table and stuffed the area under it with blankets and hot water pouches to give the animals warmth in the cold hutong.

In the image below they are twelve days old and still sleeping in the nest under the coffee table. They stayed there for about the first month. Eventually, they outgrew the tiny living room and we moved them into the bedroom, which had fewer things for them to fall off of and eat.

They grew well for a while, in the image below they are one month old.

In the image below they are two months old. About two weeks after the picture below we noticed two of the kittens had stopped eating dry food, feeding and playing. They generally didn’t do a lot. The two sick kittens included the gray one (Kuntakitty) and the runt (Tiny Bubbles). In the image above they are the two on the top right.

I took them into the vet and they did a blood test that revealed the two kittens had VPF, the same virus that killed Nixon a few months earlier. This was a shock because we sprayed down our entire home with virus killer, we kept all the kittens in a clean room, and we were extremely careful about contact with the kittens. Apparently the virus is easily spread with minimal contact so anyone who was outside and came into the kitten room could have spread the disease.

The vet instantly put the two kittens on a regiment of treatment designed to help their bodies fight of the virus. They have to be taken to the vet every day for three hours a day for an IV drip of nutrients and vitamins, an anti-coagulate shot, antibiotic, anti-virus, enzyme booster, medicine to keep them from vomiting, shots to keep them energetic, shots to increase appetite… the list goes on. These two kittens are poked and prodded for three hours a day and then the rest of the time they sleep on heated pillows and try to fight of the sickness. Today is their fourth treatment and another round of blood work to see how they are progressing and if their white blood cell count is up.

Just a note on costs. If this were anywhere else but China this would be impossible for us to do, but as it is we spend about $30 US a day on this treatment and the vets are great. They are friendly, care about the animals and do their best to keep them comfortable and healthy.

In the image (right) you see some of the kittens a few days ago. Most of these kittens have been adopted. We put up a post on The Beijinger and had a lot of happy responses. A Japanese woman and her French husband took the kitten we called Derp. They were so adorable with him. A British woman and her boyfriend took a girl and boy kitten home the following day. The long-haired beast we call Gremlin is still with us. And Kuntakitty (which was renamed Pattie by the German girl who will adopt her) and Tiny Bubbles (the runt) are still at the house with Tolkuchka. So, we still have four at home. Two healthy and two sick ones. People are interested in adopting Gremlin and Tiny Bubbles, so once they are ready to leave they’ll be out the door as well, and of course our happy German can’t wait to have Pattie/Kuntakitty.

This has been a hard five months of cat problems, and I never imagined there could be so many problems. We’ll update you later with the kitty news, but for now– this is what we’ve been up to for the past five months!

You can see more pictures of the kittens in the photo album.

Spring has finally arrived in Beijing, and after a long winter in a Chinese siheyuan (a hutong home) we’re ready for the fine weather and fresh air that spring promises to bring. Pictures of Beijing were recently loaded on our flickr page and available in the gallery.

And with the new season, new adventures!

Lauren recently began working with a magazine called Hops Quarterly China. She’ll be building their website and acting as the web editor for the forseable future. Once the site launches, we’ll link to it so you can see her work. She is happy to have found a way into the magazine industry, and happier still that it involves her favorite beverage.

She has also been writing for various publications around Beijing. Check it out on her portfolio website. It is a work in progress and she hopes to expand her portfolio substantially in 2011 while completing work on this mysterious book that no one seems to be able to preview.

Mike is busy sourcing and doing various jobs on the side of his primary editing position with a Chinese mega company. He is learning Chinese, and his beard has grown to Hemingway proportions. Meanwhile, with the guitar he acquired as a Christmas gift, he is busy learning new songs and driving the neighbors mad. He has gained a reputation in Beijing as the man in flannel and hiking boots, a homage he pays to his one true love– Michigan.

The cat they adopted in December was pregnant. Surprise! Even the vet didn’t notice as she must have only recently been put in that condition when they adopted her. She birthed six kittens two days before Mike’s birthday on the 23rd of February, and they are now several months old and taking over the entire hutong. They will all be given away over the coming weeks, and hopefully the two will get their sanity restored once the meowing stops. There are, embarrassingly enough, dozens of pictures of the furry beasts in the photo album.

Mike will be heading to the States for a month to see family and friends, and to clean all the winter pollution out of his lungs. He is looking forward to his mother’s home cooking and recently has been raving to anyone who will listen about the casseroles that are far superior in the mid-west than any other spot on the planet.

We hope to keep Abandon the Cube better updated in the future as our China Adventure continues. We excel at avoiding the cubicle, Lauren as a freelance writer and Mike as a part timer and contractor. This spring we expect to travel abroad several times as well as here in China, and we continue to explore the amazing city of Beijing as we meet new people and find new hidden gems around the city.

New stuff is happening on the website as well! We’re rolling out new guide pages and, hopefully later this spring, moving the entire website over to a new template with more interactive features, and an easier usability. Check back for new blogs (weekly now rather than every other day) and new pages, guides and features. We hope to keep ATC alive and well, and more than that we hope to see it grow and take on a life of its own as more people decide to abandon their cubicles to travel and live abroad.

All the best, and happy Spring from the cube abandoners in Beijing.

Lauren & Mike

Many of our readers have asked us what the impact of the tsunami and earthquake were on China. The simple answer is that there was little to no impact, the USA felt more than China did, as the wave rebounded to the West Coast and killed several Americans. In China, we did not feel the earthquake or hear anything about the horrible tragedy until after it occurred. Nearly 300 Chinese are missing in Japan, mostly businessmen, though this doesn’t mean they were casualties of the tsunami. Some 22,000 Chinese living in Japan have been contacted and confirmed alive.

China has been affected economically. The Asian markets have taken a dive, understandably, upon concerns that the Japan indexes could bring down the entire region. This is likely to be a short-term effect because the rebuilding that will need to occur in Japan will actually boost its economy once things return to a state of semi normalcy. Obviously a great deal was lost in Japan, and the healing process will take a long time, but on the quakes economic impact in China we can say that the dip in the markets will be short lived.

All flights from Air China to Tokyo have been canceled (as of March 16th) and the Chinese government has stepped up radiation monitoring on the coast. Heavy metal suppliers and other supply companies in Japan have shut their doors temporarily, leaving the global manufacturing chain in a frenzy. With a great deal of the worlds supplies coming out of Japan, its to be expected that this crisis will have a medium-term affect on the global economy.

More than a sudden explosion with an initial gust of radiated air, the Chinese are concerned about lingering affects, like radiation in their plants, vegetables and water table. This causes cancers, especially cancers that fetuses are susceptible to. With the one child policy, this is a serious issue that may cause many to wait or hold off on pregnancies until a more suitable and healthy time. Many in China fear the water table being severely damaged as radiation clings to moisture and is deposited (steam to rain to ocean) back into the system. Milk is especially prone to contamination, and with the 2008 melamine milk crisis it seems China’s dairy industry will be under the microscope yet again.

On the upside, Japan and China have been at odds and anyone who has visited either region can testify to the hostility between the nation’s citizens over events related to WWII and Japan’s invasion of China. With the devastation in Japan, the Chinese have sent an emergency response team to help pull out victims and offer immediate care to those who need it. They sent a plane on Monday (14th March) filled with blankets, tents and other emergency supplies that the Chinese know first hand from the Chengdu earthquake of 2008 will be in high demand and short supply. The Chinese military has offered to arrive on site to help set up relief camps and begin to remove rubble, this puts a new friendly face on the People’s Liberation Army for many. Cash has also been promised, nearly $5 million to be exact, an impressive amount. This unification during crisis bodes well for future economic and political talks, and although it is a horrible tragedy if it brings these two giant Asian countries together there is some good in this.

Is polygamy coming to China? Thats what some mistresses in the mainland are calling for after the failed ‘Festival of Mistresses’ on March 3 at 3:30 in China, 2011. The number three, signifying the third woman in a relationship, was intentional. But, how can mistresses elevate their status and shed what they claim is an unfair image while continuing to operate forums and websites on how to shake more money out of their married lover?

The hottest news in China at present, the Festival of Mistresses has highlighted the addiction many elites have to wanting it all. Mistresses are common, so common in fact that if they unionized they would control a fair amount of the luxury market in China.

The Huffington Post claims that in 2008 a full one third of the luxury market in China was fueled by these mistresses, a claim that in no small part shows the power these women have. They have organized themselves on forums and websites across the net and even have revenge systems in place so that if a lover wrongs or leaves a mistress the whole group retaliates.

As one blogger creatively noted, “Chinese mistresses are not taking it lying down anymore” a clever pun on the women’s hopes at bringing their relationships into the open. Although they would be unable to continue their occupation as a mistress once exposed (at east with multiple men or once one married man moves on), their could be come legal protection for women who register as mistresses to influential men.

Although plural marriages were common in China in the past, the concubine system fell apart during hard times when it was impossible for one man to support multiple wives. It was outlawed when the communists came to power in 1949. But, in the nearly 30 years of market reforms the practice has resurfaced, and some provinces are addressing it severely.

The Party in China has called for members not to take mistresses or indulge overly in a luxurious lifestyle. This to bolster morality in the party, according to the memo. Several cadres have already been fired once exposed by their so-called ‘second wives.’ In recent years a registrations process has become legalized so that a man with a constant mistress must register the relationship as corruption would result if it were kept secret. This is unlikely to get any real support or have any real controlling power as men have multiple mistresses and are unlikely to register any of them, especially since The Party has denounced the practice.

This whole saga can’t end well. It reminds me of the 2009 incident in which a man with multiple mistresses was in financial insecurity and decided to have a run off contest to keep only one. The first woman voted off was so distraught he drove off a cliff with the lover and other mistresses inside the car. Tragedy is what the end result of this lifestyle is, these women are only useful when they are young and the economy is good. This puts them in a dangerous and temporary position. Still, they choose this path instead of legitimate work.

So, where could this issue go from here? Its unlikely polygamy will become legal in China. For starters, the one-child policy makes polygamy unfair. If a single man marries multiple women and has a single child by each of them, he could be depriving other men the wives they would need to carry on their line. On a base level, money would be the thing that ensures one family name continues and not another. On a secondary level, it is unrealistic that the traditional Chinese lifestyle and norms could be overcome and polygamy accepted in China, making these arrangements the targets for rights groups, an issue China hardly wants on the international zeitgeist considering other rights issues. Finally, it is unlikely that primary wives would every allow mistresses any legal rights, which would in turn limit their own power.

It all remains to be seen, but in the short-term it is likely to be a hot topic in China until something else comes along to sweep this under the media’s radar until they soon forget it exists at all.

As many of you know, we moved into a Beijing hutong– a traditional single-story home in a traditional maze of houses that makes up a close-knit community. Anyways, its been a bumpy and rewarding ride. I recently painted the interior of the hutong, spending a bit of my own cash to fix up the place. Here are some before and after pictures, which I know everyone loves.

The Office:

Before

Middle

After

The Living Room:

Before

After (same view)

Bedroom:

Before

After

Anyways, life in a hutong has been a bit of a rewarding challenge:

The upside:

• Culturally relevant
• Close to Beijing’s unique culture
• Large and relatively affordable

The downside:

• Vacant and dismissive landlord
• Shoddy construction, ongoing problems
• Expensive utilities

Many of the reasons we decided to live in a hutong include the upsides listed above, but more importantly, the hutong homes in Beijing are so unique and beautiful that they really inspire a sense of living in another time. You can walk through the hutong alleyways at night, when the streets are void of sweet potato salesmen, street sweepers and thousands of meandering elderly folks, and it feels like you have time warped back a generation. Thats the number one reason we live in a hutong, the sense of time lapse and the feeling of being 100% in Beijing, and nowhere else.

In 2008 we lived in Shanghai and had the amazing opportunity to stay in the city over the Spring Festival (the Chinese lunar New Year). Since so many migrant workers and others had fled the city for the holiday (which is akin to Thanksgiving where everyone goes to their home state for the festivities) we thought nothing big would happen. It was freezing, it was deserted, and we didn’t expect much.

In the end, nearly ever remaining resident in the city came outside at midnight to blow something up. There were fireworks covering every inch of the sky! Old ladies wheeled themselves outside in their wheelchairs to light off fireworks and then, giggling, rolled back inside. You could buy fireworks at the 7/11, you could buy them from old ladies with carts full, they were everywhere. At midnight on the first day of the new year, the city erupted and it seemed to linger in a state of haze and loud bangs for several days.

Now its the start of the Spring Festival 2011 and we are in Beijing. It is the year of the rabbit, and thus a fortuitous year for many. The festivities were to start on midnight of the 2nd of February, 2011. We had the same concerns as we did in Shanghai several years ago as we watched nearly every shop around our hutong home put up shutters and hang signs saying “will return on the 7th.” The city was growing empty, like the set of a zombie movie. The once busy streets were now barren save for a few random cars and the poor bus drivers, whose massive slug-like machines trolled the streets in vain for people.

It was hard to find fireworks in Beijing, at least compared to Shanghai where they were everywhere. Now there were well maintained booths with knowledgeable sales staff. Prices were printed on the fireworks and fire extinguishers lined the sidewalks behind the stalls. Something massive had changed since the haphazard array in 2008. We bought a bag full of random fireworks and, when the second of February arrived, we strolled down deserted streets with a lighter in one hand and a bag of fun in the other.

We wandered for a while, a small group of us with our bags of fun, before settling on Hou Hai Lake as our destination of choice. We set off a few simple fireworks with limited competition. The police watched but didn’t say anything, just leaning on their police cars watching the fireworks against the dark sky. At midnight, the story changed entirely. The city erupted in a magnanimous and otherworldly explosion that shook water out of the lake like nudging a cup of coffee too hard. Fireworks exploded from every corner of vision, and the booms were so close together that it was essential one giant BOOM for half an hour. We set off our remaining fireworks and walked around the lake, dodging fountains of fire, escalating rockets and other projectiles at high speeds. We saw a few small fires break out as piles of debris started to reach ankle level.

Around 1:00am we headed towards home on foot. Walking down the main street we passed a restaurant that must have had a very handsome year because they had a pile of debris that reached up to the doorway. The staff were pulling out huge boxes and stringing them together. For half an hour we watched with half a hundred others as they lit box after box of fireworks. These boxes cost around one hundred USD each and contain about 30-45 individual pipes and fireworks that, in the USA, would be large enough for a city-wide display. They went through about 20 boxes while we were there, and then they draped strings of smaller fireworks over ropes strung between trees and lit them simultaneously, creating so many flashes it felt like we were inside a video game.

This year I was prepared. In 2008 I had only my point and shoot. This time I didn’t bother with the camera at all but brought out the big guns- the video camera. I walked around and, by 2:00am, I had almost 45 minutes of fireworks shows on tape, including fireworks bouncing off cars, hitting apartment complexes and ricocheting off extremely old and valuable cultural structures.The video here is not mine, which I haven’t uploaded yet, but are a prime example of what we experienced.

The fireworks and shows will go from the 2nd of February at midnight until the middle of February, and as I type this, the explosions have not diminished by much.

From the most populated country in the world plans to build a mega city to house some 42 million doesn’t seem that surprising. China is already home to the largest port and biggest city (Shanghai) as well as home to the 1/5th of the world’s population. Costing 2 trillion yuan, the project to merge 9 smaller cities around the Pearl River Delta would cause water, communication and transportation networks to merge. Urban planners think the 150 projects in the planning stages to merge the cities will, ultimately, reduce pollution, drive down prices and increase resident happiness due to better transportation, lower prices and jobs.

The problem is, most infrastructure gigs are given to migrant workers. Case and point- the subway going in near my house. They quickly (and quietly) threw up a three story shack one day in an empty lot. A few days later they installed power, a day later a busload of folks from the countryside began to toss their tiny bags of belongings into tiny bunks before tightening worn out belts and starting up the construction equipment. The Beijing subway may expand the jobs market in Beijing eventually when it hires drivers, ticket sales and security, but right now the new line under construction is only bringing more workers into the city.

Mega cities may be an increasing thing in the future. Check out the work on green mega cities that was featured in Popular Science. This work was done by PopSci.com and features plans for the city as well as the good and bad news about population increases and mega centers of society. This cool city has alge farms, sidewalks that gather energy from footfalls, wind turbines powered by gusts from passing highway cars, and much more. Its really cool and the towered farms are something that could be constructed now. Take a few minutes to watch the demo slide-show that explains all the unique features of these preplanned cities using the link above.

Like the mega city plan (image right) the lillypad design by Vincent Callebaut,  tries to build on the green concept. They are floating cities that look like lilly pads, hence the name. It free floats around the gulf stream or can be anchored to near shore. Each city holds 50,000 people and is entirely self sufficient as well as eco-friendly. It was created to hold climate refuges, and its floating design makes it possible for humans to exist in what Callebaut seems to think will be a world where land is scarce. The designs are cool, and the imagery is amazing. Check it out using the link above.

I think it would be amazing if China were to use this opportunity to make a green mega city, or to start plans on a massive green city elsewhere in China. With such a massive population, these cities may be extremely useful in China, and open up more land for farming around the cities.

I live in China. I’m an American. You’d be surprised at the number one question people ask me from back home. Simply put, they ask why China owns America’s debt, when they will call it in, and why the Chinese are buying up property in the USA. They are fearful of what China will do, and frankly they are angry that a foreign entity owns US debt. I can empathize with these fears, but the reality of the situation is that the US is in a decent stance and the issue of who owns its debt is minor compared to answer the question of why we raked up such a debt in the first place.

Although we don’t usually get into politics at ATC, I feel inclined to answer the most common question we get in a public way.

Of the nearly $14 trillion the US has in debt, China owns roughly 7%. This is not a massive amount when held in light of the grand total, but it does exceed some $900 billion USD. China could, hypothetically, call in this debt and cause massive trauma to the US economy. Not so much because of what the amount would mean to the government coffers, but for the effect it would have on the stock market. The ultimate question is whether China will randomly call in this debt. The answer (in my opinion) is no.

They wont call it in because the Chinese economy is balanced precariously against the US economy. Should they call in the debt and the US economy start to collapse (or even suffer a recession of any severity) the Chinese economy would suffer because fewer Chinese goods would be purchased in the US (not out of principle, but because consumer spending would decrease amid depression fears). Looking at China’s trade partners  (source:chart below) in recent years shows how dependent China is on the USA for trade. A suffering US economy does not benefit the Chinese economy. It is in their best interest to help rather than hurt, at least at present.

The average Chinese perspective on this is contradictory to what many in the USA assume. While the Chinese are holding the debt, the US has already spent that money on tangible items. For example, the US (hypothetically) used that money to build new jets or expand defenses. Meanwhile, the Chinese have nothing to show for that money. They see the US as benefiting by taking the loan because they increased their worth in a tangible manner while the Chinese only increased their bargaining power by $900 billion USD. Since the two economies are dependent on each other this bargaining power is diminished because no real political threat has weight against the economy and the US tangible military is still formidable while the Chinese military continues to expand. Strategically, its unsure who comes out ahead in this deal. This is the opinion I hear time and again from Chinese locals in Shanghai and Beijing.

Finally, China would not have bought the debt if they thought it was a bad investment. Christina Larson, of the New America Foundation, told the associated press: “China needs a place to park its capital and there’s no place that’s as stable, easy to purchase and feel safe in as the United States.” That shows a certain confidence in the US economy. The US dollar is still used internationally and as such remains an important global asset. Buying the debt now means interest payments to the Chinese government from what they perceive to be an extremely wealthy country, despite the debt clock.

In short, the real problem with the debt isn’t who owns it but why it exists at all and how to get rid of it. Instead of the media raising fears about China’s intentions (as in image, left) they should start asking politicians what they plan to do about decreasing our debt. Running stories on the Chinese intent seems like poor journalism when you look at the actual numbers, and it is probably aimed at capitalizing on American fears to sell more papers or increase viewership and make more ad revenue. Its hard to answer the questions of how we are going to get out of debt and how to set up our system so as not to fall back into debt again. Then we won’t be selling $900 billion to any entity, foreign or domestic. This is what the journalist should focus on. Meanwhile, you can stop asking when the Chinese are going to call in the debt and what that will mean to the economy, it isn’t likely to happen.

Recently, CNN ran an article asking the question, “Should You Look for Work in China.” The article follows the story of two Texan-Americans, the Summer family, who decide to head to China for high tech jobs. It goes on to highlight that the number of Americans working and living abroad has increased significantly in recent years with a noticeable spike in 2010.

What I find interesting about this article from CNN is that they are missing the point. Americans are leaving the US because they have to. We left because we couldn’t find reasonable jobs. We could barely make ends meet working non-stop and living in the world’s smallest apartment. With insurance, medical bills, groceries, rent, internet and car payments, gas, phone, etc it was just too much to be met with two entry-level positions. And of course college loans had to be taken into consideration! Its like a massive trap designed from your childhood on so that you follow a certain outline and end up in college, and then of course in debt. Once in debt you have to work, you have no other choice! You have loans now. And then you trudge off to work to pay the loans but you have to have an apartment to live in, so now you have two payments. You have to have a means of transportation since there are no buses. Now you have three payments. If you are going to drive you need insurance. If you are going to work, they want you to have health insurance. You keep digging yourself into a ditch of debt that you can hardly pay off even working 5 days a week, 8 hours a day! And what time does that leave you for your own personal life?– a few hours at night spent exhausted while you sort bills and pull out your hair. No thank you! THATS why we left the US. There are not jobs that can support the basic needs of the American lifestyle. And it wasn’t even a life of luxury, as my friends and family can attest.

Abroad, you can live for cheaper. We get jobs that pay slightly less than in the US, but I’m not stuck paying car insurance, health insurance or any of the other things that slowly steal every pay check. I pay for a pay-as-you-go cell phone instead of a cut-throat Verizon contract that takes a Supreme court ruling to get out of. I avoid insurance payments because I’m less stressed and thus healthier and health care (barring major catastrophe) is more affordable. I use public transportation that cost less than 30 cents a ride. In short, I’m able to pay down my loans, save up some money and still build up a resume. Perhaps now you understand why I don’t like the expats who come over begrudgingly and complain about missing the benefits of America.

I love my country, and I’m a patriot, but I’m also a realist. Americans are leaving the country to find work elsewhere and this is a major sign that things have gotten out of control. It isn’t just me over here trying to make a better life for myself, its all of my expat friends who are doing likewise and thriving where they didn’t have the opportunity back home. They have time, like I do, for hobbies and self-cultivation. They have time, in short, to live life and not tread water just trying to get by. So, ‘Should you Look for Work in China?”– you should look for work wherever it is on the planet that will afford you the opportunity to pursue happiness instead of just survive. After all, that’s one of the three main staples of the American promise- Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.

Today, I was walking down Nanluoguxiang when a women in a new model Audi decided to take a short cut out of one of the many side alleyways and turned south on Nanluoguxiang, which is a one-way road going north. She pushed her fist against the horn and honked without letting up as she forced her way through the thick, Saturday traffic of pedestrians. A group of youths of about 10-14 years old were blocking her path unintentionally. She didn’t slow down at all, but pushed the corner nose of her car into the group. They were trapped between the walls, a massive tree, several bicycles and her car with nowhere to go to get out of her way. Meanwhile, she kept honking. I managed to duck out of the way of the Audi and the smug woman inside it, thought the car grazed my hip. A boy in the pack of youths was not as lucky.

She pushed the boys like I’ve seen Mongolian herders do with their motorcycles to goats. She pushed them against the wall, some nearly falling over, with her car. One boy didn’t manage to get out of the way entirely and his foot was caught under her front right tire. He yelped, but since he was a young boy with his friends, he tried to hide his pain. I slapped the back of the Audi and yelled at the woman, who couldn’t hear me over the sound of her constant honking. An oncoming car started honking in repetition, drowning out the boy, my slapping her trunk, and the potato salesman around the corner who was being forced to pack up his stall and relocate it so she could squeeze her car the wrong way past oncoming traffic.

After a moment, she seemed to be aware that the boy’s foot was trapped. She starred at him and rolled the car slowly forward. When the boy doubled over and touched his foot she sped up, the back of the car nearly clocking the book in the head for good measure. He winced and tried to hide his pain from his buddies. He straightened up and limped away with them, not even yelling at the woman or jotting down her license plate. The boys pushed against the wall simply fanned back out and continued strolling down the street, the boy trying to keep up beside them.

Now, I was standing as close to all of this as a person could be without being one of the main players in the drama. I was shocked that the woman, about 50 with too much hair spray and a pimple-scarred complexion, hit the boys, ran over one’s foot and then drove off. She never once let off the horn. Now, is this a cultural difference that I simply don’t understand or is this woman a modern-day monster? I’m inclined to think that she ought to have been forced to take the boy to the hospital for an X-ray, or else to have apologized or received a fine for driving down a one-way the wrong direction. Instead, she probably felt happy to have made it home sooner using her nifty, illegal short cut. I’m inclined to think that I should have opened the driver’s door and pulled the women into the street to apologize to the poor boy, though that is also rude…

Sometimes I see stuff like this in China and I’m confused about how to react. Its true that I don’t and probably never will understand the culture and people entirely, and that holding a different people to my own moral and ethical standards isn’t exactly logical, but then I think there has to be a line where most human beings on the planet would agree that something was either good or bad. Running over a boy’s foot and hitting a whole group of them intentionally to save a few moments time seems to fall on the bad side.

All of this would bother me much less if someone else on the street had reacted at all. The potato salesman saw it all and did nothing but move his cart obediently away from the car’s honking. The other driver saw the whole thing, the pack of youths obviously saw it, and there was a middle-aged Chinese man in a business suit standing next to me with an amused look on his face watching me hit the trunk of the car. Had any one of them done anything I might have thought wow, this is horrible but at least the woman is an isolated case but since, yet again, no one reacted or came to the boy’s aid, I’m left thinking this was a small incident where everyone silently agreed that it wasn’t a big deal.

A few years ago in Shanghai I saw two women in a fist fight on the street over the price of one woman’s oranges and her not giving the appropriate change (so the other claimed) to the buyer. A group of over 50 quickly crowded around and watched them fight, not one person intervening.

Less than a month ago in Beijing I saw a woman on a scooter hit a woman on a bike. The woman on the bike hit the pavement and didn’t move. She was face down and we thought the worst. More importantly, a bus was coming and she was right in its path. We were down and across the street and couldn’t have reached her in time to stop the bus. A group of about seven people stopped to watch the disaster unfold, one of them was a police officer on his motorcycle. In the end, the bus saw her and swerved out of the way, the cop told the woman to get up and a passer by explained to us that in China, people act more injured then they are to try to get big money out of the people who injure them. In the end, she probably got nothing.

I once heard a rumor in China that if you were hit by a car you needed to roll out of the way because the driver is liable for medical costs but if you die, he isn’t liable at all. You often hear people talking about drivers hitting someone and then backing up to finish them off. And while these were all rumors, recently there was a media frenzy when a man in an expensive car backed over a small child (story here). He got out, saw the child, backed over him again (for a grand total of four full times hitting the child) and killed him and then drove off. The whole thing was caught on camera.

What does all this have in common?– basically I don’t understand the culture of hit-and-run, or hit-backup-hit again-and-run, and witnessing all of these examples personally makes me realize that it must happen non-stop around the city. So, is this a cultural difference I don’t understand or is this just rude and totally uncalled for?

Beijing has many amazing attractions. The Great Wall is a short ride away, the Forbidden City is at the epicenter, the entire city is flush with history and culture. One of the things that Beijing has that many other cities are lacking in China is a survival of the traditional hutong homes. The web of hutong homes are a maze of homes that take up square miles and weave around in all directions. Some of the alleyways serving the hutong homes are delightful cultural must-see locations. The main arteries contain shops to serve the hutong, public bathrooms and small restaurants. In fancier hutong communities, these alleys evolved into pleasant streets with spas, cafes and bars, and small boutique shops. Our favorite hutong community is served by Nanluoguxiang, or South Luogu Alley.

Nanluoguxiang is a beautiful street. There are dozens of great little bars and restaurants along the north-south road that attract tourists, locals and resident expats including ourselves. The Pass-by Bar and Cafe is one such place– it is a traditional hutong establishment with a courtyard that is windowed in and heated. The favorite– 15rmb french toast! Bingo!

Another adorable place we enjoy is Ned’s, referring to New Kelly. As you could guess the bar is owned by an Australian. Its a double-decker hutong that is famous for serving a giant mug of rum and coke for 50rmb. The company is great and the atmosphere low-key and fun.

You’ll also find photo galleries, full-out restaurants and cafes, and little shops. At night, the street lamps illuminate a classic hutong view that no trip to Beijing is complete without witnessing. Hou Hai Lake is nearby, and Jingshan Park, north of the Forbidden City, is within walking distance, as is Bei Hai Park. In short, located centrally in Beijing, it is a great little hutong to explore, photograph and enjoy.

Happy New Year! With the new year comes a barrage of newly affirmed goals and resolutions. Living in China isn’t always easy, there are sundry problems, including the fact that our landlord refuses to fix anything broken in our hutong apartment, which is basically everything.  I resolved to deal with the problems of living abroad in a new way in 2011. It can be frustrating and down right infuriating to deal with some people, and our landlord is definitely one of them.  Trying to understand what makes some people tick is like trying to figure out that annoying multi-colored cube puzzle. In short, in the new year I resolved to deal with these messes in a more mature way. This is a tall order since throwing internal mental tantrums was somewhat therapeutic.

Changing how you deal with something that bothers you isn’t an easy feat. Going about doing something like that doesn’t really have a how-to guide. In short, this might be a long year.

In mush happier news– 2011 brought an important new addition. We now have a Beijing stray cat living in our house. We went to the local vet and asked if they had any news about cats who needed a good home. In fact, they’d keep their eye out, they informed us. A few days later they called with news of a kitten. We went in to see her, she wasn’t exactly a kitten, but a 6-month old, fully grown cat. She stayed at the vet a week while her shots took effect and her de-worming and flea medication kicked in. We brought her home a few days ago and although nearly everything in the apartment is broken we hardly notice as frequently because we’re so happy to have the cat. We named her Tolkuchka.

Dear Friends, Family, Fellow Travelers, and Random Readers,

Merry Christmas from Beijing, China!

We’re thrilled to be celebrating Christmas from the Middle Kingdom this year. Its a different experience than Christmas back home. For starters, Santa is only featured in a few select Western shopping centers, and his presence isn’t really felt in Beijing. There are no lights on the houses, or little Christmas trees or candles in our neighbor’s windows. Christmas carols are not heard in shops or homes. There are no sales on egg nog. There is no egg nog.

Despite all this, Beijing is in a festive mood. The weather has changed and its suddenly freezing (literally). Hou Hai Lake already has its first firm layer of ice, and people will be skating on it soon. The wildlife (what little there was in the city) has receded into nooks and crannies, and people walk around with scarves pulled up to their eyes and hats pulled down to their noses. I imagine they are all smiling under their winter wear and wishing me Merry Christmas with their desperate, freezing eyes.

There are some holiday events going on in Beijing this year, but mostly they are centered around food and wine, and have little to do with the actual holiday. Luckily for us, family will be visiting our little hutong home and bringing the holiday spirit with them. We have a mini Christmas tree that we’ll be stringing up popcorn on, and we’ve purchased a copy of It’s a Wonderful Life. We’re making our own Christmas fun this year!

The Chinese don’t celebrate the New Year on the 1st. Chinese New Year is coming up (Feb 3rd) and everything will be festive and lively then. It is the single most exciting and celebrated holiday in Asia (and thus, on the planet probably). Fireworks explode from everywhere for several days on end. Two years ago in Shanghai, there were so many fireworks people were throwing them out high-rise windows and one bounced off our taxi, skidding to a stop outside the window and exploded with a shower over the entire car. Its something you can only understand by experiencing, and we’re looking forward to it with fire extinguishers at the ready.

For now, we’re signing off for the remainder of 2010 and wishing you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! We’ll resume updating Abandon the Cube with the dawn of the new year. All our best wishes to you and yours and a happy start to 2011!

Sincerely,

Abandon the Cube

We recently did a visa run. As with many people who live in China, we have to leave the country every 60 or 90 days to reactivate our 1-year visas. We recently decided to try the Beijing-Erlian visa run rather than the traditional Beijing to Hong Kong run. Here are a few details on how to make your visa run a quick success:

1) There are loads of buses that go to Erlian, you can leave from any one of the stations, and it is easy to call ahead of time if you speak even a little Chinese to ensure the buses leave on your scheduled day. Here are the Beijing Long Distance Bus Options.Or, a few other options on how to get to Mongolia.

2) Once you arrive (and if you take the bus you’ll arrive at 3 or 4:00am) you may need to stay at a hotel for a few hours until the border opens. It opens at 8:00am. If you arrive at the bus station you can easily find a driver to take you to a local hotel. Bargain, but you should be able to get the ride and the hotel for under $12 USD. Prices should be in Chinese. The hotels are not great, ours was heated by a stove and had wooden beds and a squat hallway toilet, but we only stayed a few hours and it was much-needed rest after 11 hours on a sleeper bus.

3) Crossing the border takes patience. You have to get a cab to the gate. Make sure they use the meter, as they’ll try to charge triple what the meter would have. The cab drops you off at the border, then you have to negotiate with a jeep driver to take you across the no-man’s-land to the actual Chinese immigration building. No walking allowed!

4) You use the same jeep to get all the way to the Mongolian immigration side and then through that to the first town across the Mongolian border. Your jeep should cost about 50RMB or less. We negotiated hard and paid only 30RMB, but we also went all out and even included one of the Chinese border guards, who was extremely helpful.

5) If you want, you can easily get your jeep driver to drop you off at the city square, otherwise you can simply turn around without leaving the Mongolian border zone and negotiate with a new jeep driver to take you back to the Chinese side. Getting back to the Chinese side is cheaper and easier as most Jeep drivers have limited loads.

6) Once back in Erlian, you can take a cab from the bus station in Erliain to Beijing for around 200RMB a person. The bus is 200RMB as well, so if you want to save some time, the cab ride is 7 hours while the bus ride is a grueling 11. I prefer the bus as its a sleeper unit so you can relax, sleep and even read.

7) Your visa will need to be registered once you get back to China. Good luck!

We recently signed a one year lease on a local hutong home called a ping’an. A hutong is a cultural community of homes in the traditional style, single-level and with minimal amenities. We decided that if we were going to live in China we should experience life like a local, and thus we moved into a hutong.

Our first impressions are complex. We find that nearly everything in the ping’an is broken. The landlord assures us these will be fixed or replaced soon. We’re not bothered by this as we expect things to take more time in the hutongs.

Second, we find the Chinese style bathroom to be something we expect will take some time to get used to. The bathroom is a tiled room about the size of a closet. It has a sink, western toilet and ceramic mop bucket under the sink. The sink has no pipe, but drains free-fall into the ceramic bucket underneath which then drains into a hole in the floor. The shower is simple a showerhead on the wall, with no doors or compartment. This means that whenever you shower the entire bathroom gets soaking wet. A drain in the middle of the floor empties the shower water. Since the whole room is the shower, you can’t store anything in the bathroom, and even putting the toilet paper somewhere dry has become impossible. We’re trying to come up with a smart method to deal with this style bathroom. My idea—a wooden sauna floor so the water drains under it yet you and walk in without getting your shoes wet and tracking water throughout the house. The temporary solution—slippers for the bathroom only that you put on anytime you go in. We’ll come up with something to make this workable and enjoyable!

Living in the hutong means living in close, close proximity to a lot of people. Although we haven’t formally met our neighbors, everyone knows foreigners live here. Case and point, when I came home from the teahouse this morning where I do my internet stuff, the police were at the ping’an telling me my neighbors reported that I had failed to register as a foreigner living there. (You have 24 hours to register with the police as a foreigner living or staying in China, I had about 3 hours left on this clock when the police arrived). They were extremely polite and I told them I’d register that day, which I did. However, I think its amusing that so many people already know we are here and keep an eye on us. This can be a good thing, once we prove we are not here to be loud, annoying or disrespectful. Also, the lady who reported us was 90 something years old, and you know how old ladies need drama!

The last thing I’ll mention as an initial observation is the amount of noise you hear in the hutongs. First, animal noises. I like all of these, including the pigeons, the cats and dogs people have as pets that run around the alleys, and even the sounds of some creature at night making a nest somewhere on the roof. Being close to nature, even minimally like this, is much nicer than the total lack of wildlife in the apartment complexes. The human noise in the hutong is extreme. People on bikes go up and down the alleys throughout the day yelling things like “mechanic available!” or “trash collection!” or “handyman!” or “housecleaning service!” I think this is great, but since it is all day long, I wonder if several months from now I’ll still find it quaint and fun. Several times a day a group of old men and women walk by and I hear bits and pieces of local gossip. If my Chinese was better, this would be really cool. I hope it improves so I can eavesdrop more efficiently. They play go and Chinese checkers outside the house sitting on little stools and gossiping, which is, so far, my favorite part of the neighborhood life.

As many of you know, we were recently evicted from our apartment in Beijing. This stellar nightmare had a surprisingly happy ending when we recently signed a one-year lease on a hutong ping’an in Beijing. The misery of finding a new apartment in Beijing in the middle of the freezing winter time was hard enough, but looking for a specific thing while freezing makes it hard to stay focused. After a week and a half of searching for apartments I finally found exactly what I wanted—a hutong building.

The apartment has a living room, master bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, dining room and extra guest bedroom and an office. In short, it is the biggest place I’ve ever rented. Additionally, it is in a hutong (a traditional-style courtyard village, where the entire community is in a 1sq kilometer block). One hutong home is called a ping’an. Since the communities expanded and grew, and more people moved in, they went from being the traditional courtyard surrounded by three large buildings, to a scattering of smaller homes and apartments at ground level, usually with a maze of alleys and passageways to smaller homes. Most hutong homes don’t have a bathroom, so public bathrooms are located around the hutong alleys. Ours has a bathroom.

I was so happy when I walked in and saw the ping’an that I knew it was where I wanted to live for the next month. A German fellow and his Chinese girlfriend were living there and the place was trashed! I mean, it was the most trashed home I’d ever seen. Piles of dirt and trash were strewn everywhere, clothes were piled on everything, furniture was piled on top of furniture and one whole room was stacked to the ceiling with unused appliances, furniture, trash and clothing. I had no idea how big some of the rooms were because of all the stuff! Nevertheless, the location was so great (near a bus stop, in a cultural hutong with great access to local pubs, cafes and shops) that I didn’t care about the mess. I made an offer on the spot.

The following day the landlord agreed to my offer (via an agent) and I paid a half month agent fee and watched the landlord pay the other half, everything was upfront. The landlord arrived and we started examining the mess. She said if anything was broken to let her know and she’d fix it. I later found via testing everything that almost all appliances were kaput! As of yet, the landlord hasn’t returned to fix anything, but she assures us she will next week. I have no reason to doubt that.

We signed a lease and paid three months rent and one month deposit. We then learned that we would be paying about another 1,000RMB a month in heating as the heating system was antiquated and the ping’an inefficiently insulated. We were so happy about the home we didn’t care. We spent the next three days cleaning out the mess, and even had a cleaning crew come in to help. After the cleaning crew left the mess was more manageable. It will take quite a while to get the place up to where we want it, but with a bit of paint and decorations the ping’an will be amazing. We’re so happy with the new place, despite the heating costs and multitude of broken appliances, that we just can’t wait to have it totally ready and get settled in!

Pictures will be forthcoming once we get the basics dealt with and figure out where to put everything.

First, a little background information on rental practices in China: In general, you sign a lease and pay your rent whenever you move in. No one waits for the first of the month to move. We signed our lease on a three-bedroom apartment in Dongchang district on the 21st of September, for example. You pay your rent in China by giving one month deposit and three months rent up front. You pay your rent every three months, essentially. Our lease was unique in that is stipulated two months deposit, two months rent.

We had a hard time finding a three-bedroom apartment for us and our roommates. Once we finally did, our agent charged us over half a month rent for a finder fee. We later learned that the landlord paid the realty company a months rent, and we should not have paid a fee at all. The agent (named Sam) pocketed the money. We later learned that he was in cahoots with an agent at the company listing the apartment, a girl named Lina. (This all comes into play later!) The company listing the apartment, should you wish to avoid it, was 5i5j, one of China’s largest realty companies.

On the 15th of November, right before our rent was due for the second time, we were alerted that we were being evicted because the landlord had sold the apartment to a new owner who did not wish to rent it out. They told us we needed to be out by the end of the week. In a total panic (my parents were visiting from abroad and everyone was extremely busy) we consulted the lease and learned we had to be given ten days notice. We countered with this information and they begrudgingly accepted. They had tried to pull a fast one on us, hoping we wouldn’t be able to read the lease that was all in Chinese.

Our contact with the rental company was a 30+ year old local named Lina (aforementioned). She spoke some English, which is why they probably assigned her to us. She admitted that we did get ten days, and told us they would be free, we didn’t need to pay for them. We had until the end of the month to be gone. This was all confirmed in English and Chinese, in multiple expressions so as to erase the issue of it possibly being a misunderstanding.

It turned out Lina was telling us a series of lies to get us to do what she wanted, without any concern about the effect her lies would have on us and on her coworkers. Here’s how the misery of the eviction played out:

Lina lied about the ten days being free and the landlord showed up to collect the ten days rent, prorated. Since we asked repeatedly for this deal in writing and Lina refused, we had no evidence to support our claim.

Lina lied again when she told us all the furniture we purchased for the apartment would be bought by the landlord. When the landlord arrived she knew nothing about this arrangement. We lost all the money we spent on furniture, and had to leave it all behind because there was nowhere to move it. This was Lina’s second lie, and although we had text messages from Lina proving she promised this, the company and the landlord refused to agree.

Lina promised to find us a new apartment for free as part of the deal when breaking a lease with a client. This turned out to be a total scam run by Lina and her friend Sam. Lina showed us apartments that were so vile or so far out of our price range that she knew ahead of time we would reject them. Meanwhile, her accomplice (Sam, aforementioned) would show us nice ones in our price range. Her friend then tried to charge us a large finder’s fee, which he would split with Lina. She would make money on finding us an apartment, money being her ultimate goal here.

I confronted Lina about these many lies and immoral practices and she turned bright red and refused to answer me. She showed up at our apartment the following day with two large gentlemen from the company and told us we had to be out of the apartment that night! It was around 5pm when she arrived with her ‘henchmen’ to evict us on the spot. We told her to get lost, and told the people with her about the many lies she had told us. She denied it all, and a series of yelling spats ensued. Eventually they left in a huff, but nearly as angry as we were. We were dealing with a greedy monster of a woman who was lying to everyone she encountered. Our poor roommate, this being their first time in China, were suffering through a horrible first impression of life in China.

The following day was the 30th, and we were informed that they would come to inspect for damages and return our deposit at 10:00am. They were over an hour late, and once they did arrive we learned they had only brought half the money they owed us for the eviction (our deposit plus two months rent for breaking the lease). The landlord arrived, more agents arrived, and the new owners arrived and began measuring the walls for their furniture. There were around ten people in the house, all together, as the madness unfolded.

We informed them that Lina told us we could stay for ten days for free. The landlord was shocked and refused on the spot. Lina didn’t arrive and her coworkers refused to honor any of her promises, despite any evidence we provided. We explained to them the massive series of lies we were told and that we were extremely unhappy about the whole affair. What happened next was shocking. They refused to give us the money until we signed a form saying we were leaving. We signed, and then they informed us they only had half the money we were owed and that we could collect the rest at their office at the end of the week. One of our roommates began to get furious and explained that he would literally not leave the premises until the money was delivered. I explained that our trust was betrayed and we were extremely hurt by the whole process. The agent we were dealing with apologized for Lina’s many lies but said they couldn’t honor any of them. He agreed to get us the money within the day, and the roommate would stay in the apartment until I called to say the money was in hand. The situation had deteriorated so much that we were literally leaving a human being in the apartment for our security until we had the money. If we left, they would have no reason to honor their promise to deliver the rest of the money they owed us. Since everything they had told us so far proved a lie, we didn’t actually know if we would get the money.

Later that day I went to the company headquarters and had no problem getting the money, at which point I called and the roommate left the apartment. Our standoff having ended with us on the losing end in every respect. However, everyone I met at the company headquarters apologized for Lina’s behavior and one of the men pulled us aside and said, quote: “she does not respect herself and she does not represent the company, or myself.’ He was deeply ashamed of what had happened to us because of Lina, and he gave us his business card and said that if we ever had a problem in Beijing to call on him and he would help. He really wanted us to know that not all Chinese are like Lina and that he would help us with whatever problems we faced, as a friend. This was such a moving display that we totally forgot about Lina’s selfish methodology and greedy approach to life, and were instantly brightened by this gentleman’s offer of assistance.

The whole event was so horrific and spread out over half a month that one of the roommates decided to leave China altogether, having tired of what he saw as a place where he wasn’t welcome. I don’t blame him one bit! It was a horrible first experience in China! He claims that in all the places he has travelled, China is the only place where he has had such trouble and felt so unwelcomed, and why spend one moment of your life in a place where people don’t want you. He is now on his way to south-east Asia and the land of smiles. Mike and I decided to stay in China, and we’re sure we’ll find many, many more people like the gentleman who offered his help, than people like Lina. Good riddance to her, the only good side to this whole affair is that we’ll never have to interact with her again.

We’ve been looking all over for a place to buy a ferret. Yeah, I know what you are thinking, why buy a pet when you will just have to leave in a few years and possibly leave it behind. The quarentine process for brinign animals from China to the USA can’t be easy, and besides, ferrets are just glorified rats. Here’s my retort, sirs:

Ferrets are adorable, they do a warrior dance to signal when they want to play or fight that involves rolling around upside down and tossing their bodies side to side. If all warriors did that dance there would be no war… only massive laughing sessions followed by treks to the closest bar.

We looked at other animals as well. In 2006 we owned a rabbit in Beijing, but it quickly died. It was either sick when we purchased it from the street corner salesman who was also selling fish and toilet bowl cleaner, or he died as a result of running around or soon-to-be-condemmed apartment. He died so quickly after we got him that Mike seems to think it was his fault. I’ll go on record saying it wasn’t anyone’s fault, but it did mean that this time around we didn’t want to try our luck again with a Beijing bunny.

Cats are the best option, in my opinion, but Mike is allergic. Lame. And although I’d love a dog, how could I possibly part with that or give it away whenever I left Beijing? Ideally, the most generic and cliche animals are actually the best because they interact with humans on a high level and when guests come over they are not terrified, a they might be if a ferret ran by unannounced.

To check out our options, we went to the Beijing Guanyuan Market – The Fish, Bird and Insect Market. Obviously insects and fish were out of the question (boring, loud, boring, ugly, etc…), which left birds. I’d be happy to get a bird actually, but one that flies around and is interactive, not one of the irritating and loud ones that is scared of humans. I had a cockatiel in middle school that would fly around and land on people’s heads and eat seeds out of your mouth. I miss him, his name was Fido.

Anyways, fish and bugs were out, and the birds were mostly tiny and overcrowded, with 10-20 birds in a tiny cage meant for one animal. We also saw cats, kittens mostly, in tiny cages meant for rabbits and rabbits in cages meant for rats and so on. Only the ferrets had large cages, and they wanted over $500  USD for one ferret. We really wanted to get one, but we didn’t want to party with $500 to do so. To get to the market if you happen to be in Beijing, take the subway to Fuchengmen (line 2), take exit B and head North, the market is on the right (East) hand side of the road, just inside the Second Ring Road. It is in an old hutong, so you can walk around the maze and find food, rabbits, insects, more food, and clothing.  A nice but not appetizing combo.

Since it was my birthday week we got to do a lot of really fun stuff. After all, you only turn 27 once! Mike decided to take me to the Beijing zoo to celebrate. With the new apartment I was hoping to get a cat but one of the room mates is allergic, so a trip to the zoo to see the giant cats there was a consolation.

In 2006 our visit to the zoo ultimately resulted in one of our friends yelling at a local child for tossing his empty coke bottle into the lion cage and yelling at the other animals. We were shocked at how people treated the caged animals, yelling, throwing things, banging on the glass and generally just being annoying and rude to the animals and other human visitors to the zoo. Now, 2010, things were a bit different. You still had the occasional asshole, but those are everywhere I suppose. At Como Park Zoo in Minnesota I saw a fourteen year old boy throw a hot dog into the monkey cage. So it goes.

A few memorable events happened while we were at the zoo. First, the boy throwing his coke bottle into the lion cage (lion helpfully pictured here). The lion jumped up and began to limp around the periphery of the cage. His front, right paw is seriously injured, you can see him holding it awkwardly in the picture. We watched for a while, but it looked like a recent injury. Hopefully they have resolved it by now!

The second event was when we were attacked by the Golden Monkey. The cage, to preface, is shaped like a giant metal mushroom. You can walk under the mushroom close to the ‘stem’ and look up and see the Golden Monkey flying around in his cage from branch to branch. I was looking up at three monkeys clinging to the sides of the mushroom cage when suddenly the male monkey became aware of our presence and jumped from where he was perched, falling around 12 -14 feet until he landed directly above our heads on the cage roof. He snarled and scared the hell out both of us! He rattled the cage and showed his teeth and even pounded on the grating. He was really angry! We backed up (honestly, we practically fell over backwards he terrified us so much) and a moment later the monkey was back on the wall, acting like nothing happened. Naturally, we moved back under the overhang area and watched. A minute later he noticed us standing there and free-fell from even higher, landing right above our heads and rattling the cage and making off monkey yelling noises. It was like Planet of the Apes!

Mike pretended to get mad at the monkey, yelling at it “Don’t you scare my girlfriend on her birthday, evil monkey!” it only takes about five seconds for a million Chinese people to gather whenever a commotion is detected. Mike’s fake taunting of the evil money quickly drew a crowd…. a very large crowd. The evil monkey climbed back up in the cage and ignored everyone, making Mike look like an evil spectator and the monkey like the innocent victim. This was one evil monkey we were dealing with, here. We shuffled away eventually, when it became obvious the monkey had one that round. Don’t worry, we’ll go back to the zoo again soon and see who wins round two!

After the zoo we went over to a friend’s apartment for taco night. They were friendly enough to invite us over and one of the room mates at our friend’s place even produced an extremely large birthday cake! They hit the lights and came out singing Happy Birthday. We played cards and chatted about old times, these friends having lived in beijing since 2006. All in all, and despite Evil Monkey, it was a great birthday!