Tag Mongol Rally

The Adventurists are launching a new concept for a rally, this one is so daring, so amazing, so fantastic that once Lauren saw it she hasn’t been able to talk about anything else. She is literally rally racing in her sleep. So, what’s the big idea? Rather than tell you, look at the image below and let your sleepless, dream-filled nights begin!

This, our dear lovers of adventure and friends, is a sidecar motorcycle in Siberia pulling a guy on a snowboard. They haven’t launched this rally yet, in fact these lucky folks in the picture are probably the first to do a rally of this sort, though they did it solo in an attempt to ascertain if it would be crazy and wild enough for an Adventurists Rally.

If you recall, in 2010 we did the now famous Mongol Rally from London to UlaanBataar, Mongolia. It was awesome, and it was organized by The Adventurists. Sure there were hiccups (why were we waiting at the border for three days, two nights without the paperwork the organizers were meant to have supplied?) but that will happen in any trip and especially one of this magnitude with over 500 people participating. I know it’s only been roughly one year and about a week and four days since we launched on the Mongol Rally, but already I can feel the shiver of excitement about the next one. Mike isn’t as energetic about the thought of driving around The Road Of Bones in the snow, pulling me on skis, but I can assure you the smile would be frozen to my face, even if I skied right off a cliff.

At the moment there are no more details on the Siberian Rally. Rest assured, I’ll be delivering details as I hear them. Since I’m currently in Beijing, it’s nothing but a short overnight train up to the frozen tundra to launch this awesome adventure, and I want to be there when it kicks off!  For other volunteer options, Original Volunteers provides the opportunity for anyone to volunteer abroad in over 18 countries around the world.

Let’s go Team Abandon the Cube: LOST IN SIBERIA

The Long Way Round

We recently watched the series Long Way Round, where Charlie Boorman and Ewan McGregor ride their BMWs from London to New York– the long way around. They cover some 19,000 miles in around 3 months. This show was of interest to us because we recently completed the 2010 Mongol Rally, a charity ride from London to Ulaan Bataar, Mongolia. Ewan and Charlie did a strikingly similar route though much of the same territory, stopping at many of the same sites.

Charlie and Ewan set up an office in London several months prior to their departure and hired a small staff to help plan their route, get the necessary paperwork, consult with them on border crossings, and many more activities, like writing and disseminating sponsorship proposals and calling companies for donations. These were all activities we undertook for the Mongol Rally, and oh how nice it would have been to have an office and a support crew to do so!

To train them before the ride, they hired a personal trainer. We did sit-ups in the basement. To prepare themselves for harsh border crossings they hired an ex-military safety guru to teach them basic evasion, combat training, weapons use and how to best deal with a hostage situation. We watched Steven Segal movies. To prepare for any unforeseen medical problems, a doctor was brought on board. We had several boxes of band-aids and a suitcase of pepto. To learn Russian prior to departure they hired a Russian area consultant, a visa advisor and a language coach. We got an language book off Amazon and read the history of Russia. To fund the trip, they had a room full of women sending out proposals and a celebrity actor pleading for kit. We had a proposal we made ourselves and sent to everyone we could think of– and they promptly laughed in our faces. Needless to say, we’re jealous of their support crew.

They rode a nearly identical route from London to the Ukraine as we did, passing through the Czech Republic just as we did, and stopping at the Church of Bones, which we routed ourselves out of the way to see. Along the way they had various monuments and tours cleared for themselves and the support and video crews, and his two-van support team went ahead at most border crossings and at major sites to arrange visits, viewings and make for easy passage. A lot of what they saw would not have been possible without the support crews, and yet without Ewan on the team it wouldn’t have been a TV series at all.

The show itself is inspiring and lively, and gets me eager for our next self-guided adventure travel or rally. Its hard to watch a show like this one that makes travel look so dangerous, difficult and unattainable without a whole crew behind you and then realize that with a bit of real-world thinking and prior experience you could undertake the same trip as they did, and I’m sure people have.

diss I’m not trying to the Ewan-Charlie team, as I think they have something special and love what they are doing. I just think it is sad that it takes a celebrity on a team to get publicity for it. A lot of great travelers are doing equally amazing trips and because they arn’t A-listed stars they don’t get sponsorship, recognition or free gear, and the trips don’t get publicized so that most people think travel is this dangerous and relatively pointless activity.

Having finished the official aspects of the rally our convoy of nine set about enjoying the lovely city of Ulaan Bataar, which ralliers refer to as UB. While on our previous visit in 2007 to Mongolia we thought UB was a dust-covered wasteland that looked more like a Russian prison camp than a city. By 2010 the city had taken on new charm and was decorated in bright, flashing lights and paved sidewalks, with only the occasional dust storm. Buildings being demolished in 2007 had made way for newer, safer looking structures and even a 5 star hotel. We were impressed with the upgrades.

The convoy, having enjoyed its finish line party until late, was led by yours truly to the only hotel that would accept nine drunk ralliers at 3:00am without a deposit, the Miami Hotel. This was conveniently located near the finish line bar, so a parade of dirty ralliers stumbled from the bar to the Miami, singing and cheering their own accomplishments on the rally. We settled into the hotel and, in the morning, discovered it wasn’t a hotel but a brothel. I talked with the reception personal in a mix of Russian and Chinese to discover they didn’t particularly want us shutting down business, which our presence apparently was. We packed up that morning and spent a few hours wandering around with our luggage looking for a hotel. None were to be had, UB was booked. We returned to the brothel for another evening and, despite their looks of dismay, the 90 year old receptionist allowed us our previous rooms.

After securing accommodation for the night we set about securing food for our desperately hungry bellies. A Chinese restaurant around the corner had peaked our interest, so we spent a few hours gorging ourselves until even the Irish were unable to eat another bite. We shopped, dined and then, heading back to Miami, we got ready to hit the town for an epic Saturday evening.

We returned to the Finish Line party to meet more ralliers who were streaming into the city daily. We ran into some of the same teams we’d been bumping into across the steppe. An ambulance we thought had died 200 miles back appeared in the parking lot that evening, with all of the occupants alive and well– a surprise to many of us. One lad did injure himself trying to do fire walking while drunk, but aside from that their injuries were only psychological. It was a great sense of finality and completion to be at the Finish line while other teams came in, to hear their amazing stories and to see their dust-covered faces and starved stomaches as they smiles from ear-to-ear and cheered their arrival at the finish line.

We went to the car auction downtown to see what became of our donated rally cars. We discovered that the cars are auctioned in ‘as-is’ status to the highest bidder in a public arena. Pictures of the cars and their basic facts are put on a powerpoint slide and displayed to a throng of bidders. Most cars were selling for anywhere between $1,000 USD – $1,500 USD, despite the fact that most cars were also in a dire state of disarray. We learned that cars are one of Mongolia’s chief imports and sell for much higher than they would in the US or Europe. We don’t know, yet, what our little Citroen Saxo sold for, or if it was sold at all. Some cars apparently become the property of the owners of the various drop-off points. We found this out by visiting several of the drop-offs and seeing cars from the ’08 and ’09 rallies sitting, stripped of parts, in the parking areas. It was sad to see some rally cars cast off like that, knowing the epic adventures people went through to get them to Mongolia.

We spent the next several days shopping for gifts for family and supporting sponsors, as well as taking pictures, enjoying our last days as a convoy family, and preparing to head in our own separate directions. It was sad when the first of our group had to depart, the convoy felt broken and at a loss. It was hardest to say goodbye to the Norwegians who had so heroically saved several teams from demise by allowing them (and all their gear) to be loaded into the Fiat and carried to UB, despite the fact that they risked not finishing at all by carrying so much weight in their car for everyone else. We’ll miss Aslan and Bear! It was also hard to say goodbye to the two Irish. One from the north, and opinionated like a radio talk show host, the other from the south and as vocal and witty as a salesman. It was rough leaving the Aussie giant as well, who had grown close to Mike and developed a great giant-chiwawa relationship. Slowly, the convoy drifted in different directions towards Europe while Mike and I drifted towards China and Bill caught a flight back to the USA.

The Citroen Saxo was literally breaking in half. Our previous day’s welding was only a band aid on the larger fact that the frame was splitting in half, right down the middle. We had already removed all excess weight, and were riding with the three lightest people in our car, Mike, Lauren and Chris– a man from Southern Ireland who had a pension for story telling.

All of us expected a hard ride ahead, but after the welding at the last drop off point, we were riding in high spirits and having a blast. Chris jumped on the roof of our Citroen and rode, zip-tied to the roof, for over an hour. Watching the sunset behind us as we raced for the finish line, it was a highlight of the entire trip. 9 people in high spirits with the future ahead and trials an tribulations already behind us. Even if the cars exploded and died on the spot our mood couldn’t be ruined. Watching the sun set, with our cars weaving in and out of the light, our roofs covered in screaming and ecstatic ralliers, we were euphoric. We had less than 500 miles to go, and 200 of those miles would be on hard pavement, we learned. We were almost home free!

As the roads worsened (and we had heard roomers that they got worse before they got better) we noticed new sounds emanating from the Citroen. We took out even more weight, and only Chris and Mike were left in the car. Lauren rode with the Norwegians, Bill with the Aussie in his Suzuki Swift. What happened next was as unfortunate, but still proved interesting. Somehow, driving through the night, the Norwegian car got separated from the group. I was in that car, and we reached the pavement around 2:00am. we looked around, eager to celebrate the end of the bumpy roads, but the other two cars were long gone. We didn’t know if they were ahead of us or behind. After taking a vote, we decided to wait on the edge of the pavement until morning. I didn’t sleep at all, and at first light I was flagging down cars with messages scribbled on bits of trash. I asked each driver to take a note to the cars if they saw them ahead. The notes just had our location and the time. I showed the drivers pictures of the missing cars on my camera and then waved them off. By mid-morning a Chinese driver told me he’d seen two red cars broken down about 50 miles ahead of us on the pavement. We all jumped in the car and were ready to pull out when, from behind us, the Suziki Swift pulled up and Bill and the Aussie jumped out. They reported that the Citroen Saxo, the fearless ATC car, was finally dead. It had died during the night sometime, the engine having seized, the oil and gas filters both filled with dust and sand. It wouldn’t even turn over. It was scrap metal, they reported. Mike and Chris were back with the Citroen trying to get a tow from a passing trucker. Meanwhile, and to double the trouble, the Swift had a leak in the gas can. I jumped in the Swift to translate (in case they spoke Chinese) and we rushed to the next drop-off town some half hour down the road. The Norwegians went back for the ATCs dead car.

With the Swift, we had the gas tank patched and called the Adventurists’ contact in the city to report that the ATC car was on its way. The contact arrived, a lovely vegetarian, Christian lady– a double oddity in Mongolia. The Swift headed back to pick up the Norwegians and the dead ATC car. Meanwhile, she took pity on me, as I was pitiful, and took me to her vegetarian restaurant. She made me lunch and I ate with her and her family. She then dropped me in free room at her upstairs hotel. I napped for four hours. When I woke up she made me tea and talked to me about becoming a vegetarian. To be honest, it was surreal. Finally, as dusk was approaching, I heard the three cars pull up and my 8 team mates jumped out and we began to rip the ATC car apart. We sold a lot of the interior goods to the vegetarian and her husband. The rest we had to trash. We put four in the Swift and 5 in the Norwegian Fiat (some on the roof). That night was the last party for the finish line and it had long been a goal of ours to make the party. The Norwegians put their foot to the floor and we were bumping along behind the Swift as fast as possible.

It was midnight before we reached Ulaan Bataar. We saw it in the distance, an orange glow in the sky up ahead, and cheered. In the Swift, Phil the Aussie, Mike, Chris the Irish and I were all choking on the horrible smell from Chris’ shoes. It was so vile that Phil eventually slammed on the breaks, in sight of the city and the finish line goal, and threatened to toss the shoes. He even pledged his last beer to wash them out, anything to kill the smell. I’ll admit, it was rank. But with the city so close, it wasn’t that big a deal. It was hilarious to watch Phil stomp around as he got Chris’ shoes and tied them to the roof, before peeling out and re-joining traffic.

In town, we were all euphoric about finally reaching our goal. Bill crawled on the roof of the Norwegian’s car and, not surprisingly, they were pulled over by the Mongolian police and warned. The Swift didn’t wait to see the punishment. Chris was driving and he took that moment to admit he didn’t have a driver’s license and the car wasn’t registered to him! We panicked. The odds of not getting pulled over for a bribe or minor offense were extremely low. Nevertheless, we forged ahead looking for the finish line. Bill crawled back on the roof of the car and was pulled over yet again, this time within sight of the finish line. The cops were not as friendly this time, they took Aslan, the Norwegian driver, and kept his passport, setting a disciplinary meeting for the next morning.

We jumped across the finish line to see only one other team sitting around. They reported that the finish line party was over. There was no one around but the cops who had arrested Aslan, which put a sour taste in our mouths since we were, after all, here to donate a ton of money and cars. We walked around town for a while, eventually returning to the bar near the finish line. We met up with a few other teams around 2:00am and had a nice time celebrating our finish.

Looking around at the other cars in the finish line holding pen, we were happy to see friend’s cars from along the route, including the Face Race team and Mongol Schumachers, both of whom we caravanned with for the first half of the rally. It was like seeing an old friend to see their cars there.

43 days on the road, 10,000+ miles and we had finally made it to the finish line. Sure, some of us were arrested, one of our cars didn’t make it, one passport was missing and we had no where to go for the night, but we were happy and excited to have made it across 1/3 of the globe by land.

Next– ATC spends a week in Ulaan Bataar… why?

After leaving the Aussie mining camp we hit the road hard, trying to make up time and cover ground since we’d been relaxing for two days at the camp. We were nearly spoiled by the warm showers, hot food and great entertainment on the mining compound, and it was a sad moment piling back into the dirty cars and hitting the road. That night, we made it quite far and shockingly without incident. We even found a decent hotel to stay in, only our second hotel for the entire trip. Since our tent was ruined and still dripping wet from the rain storm two days ago, we were out of other options. The hotel was nice enough, and a friendly Mongolian lady helped translate for us and dinned on eggs and potatoes with our caravan.

The next morning we found the mechanic’s shop– a small garage on the outskirts of town, and had them set about welding our back end. Since we had too much weight in the car over unstable and bumpy roads, the frame in the back of the car literally split in two. The tires were rubbing on the wheel wells, and the back right tire had already worn through the gas line. The mechanics took the entire day welding in a bar across the trunk, separating and pushing back the two sides of the car and playing a round of darts between each act. We had literally run the thing into breaking in half. They patched the gas line and we were ready to roll. Unfortunately, it was already late evening by the time we got away from the mechanics. The rest of the caravan had waited patiently the entire day. Now we had a problem. Our car couldn’t support the weight it was carrying. We dumped everything we owned on the ground and began selling things to anyone who walked by. the tires fetched $25. Our expensive tent got us a return of about $15. Food, games, books, clothing, supplies, car parts– everything was dumped in the trash or sold. We put the remainder, our three personal bags, in the back of the Norwegian’s car, and we put three lighter weight people in the Citroen Saxo to keep the weight down even more. We were still riding low and it was only a matter of time before the gas line was rubbed raw again.

It was going to be a rough trip to the capital, this we could already see. The caravan was patient with our pathetic situation, and Aslan the Norwegian even offered to carry the people if we could all go through our supplies and leave what wasn’t necessary. They tossed stuff from their car, selling the spare battery, the sound system, all unnecessary food, etc. They were serious about keeping everyone safe. Once you get a challenge in a Norwegian’s head, it’s as good as achieved. They were determined to get us all to the finish line.

While the mechanics were ignoring/working on our car, the caravan filled the hours by shopping for traditional Mongolian dress, which most of us bought (our team excluded since we were broke after the car repairs). Everyone looked dashing in their Mongolian garb. We set off down the road only to encounter a massive hill crossing right out of the gates. The car made it to the top before the gear linkage popped out again.

Come back one more time to see if we make it to Ulaan Bataar! In the next episode– the end of the rally!

This is the story of how a lone Aussie walking around in an un-named ger village in the middle of the Mongolian steppe managed to save our rag-tag convoy of international ralliers. For this to make sense, you may have to read the previous post, The Surprise Recovery of the ATC Saxo, which outlines how our car was nearly dead when suddenly another team’s Fiat died and was towed by the Red Cross to a small ger camp.

We arrived in the camp only to discover that the afore-promised two truck was out of commission. The camp’s only shop was charging over $4 a soda, and the food was so inflated in cost that there was little we could afford. We were all eager to get out of town as soon as was possible, and stood about negotiating with various locals to secure tow for our fallen Fiat Diablo and their Norwegian owners. Suddenly, Al the Canadian walked over with wild stories about having met an Aussie miner. Chappy, he had been called, had invited us all to dine, shower and sleep at the mining camp a short distance off. We all smiled from ear to ear but as Al was a prankster, the smiles faded as soon as the realization that he must be joking set in. He laughed and waved over a strange messiah of a character with a long flowing grey beard and the kindest blue eyes. He was wearing denim and a yellow rain jacket that would have fit in perfectly on the docks of any major port. He looked tired and yet welcoming, worn and yet incredibly alive. Chappy shook our hands and told us to follow him. Meanwhile, he had the Diablo towed to the mining camp’s garage for safe keeping.

We followed Chappy around several small hills and into a ravine. I began to doubt we were going anywhere but on a wild goose chase when suddenly a small, walled-in camp emerged in the distance. A parking lot with white rock spaces rested out front with a chain-link fence surrounding about 20-25 gers. Two buildings stood at the southern end, with roughly ten shipping containers in various positions acting as different storage, living and bathing compartments. We were welcomed by Chappy and some of the other English-speaking workers at the camp. The head of safety and regulations was a Mongolian lady with perfect English who showed me, the only woman in our convoy, to the lady’s bathroom. The bathroom was a shipping container with a wooden door that led to two shower stalls and a small bathroom with a sink. She claimed there was constant hot water, a statement that nearly made me hug her. She next led me to a the wooden buildings at the southern center of the compound which revealed a game room complete with pool table, ping-pong, darts and work-out equipment and a game table for chess or cards and a small library and computer room for internet. The adjoining room was divided by shipping container walls but housed a small kitchen with state-of-the-art facilities and tables to seat over 100. Here I was introduced to a Mongolian woman who was married to an American diplomat (stationed overseas at present). She immediately took an interest in us and made sure we had everything we could ever need. She led us to an unoccupied ger where several workers were bringing in extra beds and covering them in blankets and pillows. Their kindness was overwhelming and we all melted into a sensation of comfort and glee.

I jumped in the shower so fast I nearly left the shampoo in the ger. It was indeed hot water, and the first I had encountered since arriving in Mongolia six days prior. I was ecstatic, and stayed in the shower for twenty minutes until the water ran clear and all of the dust and soot was out of my hair. Afterwards, I met the rest of the convoy in the dining room and gorged myself on expertly cooked Mongolian cuisine and juice. The first home-cooked meal in Mongolia and the first non-packaged food in a long while. We met and chatted with several Westerners who were at the mining camp doing reporting, analysis and safety checks. They did not seem as happy about the hot showers and amazing food as we were, but everyone’s spirits in the camp rose when they saw how happy they were making us all, and how appreciative we all were.

The next morning, after sleeping in a bed for the first time in a long while, we arose to a full breakfast and a day of waiting in the camp’s game room while the Norwegians tended to their car. We all believed it was dead, but by dinner time they emerged with news that an entire team of mining engineers had the day off and had decided to help rebuild engine and come up with a solution. They had, essentially, fixed the Diablo for free and used their expert advise to mend a broken fuel pump. We ate dinner with the miners and Chappy’s whole crew before setting out nearly at dusk for the next town on the road.

Chappy made us aware that not only had we taken a series of wrong turns to get where we were, but that he could get us back on track with one minor correction. We were appreciative of his advice, and the whole crew took pictures with our tiny convoy before setting out.

THANK YOU CHAPPY, and THANK YOU TO THE LEIGHTON CONTRACTORS and Mongolian support teams!

Coming next: Find out if the ATC team’s Citroen Saxo makes it to Ulaan Bataar

We pulled out of Khovd behind schedule and a bit fearful of our Citroen Saxo’s ability to make it all the way to UlaanBataar. The gear linkage continued to pop out roughly every 50k. We would all jump out, jack up the car, and Bill would do his magic under the machine while Mike and I repacked the car and got ready to toss the jack in the trunk. We could fix the issue and be mobile again within five minutes. Despite this, the fear was ever-present that one of these times it would not be as simple a fix as a duct-tape band around the linkage. We held a short team meeting and decided to forge ahead. We were now convoying with two other cars. A Suzuki Swift with an Aussie and a Irish guy, and a Fiet Diablo with a Norwegian duo in it carrying a hitch-hiking Irish and a waylaid Canadian. Together, we set off towards the next check point, with everyone involved fully aware that our little Citroen Saxo might not make it.

That first day we made it roughly 100 miles, traveling for roughly seven hours. We didn’t stop until well into the night. At one point the road disappeared and our three cars could be seen from a distance, I’m sure, bobbing around on the Steppe going nowhere in particular. Since we couldn’t see the road, we decided to stop. The Norwegians took off to scout out the road, telling the other cars not to turn off their lights. Naturally, once they were out of range we hit the lights and watched them drive around in circles across the Steppe for a few moments before taking pity on them. We set up a campfire, set up our tents and cooked a massive joint meal of ramen and Norwegian military ration packs. That night it rained, and it became apparent to Mike and I that our trusty tent was no longer water proof. Rivers of water ran down the interior of the tent and the bottom, far from being water proof, was now a swimming pool holding our sleeping bags. We jumped out as soon as the rain let down and slept restlessly in the car.

If we thought things would get easier from this point on we were sorely mistaken. In the morning, we packed up our soaking wet belongings and hit the non-existant road. We eventually found the path we needed through the hills and saw a road up ahead in the distance. As with all things in Mongolia, our roof rack began to wear and tear and less then an hour after departing it slid off the roof. We spent an hour jerry-rigging the rack, ripping apart the useless bits and duct-taping the entire newly constructed frame to the car. Thanks to the Norwegians, we had a few extra zip ties to secure it. We set off, leaving a pile of broken roof rack bits in the grass. About ten minutes later, the gear linkage popped again.

Despite all the problems with our car, what happened next was the biggest surprise of the day. I was riding in the front seat of the Fiat Diablo with Aslan, the Norwegian warrior. He was in the midsts of telling me that the only thing that could disable his beast of a car was a computer error. We jumped up on the road that we had all seen in the distance and within five meters of riding on smooth asphalt the Fiet went dead. Aslan was as calm as when the Vikings invaded the New World, and jumped out of the car to assess the damage. Five hours later, there was nothing to be done. The engine was jerry-rigged in much the same fashion as our roof rack, with wires and plugs duct tapped around pipes and hoses. It looked like modern art, and it worked…. for a while. Eventually the Fiat needed a tow, and a friendly Red Cross volunteer showed up with a Jeep just in time to town the Fiat to the top of the hill where a small collection of gers stood around a tiny shop. There was literally nothing else in sight for miles. The Red Cross worker spoke some English and explained that she could secure a tow truck tot take the Fiat to Ulaan Bataar, meanwhile the Norwegians donated their tool kit to the Jeep driver for the tow. It slowly became obvious to us that the tow truck could not materialize for days and the cost was skyrocketing the more people got involved. It wasn’t looking good for the trusty Fiat. Just when we were all discussing how to move forward without abandoning any of our convy, the Canadian walked over the hill with a bearded Aussie in tow to save the day.

Coming next– How an Aussie in the Mongolian Outback Saved the Rally for our Norwegian Heroes

Despite the horrible past few days, we were determined to enjoy Mongolia as much as possible and to return to having fun on the rally. We drove carefully along the Mongolian roads, which cannot be fairly called roads at all, but are more like a suggested path through the Steppe. Often the road would end at a giant bolder and we’d go around it, or up a giant hill we’d have to make it up in first gear. The roads were mud or gravel, but not cement. We edged the car along doing 20 mph on a good stretch. Suddenly we were aware that we wouldn’t be making the final party on Saturday the 4th. There was no way on roads like this! That night we pulled into the first town, Ogli, by 6:00pm. We didn’t feel like stopping yet, but at the same time we needed a shower, a real meal, and if we drove on we could lose the main road and get lost on the Steppe in the dark. Since there are no road signs, you are pretty much guessing when you come to a fork in the dirt road.

We found a small ger camp with advertised hot showers for $10 a ger. We confirmed the price with the lady in the office after hearing it from a tourists who had been living in the ger for a few days. We threw our stuff in the ger, put the car in an ancient garage behind back, and set off looking for food. We found a Turkish restaurant other ralliers had recommended, and dined on lamb and salads with fanta. Not bad for the middle of nowhere. Back in the ger, we settled in and I took a shower. It was, perhaps, the coldest shower I’ve ever been in. It had slivers of ice in the water, which only came out of the spout but not the shower head so that you had to bend down and stick your head covered in shampoo under the tap of ice water. I was shivering profusely when I got back in the ger and climbed under all the blankets. I couldn’t stop shaking for over an hour. We hung out, Mike and Bill had a beer while I stayed warm, the shivers subsiding. Around 10:30 there was a knock at the door and two young women came in and demanded money. We asked what for, bored already by the game they were trying to play.

They wanted $10 a person for the ger. We were rightly outraged. We even had it written on a piece of paper that it was $10 a ger. After the past two days, this was too much. The two tiny girls tried to throw us out of the ger, but we were, obviously, too big to be thrown. They called their boss, who refused to listen and said he had lots of expenses and needed the money. I told him the shower was ice water, and unusable, and the ger was not insulated. He didn’t care or listen but demanded we pay the girls or leave. He hung up on us. We didn’t budge. After over an hour, we agreed to pay $5 a person or else. The boss man agreed, but not after a huge scene with the girls. I paid them, but wouldn’t let my hand go of the bill until the other girl brought exact change. They were furious, but also, you don’t’ barge into someone’s room late at night demanding they pay. What kind of hospitality or businesses sense is that? We were already sick of Mongolia, and we’d only been in the country three days. We fell asleep and in the morning got started around 10:00am since our car was blocked in by other rally team cars. We drove off, hoping to make it to the next town that night.

The next town was Khovd. Outside of town we saw a poster for a ger camp that was catering to ralliers. This could go either way, but we wanted to see who was there. Inside the ger camp we found five teams having dinner and talking about camping outside of town for free but using the warm gers now. Seemed sensible. We drove out of town to set up, but on the way met a team of 2 Norwegians who had picked up a stray Canadian and lost Irishman. They were towing a broken-down car with a giant Aussie and a disgruntled Irishman in it. They asked if we had room to carry one of them, but with our car weight already exceeding the max and nowhere for the person to sit, we had to decline. They were dropping off the Aussie’s car at the drop-off point (only one in each major town sponsored by the rally) and were then going back to the ger camps. We followed them there and had a great night getting to know the boys and hearing about their broken car. In the morning, we agreed to set off together in convoy after picking up a few more tires.

That morning proved the biggest scare of the trip for our team. The Saxo refused to go into first or second gear! The gear linkages had been falling out intermittently, but this was a first. We took it to a shop where it was magically fixed and we put on a new tire. Other teams were swapping tires at the drop-off point and after a few hours we were all ready to roll together. It would be nice to be in convoy again.

It wasn’t that late when the army arrived. Five men in camouflage must have heard the guards were being treated like kings and wanted a piece of the action. They had large rifles over their shoulders, fingers on the hilt. They did not look amused. To entertain the guards and make the holding pen bearable teams had purchased vodka. The army guards rounded up all the bottles and put them in the trunk of a car and told the ralliers not to drink. They turned off the music and said we needed to keep it quiet. A little drunk already, the ralliers thought they could charm the army guards the same way they thought they were charming the border guards. One of the army men pulled his rifle in front of him, cocked the weapon and leveled it at a young British kid in a purple scarf. The kid’s eyes widened but he didn’t move of yell. He just stared straight ahead with his hands in his pockets. I was out of my tent and standing near the boy in the scarf. The guard eventually lowered his rifle, and the kid nearly crumbled to the ground, he was in shock, I think. In the background I saw another army guard with his rifle pressed against a rallier’s back, bending him over the hood of a van. Everyone was silent, mouths agape. The man pushed his gun hard into the rallier’s back one more time then they withdrew and told the ralliers to be silent.

After they left a new emotion settled on the group. It wasn’t anger this time, but pure defiance. Someone turned back on the music and someone else got out the vodka. After a while of drinking a third person had the bright idea to drag race the cars across the holding pen. They lined up several cars. I was in my tent reading again and heard the idea as it was shouted out. Knowing no one was sober enough to drive out there, I got out of my tent. I didn’t want to be run over and wrapped up in tent fabric. I jumped out, video-camera in hand, and filmed the cars reaching the end line. Next came e-brake contests trying to spin the cars. They came dangerously close to the tents, people sleeping inside. Next came the idea to race the ambulances. They were lined up and reeving their engines. Some moron turned on the sirens and as they cleared a bigger race area the army guards reappeared. This time, I couldn’t really blame them. Ralliers were drunk and drag racing ON government property after being warned to be quiet. I turned on the video-camera and caught the guards harassing ralliers, pushing them with their weapons and then, stealing everyone’s cameras. They didn’t get mine as I snuck back in my tent and filmed through the tent fabric.

In the morning, I marched into the border guard office and demanded to use a phone to call the American embassy. I wanted out of this situation. It wouldn’t be hard to imagine how last night could have gotten out of hand if the ralliers had thought it a good idea to fight back against the guards, or if the guards had lost it, or god forbid, if someone had brought a local girl back to the holding pen or something. I wanted out right now, and I wanted the American embassy to know what was going on to file a complaint against the Mongolian government. I demanded a phone (politely at first). They turned white, shook a little and took me to a phone. Since it was long distance, they said I couldn’t call and tried hard to keep me off the phone. I knew there was a phone in town at the post office. I turned on my heel to go call from there but I heard in the background the guard picking up the phone and very quickly issuing a new command. At the post office, to no shock at all, we found the door bolted. Locals around the post office said it was strange and should be opened. Obviously they had called ahead to have it closed. The post office clerk was probably watching us through the peep hole. A sympathetic local pointed to the top of a nearby hill. ‘Emergency phone’ she said. It was a good 2 hour hike up the hill, and yesterday when ralliers had tried to fly a kite on the hill they had been held in a separate room and questioned for a while. We couldn’t reach that phone without being seen. No cell phone reception in the valley so we were literally stuck and back to square one. I went back and told the guards I’d be reporting them in UlaanBataar. They promised we would all get out that day, Saturday, as the place would be closed Sunday and they didn’t want to babysit us another night.

It was not surprising when they cleared every car in the pen by 5:00pm. We were out at 3:30pm, having been forced to pay yet another bribe. $10 USD directly into the guards pocked that everyone was kissing up to the night before. I’m glad we didn’t participate in the sucking up process. I took a picture of the head guard stuffing money into his pockets, and we sped off down the road.

We had been held for two days, no food or water provided, no heat or comfort, no explanation, no phones or way to contact anyone, and no help from the guards or the Adventurists. Everyone came out of the holding pen speeding. A small booth selling insurance demanded everyone pay, our car stuck out middle fingers and didn’t slow down. No more bribes from us, that’s final! We pushed the car as fast as it would go on the gravel road out of town. We rounded the second bend and came to a screeching halt. The Belfast boys car was ahead of us in the ditch. Before the car had halted we were running down into the ditch. The boys were not there, the van was totaled and the windshield broken. Glass was everywhere, but half the insides of the van were gone. All of their bags, everything. They had left maybe 2 hours ahead of us. There was no blood inside the car. We packed up as much of their stuff as we could gather and fit in our trunk then set off towards UlaanBataar, hoping we’d find news along the way of the Belfast boys and return some of their stuff. We slowed down our car and drove carefully again.

What a harrowing two days, the worst of the rally. The Adventurists did not help us at all, what was the registration fee for? They had one job, one job in the entire rally and that was to make sure we imported the cars legally and quickly and they had failed. As a result, guns were pulled the night before on what could have been a horrible incident, and today the Belfast boys had crashed, probably doing just what we had done- sped out of the holding pen. It was unacceptable, and the Adventurists would be hearing about everyone’s anger and the danger they had put us in. Already one rallier had died, and they could have easily had several more deaths at the border and right outside it because no one cared that we were being held there, treated like animals, and robbed.

From the previous post you learned we had trouble getting through the various windows to get through Mongolian customs and border control. In fact, they were holding us (and about 20 other teams) in a cement and metal pen off to the side of the compound. We walked around asking what was going on and the other ralliers in the pen were livid and dripping with anger. The anger was raw and bubbling to the surface the longer the ralliers were held there. Everyone was lying to them and keeping them against their will in an inhumane pen, when all they wanted to do was get to UlaanBataar to donate their car and the money they had raised for charity. It was a classic case of doing good and being punished for it, they felt. I walked around talking to various teams for several hours. The consensus was that we were not getting out any time soon and that there was nothing to do but wait since we had literally no idea, as a group, what the problem was. Some teams had already called the Adventurists and reported that the adventurists had to pay a $900.00 fee per car to import them legally into Mongolia. The Adventurists said their bank account was not sufficient to pay for all of the cars at once, and indeed could only pay for a handful of cars each day. Another team heard a similar story but that they were drawing the money out of an account that had a withdraw limit per day, thus only a few cars a day could go through. The border guards refused to let the ralliers go on good faith, assuming the Adventurists would pay eventually. Meanwhile, the Adventurists distrusted the guards and refused to pay for teams that had not yet arrived since they thought the guards would keep the money and hold the ralliers. It was a catch 22. Apparently the Adventurists thought this arrangement was acceptable. The ralliers being held in a cement pen disagreed.

The first day, we arrived in the pen around 11:00am and once we figured out we’d be there a while we set up our tents to get out of the harsh summer sun. At night, we were told, it would drop to well below zero. Mike did not have a sleeping pad, so we dumped all of our clothes on the floor of the tent to make a bed to keep him off the cement. I ripped the back seat out of the car as my sleeping pad. We set up, expecting a freeze that night but sweating profusely during the hot daytime hours. Card games were played in the shade of the cars and another team had a poker game going. Someone had a guitar, and music was played until his fingers were sore, then the Belfast boys put on their Ipod and aimed the speakers at the compound.

We learned that we could leave but the cars couldn’t. Technically, then, they were not holding us against our will. We left the car in the holding pen and walked into the small border town. Not surprisingly, the locals took their cue from the guards and tried to rip us off. They charged triple the actual cost for anything we needed, knowing we were being held in the pen and needed food and water. Teams paid ridiculous prices for sustenance. I was too stubborn, so Mike and I cooked on our tniy stove in the holding pen and ate ramen.

That night, it did get cold, but not as cold as the previous night. The border guards came into the holding pen and several ralliers fell into their palms like sheep. They were obviously looking for hand-outs in exchange for supposed favor in the morning’s car pick (remember, only so many cars can go through a day). Ralliers fell over themselves sucking up to the guards, and put them in the limited camp chairs, stuffed American cigarettes in their mouths and poured them shots of good vodka. Mike and I didn’t participate, knowing they would leave and laugh and not give any favor in the morning to anyone who had given them money or gifts tonight. It was sick to watch the people who were the angriest and meanest in the pen, now sweetly talking to the guards and handing them coloring books for their children. At one point, the guards offered to bring in several Mongolian women if the ralliers were bored. Did I mention I was one of only two women in the holding pen? I was sickened by the whole show and went into my tent to read.

We waited in line with the Belfast Boys who had arrived at the Mongolian border before us until 9:00am. As the gates were ready to open, a local came up and told us we needed to move our cars out of the front of the line, go back 300 yards down the road, and register our passports with the authorities in the unmarked building down the way. We ignored them, since they had been trying to edge their cars around ours in line all night. Then, when a guard came up with the same instructions, we nearly lost it. “Why didn’t you tell us this at 5:00am, when we arrived?!” We soon found out why. The registration office opened at 9:00am, the gates opened at 9:00am, so no one in line had registered but the catch was Mongolians didn’t need to, nor did the Russians—so we were the only ones in line still jumping through hoops. We ran to the office then sat outside waiting until it officially ticked 9:01am. We quickly registered, jumped in the cars and… the guards motioned the Mongolians behind us through first. This wasn’t going to be an easy day, we could tell already.

We ended up through the gates by 10:00am. The Russians checked our passports, again the guards did not think the childish and somewhat chubby face on Mike’s passport picture was actually him—the dirty, bearded, thin man standing before them. It didn’t help that he was exhausted and looked older than he was. Eventually they let him through, but not after calling over every guard in the establishment to weigh in on their opinion. Bill and Lauren made it through easily and waited in the car while the Russians searched through the trunk. The head man was on site that morning, so the guards did a great job of looking without touching or taking, which made it the easiest Russian border crossing yet. Thanks, boss man!

We started driving through no-man’s land. This is usually a 1-3k empty area, a demilitarized zone agreed to by both parties. This no-man’s land was much more. We drove for ten minutes through barren hills covered and re-covered in barbed wire. The roads were the only passable part of the area so that nothing could drive across except on the roads. Guards (from which country, we don’t know) were laying more barbed wire, as if there were not enough deterrents already. A mid-way station revealed that we get a slip of paper showing we drove through legally. A friendly Russian and friendlier Mongolian both signed the car with our Sharpi marker, and waved us cheerily on.

A few minutes down the road we arrived at the Mongolian border. It consisted of a long line of cars waiting outside a fenced-in compound. This was odd since not that many cars had passed us at the Russian border, some of these cars came from elsewhere or from the day before. At 10:30 I met Betty, a Mongolian border guard who speaks decent English. We chatted for half an hour about her family, my family, and life in Mongolia. I introduced her to the team, and the Belfast boys. Meanwhile, a man had some up to the team and demanded money for driving the cars through the ‘disinfectant pool’ which was apparently a huge puddle of dirty, feces-filled water behind us. We refused to pay, as it was so ludicrous it was actually laughable but as Bill had showed him our car registration the man had grabbed it and run off into his office. He would return the registration for a small fee. Let me stop here. On the entire Mongol Rally we’ve avoided paying any bribes, any pay-outs or favors. This would be a first. I went into the office and slammed my hand on the desk and demanded it back, I ran after Betty and she advised us just to pay, as it was a small amount. I returned to the crap-pool and told the guard it made our car dirty and the fee was equal to the fee he demanded for dirtying our car. None of this worked and eventually Bill and Mike demanded I just pay the small bribe, so I pulled out one $USD and slammed it on the table in a small pile of food and fly gut residue. He was irate but I snatched the registration and walked away. So much for a bribe-free trip, and for a disinfectant wash that is probably corroding the bottom of the car?

We eventually made it through the gate Betty was guarding, and were instructed to park in front of the customs building. Once inside, you’ll never guess what happened. I’ll tell you, but I think you already know. They handed us a form called an ‘official health declaration’ which we filled out claiming we were healthy and sane. They wanted $5 USD to accept the form. You can’t process a visa without it and they wouldn’t accept it without the money. Yet another fake fee. The old woman smiled and knew she was going to get the money eventually. Yet again I yelled and smashed my hand on various desks. “Where here for charity, we raised money to help Mongolia, we’re donating our car to you to help raise more money for charity and yet you steal from us?” It was greeted with a lame, semi-toothless smile. She understood me.

Next in line was a lady who would stamp your visas and passport. Americans don’t need a visa for Mongolia (we donate huge sums of money in the form of aid) so we just got a stamp while the Brits and Irish had their visas checked. There was no fee here, which was a welcomed change, but we had one more window to go, so I wasn’t reforming my opinions about the Mongolian border guards just yet.

The final window was to register the car as being imported into Mongolia. There was a fee here… a $900.00 one! Since we had signed up with the rally we gave the Adventurists, (the body that organized the entire Mongol Rally) a deposit to pay this fee for us, and then when the car is sold they make that money back. However, this was the part that ended up costing us a bit of sanity and several days of our lives. Either the Adventurists refused to pay until they had already sold some of the cars in UlaanBataar, or the guards where holding out for a massive bribe. There was no way to know, even after calling the Adventurists we got the feeling we were being played by them as well. We were told to move our cars into the holding pen down the road. We checked this out. It was a cement platform with a cage around it. Two out houses 150yards away were the only facilities on hand. There was no water, no access to food in the compound, and nowhere to go. We pulled our cars into the pen, joining roughly twenty other cars that had been parked there for quite a while. Tents were assembled around the cars so that very little room was left. People walked around discussing what to do, some had their camp chairs out and were cooking breakfast, others played soccer against the fence or worked on their cars. Some people looked to have been there a long while. I walked around and asked what the deal was. Here was the raw deal we got in exchange for raising money for the Mongolians:

We were to wait in the pen until the border guards issued a form saying we could legally import the car into Mongolia. The guards claimed the Adventurists refused to pay the car import fee of $900.00, while the Adventurists insisted they were paying for 10 -20 cars a day (which would still leave several teams stranded for multiple days). There is no way to know the truth since it turned out the Adventurists were as corrupt as the guards. What happened over the next two days while we were held in this pen on the Steppe will shock you, so I’ve set it into another post entirely. Prepare yourselves to be shocked!

It is an amazing thing to meet up with one’s parents in the middle of nowhere. We met my folks in Tashkent for a week of R&R at little more than the half-way point of the Mongol Rally. In previous years of traveling we’ve met them in several other odd places around the world and always we’ve had great adventures and a lot of fun. This time, in Tashkent, we stayed at a lovely place with an indoor pool, dart board, ping-pong table and in-house cinema. My folks provided copious amounts of beer and booze , as well as amazing Western food, and we provided a horrifyingly bad aroma from our dirty clothing and dusty car.

We started off by washing everything, the car included and scrubbing our skin. We all thought we had tans but it turned out that after a few showers the darker skin went down the drain, must have been dirt so ingrained into our pores it became part of us. That first night we stayed up until 3am talking, playing games and catching up. My sister made an amazing Mexican-inspired meal, and the three of us disgusted everyone by digging into the food like starving animals.

We were wined and dined in real style with American food and snacks, something we hadn’t seen since we left the States more than two months ago. We even had Doritos and Bill and Mike split a box of Mac & Cheese. My folks even went through the trouble of locating Captain Morgan and Jack Daniels in the middle of Ramadan in Uzbekistan to have it ready for our arrival. My sister made a chocolate cake that mysteriously disappeared when she left it alone in the kitchen.

Later in the week, my dad hired a local man to make plov, a national dish of rice, carrots, lamb and spices, and kebabs of lamb and chicken in local spices. They arrived, set up a wood fire and cooked everything in the yard over the course of a few short hours. We sat outside on the traditional Uzbek tables (it looks like a wooden bed with a small coffee table in the middle, you sit crossed legged under it to eat) and watched the sun go down as we ate. Later, we had a dart tournament (Dad won, naturally) and tried out the in-house cinema. I jumped in the indoor pool daily. It had been so hot and so muggy the last several days that any chance to feel cool and clean was a welcomed treat.

It was extremely difficult to leave after only a week seeing my family. We had an amazing time going to bazaars in Tashkent, out to dinner and drinks, and just spending time playing games and talking. Our final night arrived and my parents took us to the best steak joint this side of New York. City Grill, in Tashkent, is a place I’ve raved about before, but this time was even better. My filet mignon was perfectly cooked, and the side dishes we so good that it was a shame to actually eat them. We had a great time, and the taste of that steak kept us happy for several days afterward, just thinking about it.

They drove with us to the Kazakh border and watched as we crossed into no-man’s land between Uzbekistan and Kazakhstan. It was hard to say goodbye, as it always is, but we had an unbelievable week of stress-free relaxation and great food and drink that literally was an oasis in the middle of our Mongol Rally journey.

As with all good things, it was time for our little convoy of three cars to end. The Abandon the Cube team had visas and plans to head into Uzbekistan, while the FaceRace and Schumacher teams would head straight across Kazakhstan. As we neared the border with Kazakhstan, we decided to make the most of our remaining time together. After crossing the Russian-Kazakh border (we’ve become pros at border crossings, recently) we camped inside Kazakhstan just outside of Aterau. The road conditions were decent, but were the worst we had seen thus far on the rally. Pot holes would appear out of nowhere that were the size of small cows. More dangerously though were the ripples made by trucks on the roads so that the pavement was not flat, but consisted of two ridges in each lane. Small cars like ours had to drive on top of the ridges or else risk ripping apart the undercarriage. Because of this, the going was a bit slow. Add to this the fact that camels abounded in the area and, at night, camels venture onto the black pavement roads to soak up the heat of the dark cement.

We pulled off the road. It was entirely a flat region so there was no cover for our tents and cars. We decided to camp anyway, and after a bit of roof riding by Lauren, and a bit of football playing by the Brits, we pulled our cars into a flat area and began to set up our tents. We wanted our last evening together to be fun, so talk of a campfire raged through the camp. But, as we were setting up we noticed ants all over the area. We traced them back to hives all around the flats. There was nowhere to go to escape them. While we were investigating the strange ants, the mosquitoes emerged. I don’t expect there are many people on the planet who like mosquitoes, but this was ridiculous. If you pointed your flashlight above someone’s head you could literally see a grey, moving cloud of humming mosquitoes, diving in for the kill. Only Bill and Mike were able to stay outside their tents long enough to cook some quick noodles. Everyone else huddled in their tents, scratching their bites and watching for ants. It was like a bad Indiana Jones movie, with strange insects closing in on us from all sides.

Despite the annoyance of the bugs and the extreme, lung-halting heat, we managed to get a few hours of sleep. In the morning, we pushed on to Aterau and arrived fairly early. We found a bank and quickly changed money, then decided to have a group lunch together before we split up. Parked outside a shopping center, another rally team pulled up consisting of two middle-aged men who worked as deep-sea exploratory oil divers. We all went to the town’s Irish pub. Apparently there were hundreds of Americans and Aussies in Aterau working in the oil and gas business. Who would have guessed? We had a beer and pizza and, back in the parking lot, took a final convoy picture and said our goodbyes.

Bill, Mike and I nestled into our tiny Saxo and pointed it due south to Uzbekistan. The rest of our tiny convoy pulled out their maps and began plotting a route East and then North towards Russia. It was a sad goodbye, and it was lonely to be a solo rally car.

Imagine you have just jumped out of a hot shower on an extremely hot day, and then you plug in the hair dryer on high heat and point it right at your face. This is the closest parallel I can think of to explain the unending and abusive heat we felt on the road to Volgograd from inside the Russian border. Perhaps, once your hair is dry, turn the oven on max and pull a chair up and open the door. Waves of heat so powerful they make your eyes water (well, until you run out of eye moisture that is) spilled into our tiny cars. Naturally, we had no air conditioning and having the windows open only made the heat pour in more quickly. We closed the windows and sat in our mini car sauna as we sped along roads that were literally melting from the heat.

Eventually, and it did feel at some points like we might not make it through the waves of heat, we arrived in Volgograd. Having spent several previous evenings in other towns running around lost in the city looking for a cheap hostel or hotel, we decided not to deal with the hassle this time. Mike, Bill and I left the hostel finding up to our trusty convoy mates, and we three purchased ice cold beers and sat outside on a park bench, playing the ukulele (no one threw money in my Mongol Rally fund for the free music, I’ll add) and hanging out. Over the next several hours we consumed a few more ice beers and with every passing hour more ralliers joined our park bench party. By late evening, we had roughly fifteen ralliers from several convoys. It was a relaxing and pleasant evening, but we still had no place to stay. Mike jogged off in search of a hostel and came back with news of a hotel for $45 a room. Not cheap, by any means, but we took it, showered and cleaned up from so many days on the road and all met at the bench an hour later for dinner.

If you happen to look at a map you’ll notice we went out of our way to get to Volgograd. Once there, however, we found it a bit of an irritating place to travel. The roads are congested and of poor quality. The people are not especially helpful, but are a bit appreciative of our attempts at speaking in Russian. We discovered we needed to register within three days of entering Russia at a hotel. This, we found out, was not easy to do if you decided not to stay at a hotel. Bill slept on the floor in another team’s hotel room, so in the morning we had a bit of a run around trying to get a hotel to ‘register’ him without him paying. Eventually our hotel did it because they confused Bill with me as the second person in the room. Jackpot.

That morning we all went to the fancy hotel where the other rally teams were staying and ate at their continental breakfast. They didn’t catch on that we hadn’t paid to stay there. We used the internet to send our families messages of arriving in Russia, and then jointly decided that since we were in Volgograd, a trip to the Stalingrad monument was in order.

This morning we got word via email from The Adventurists (the organizing body for the Mongol Rally) that one of our fellow ralliers had died in a car crash the previous day, the 7th of August. There were three people in the car when they crashed, two are in critical condition and, devastatingly the third died from injuries received in the accident.

The Adventurists have decided not to reveal the identity of those in the car until their family members decide they want that information made public. In the meantime, the sobering information has hit our convoy of cars quite severely. It was shocking information and it made us realize the seriousness of the undertaking that we had, so far, treated very light heartedly. With messages flowing in from our parents and friends, we’ve adopted a more defensive driving style, we’re going slower and driving only until dusk.

We don’t know who the rallier was, but we’re sure he was a friend and he’ll be missed. His like-minded sense of adventure and willingness to travel to new places makes him someone we count as our own, and the loss of any such daring a person is a tragedy.

Our condolences to the family, and to all of his friends. Tonight we make a toast in his honor around the camp fire. From our team, the Face Race team, and the Mongol Schumachers.

(as an update and means of explanation about the delay in posting this blog: we write our blogs when events happen but we schedule them to post at a two week lag so we have time to edit and add pictures, and to ensure we never have large gaps in blog posts, etc. We wrote this post the morning we heard, which was the 8th of August. We have since learned the identity of the rallier who perished, and his team mates. His family has not made that information public, so we won’t either. Needless to say, the loss it still devastating some two weeks after the accident. Our thoughts are with their families.)

We anticipated a bit of hassle crossing the Ukrainian border into Russia, but we in no way were prepared for the events that transpired when we finally reached the Ukrainian departure point and the Russian entry border. It was 6:30pm when we pulled into a line of cars to exit Ukraine, the line stretched from the gates ahead of us which were barely visible, to well behind us only minutes after our arrival. We got out of the car, as did members of the Mongol Schumachers and the Face Race team. When we needed to move forward in line we all pushed our cars in neutral—making quite a scene for the bored Ukrainians milling about drinking beer and waiting their turn in line.

Finally reaching the front, we were given the royal treatment. Out three cars were pulled over to a special spot while we filled out our customs forms. Bugs were out in full force and it was still over 90 degrees. We were all drenched in sweat, and, having not found a shower for the past three days we were not exactly an eye-pleasing sight. It was no wonder, then, that the border guards gave us wary looks as we scribbled our information down and collapsed on the hood of the car. We got our passports stamped and, headed to the next window. Three guards asked me for a present. I said I didn’t understand and flashed my best ‘don’t I look like Drew Berrymore’ smile. They smiled back and said, “You know, Thomas Jefferson is my friend. All the presidents are my friend.” I smiled and said they were my friends too. What a creative way to ask for money, really. I wasn’t unimpressed. The guard held up a small Ukrainian coin and said “Thomas Mark, you have?” Bill and Mike, having come up behind me, interpreted this to mean he was a coin collector. Someone rushed to the car and found a nikle that had been rolling around the back seat for the past two weeks. The guard took it, laughing, and then asked for a coin from the British team behind us. Perhaps he really was a coin collector. So, after about 2 hours, we were officially out of Ukraine! Does a nickel count as a bribe? I’m going to say no on that.

We drove off, it was dark now so we rounded a corner and were confronted with an unwelcoming sight. The line for the Russian border was as long as the Ukrainian one had been. We got out of our cars and snacked on food found in the truck or between seat cushions. We played games, told stories and all the while we pushed our car down the line. Finally at the front, we got stamped into Russia and we piled back into our car, shocked at how easy the crossing was. We had heard it would be the hardest border yet, and one that no one could make it through without paying a bribe. As we sped the car up we exchanged smiles and then, when a customs official jumped in front of the car with a waving flashlight, we watched each other’s smiles turn into straight lines.

We were instructed to pull the car into a dark parking lot with no cameras or lighting. A dog was in a nearby cage barking at the stray cats that strolled by tauntingly. Bill, who has the car in his name, was sent to talk with the guards alone. We waited….and waited….. we played with the cats and dogs, we counted stars, we exchanged life stories with members from the other two rally cars, and we even got to the point of collapsing on the hood of our cars again, preparing to nap. Finally, Bill returned having paid no bribe but having purchased our auto insurance for Russia. Two guards accompanied him to the car with flashlights. “Here it comes.” I thought. I knew we have booze in the trunk (what respectable rallier doesn’t?) as well as a few strange items like a hatchet and pocket knives which I was concerned might raise questions. But, the guards were our age and very jovial. They asked if we had a present for them, and we said we didn’t. They asked for a small bottle of booze, so we offered them cigarettes, which they didn’t want. They saw a bottle of beer we had picked up in Romania for free, and the younger of the two officers stuck it in his pocket and said, “this is gift for me.” Since it was a skunky beer that had been in a heated trunk for 4 days we were happy to have it disposed of, and smiled as we shook hands and said our farewells. Does a beer count as a bribe?

We rolled into Odessa quite late in the evening, having been held up at the border a bit longer than anticipated. Odessa came highly recommended by our Ukrainian friends in Minnesota, as well as by a friend whose father lives in the Crimea. Apparently during the cold war, Odessa was infamous for its webs of spies from both sides fighting for information and control. I was intrigued and when doing the initial route planning from the States we simply could not imagine going any other way but through Odessa.

We spent the first hour and a half driving around looking for a place to spend the night. We checked several hostels found on hostel world only to discover they were abandoned apartment complexes or simply a field or parking lot. Eventually we found a cheap hotel, but the advertised prices were off by a dozen Euro so we simply didn’t want to pay it. We asked at the hotel if we could park our cars in their protected parking area for a Euro, they said “sure!” so we positioned are cars near several other rally cars in the parking lot and decided to sleep in the cars to save money. But first, it was time to meet the other ralliers and find out what the latest gossip was.

We found a nearby pub and, not surprisingly, about twenty ralliers. They had been in a caravan of eight cars, which meant extremely slow progress. Nevertheless, they had beat us there, which doesn’t say a lot for our speed. We introduced ourselves and soon were engulfed in great conversations with amazing people from all over the world.

As the night wore on people began to drift off to find a place to sleep. We all moved our cars towards the water a bit and several teams through up their tents right by the side of the road. Mike and I slept in the Face Race car while Bill reclined in our ATC car. The Face Race crew have an instant pop-up tent so they threw that up near the road. Surprisingly, the police did not kick us out.

In the morning we all felt a bit gross having spent the night drinking and then sleeping in hot, disgusting-smelling cars. Mike, Bill and I walked down to the Black Sea to take a quick dip. I decided not to get in, but once we had walked all the way down the hill to the water I changed my mind and jumped in fully clothed. It was the closest thing to a shower in several days, and it was wonderful. We swam out a ways and just enjoyed the feeling of being cool for a change rather than dripping sweat. When we had been in long enough, we walked back to the cars and brushed our teeth and got cleaned up (as well as one can on the side of the road).

Everyone was milling about, so we made plans to head to the Steps of Odessa, a famous and beautiful area a bit north of our current position. We set off, the Face Race team in tow, and a new car joined our mini convoy, the Mongol Schumachers. We hit the steps within the hour, and found all manner of strange sights before us.

One man had a pet alligator and parrot, another had an owl and a monkey. For a few bucks you could play with the exotic creatures and have your picture taken. We opted against it for sanitation reasons, and bounded up the steps to do the happy dance from Rocky. Classic.

Back at the cars, I met an amazing gentlemen who is friends with Charlie Boreman (who rides with Ewan McGregor and co-wrote Long Way Round, and several other books). This guy was extremely interesting, and was going on yet another round-the-world bike trip. You never know who you’ll meet in strange places, but you can guarantee they will be much more interesting than the folks you meet back home.

We chatted with the bikers for a while before hitting the road. The goal was to make it to the Russian border, but as the goal was entirely unrealistic we thought we’d see how far we could get.

Crossing any protected border is a bit of a pain. Over the past few years we’ve had our fair share of problems at various border crossings. In China, we were told we had swine flu at one border and nearly quarantined. In Turkey we were stuck in no-man’s land trying to buy a visa. In Turkmenistan we were held for over a day trying to catch the border-ferry out. In Azerbaijan we were lectured about the evils of their neighbors and forced to promise never to visit Armenia. So, when we came to the Ukrainian border we were not that worried. No matter what problems arise, you always find a way through them.

We had already waited several hours to go through the exit procedures for Moldova. We drove through no-man’s land and waited in a huge line to enter Ukraine. The line inched forward slowly, and rather than waste gas we simply put the cars in neutral and pushed them. This drew the strangest compilation of stares from other motorists and, of course, the Ukrainian border guards. We’ve since learned that these gentlemen don’t have a sense of humor.

Round one is the maze. Basically, you run from window to window trying to figure out what they want and how to deliver it. One window wants your passport, one wants the car registration, one insurance, one just wants to look at you and whisper to their fellow guards, and one window has no purpose at all. While we were jostling for space at the windows another rally team walked up and introduced themselves. They drove an ambulance and had been held at the border for the past four hours since their V5 form was missing. In case you don’t know, it is required that you mail in your V5 form in the UK before exiting the country, so of course no one has the form! This was impossible to explain. The other team was waiting for someone from the embassy to call back and explain this to the guards.

We stayed in line and eventually a guard came around the window and took Bill into a back room. We assumed this had something to do with either asking for a bribe or demanding we find our V5 form. After twenty minutes Bill emerged and said the guard just wanted to chat, practice his English. We finally got our passports stamped and our registration returned to us. Since I had not driven in quite a while I hoped in the driver’s seat and edged us out of the border area and into the straight away.

The feeling of finally being out of the border area was so overwhelming that I wasn’t entirely surprised when I came flying over a hill and saw the police. A huge smile washed over the officer’s face when he aimed the radar gun. It was already too late. I slammed on the breaks but the gun was already coming down to his side and his other arm was waving me over. Bill and Mike had done most of the driving, I drive for five minutes and I’m pulled over in Ukraine.

The cop came up to the window (confused at first as to why the steering wheel was on the wrong side) and showed me the radar gun. 76 in a 60. Not bad! I smiled and said I was sorry, but he walked back to his cruiser, waving me with him. I followed him up the hill (it had taken me a while to stop due to the speed/incline) and he started writing me a ticket. I told him I had no money and didn’t know that I was speeding. I explained that I thought the speed limit was 80, so in all actuality I was actually under the limit. He laughed and kept writing the ticket. I started to look desperate and told the other officer to help me explain the situation to the man writing the ticket. He never took the radar gun off the hill and every time someone swept by under the limit he would shrug and smile and look dejected. The ticket-man was explaining to Mike, who had joined us on the hill, that I owed 250 rubles. I said I had no rubles and started to shift my weight from foot to foot, looking lost. I was about to play the ‘cry on command’ card when the ticket man finally looked up and said ‘go.” I repeated this back to him and then smiled. I wanted to hug them both but thought better of it at the last moment and shook their hands instead. Mike ran down the hill and I followed. Despite the small fiasco I decided to keep driving. This time, under the limit a few notches.

Rumors are not always proven true, and that was the case for us in Moldova. We had heard it was the most corrupt and difficult place to travel in, and many other rally teams were stopped and forced to pay bribes at the Moldovan border. Nevertheless, we wanted to see the countryside and the vineyards that are so famous in Moldova, and decided to risk the hassle to see the sights.

Moldova was the first real border crossing for us on the rally thus far. Most EU countries don’t even stop, let alone slow down the cars when they cross the borders. Romania pulled us aside for a few moments to stamp our passports and look in the back windows, but only in Moldova had we encountered any real hassle or search. Pulling into the border area we immediately began hiding our expensive gear and money in case they decided to search the car thoroughly. Our team decided that Lauren should carry the money and do the talking, as people are less likely to try to extort from a woman. This theory proved correct. Lauren walked into the office with a smile and handed over the passports and car registration. The guards demanded something and stuck their palms out. She smiled and eventually they moved their chair over and asked her to sit down. They even turned on the air conditioning and asked if she wanted anything to drink. She typed their information into the computer system (which was entirely in English) and registered us herself, the border guards having so much trouble reading our documents in English that it ended up saving precious hours.

Next, a guard approached the car, but with Bill and Mike still seated inside it gave the impression there was no room for anything else in the car, which is in fact mostly true. Eventually they tired of our tireless smiles and waved us through the border. We waited out of the line of sight for the Face Race team to catch up with us. They had to purchase road insurance at the border, while our European insurance covered us.

Moldova, in the southern separatist region we visited, was entirely countryside. We drove through two small towns, stopping once to ask directions. Everyone was friendly and calm, and waved at our silly cars as we passed through their remote townships. The countryside itself was entirely filled with vineyards and rolling green hills. The roads were decent quality, and someone had planted trees along the main routes for shade.

Reaching the opposite southern border crossing into Ukraine, we were decidedly tired of dealing with customs officials. Despite our tired looks and exhausted expressions the guards managed to do a once-over on the car and of course check our passports and car registration yet again. We had signed into the country on computer three hours earlier and now signed ourselves out of Moldova, problem and bribe free. Great success! Now let’s see how Ukraine goes….

Driving up to Dracula’s castle in a rally car takes away some of the Transylvania mystique that we so associate with the place. We did learn, sadly, that Bran Castle is not actually Dracula’s, as Dracula is a fictional character. He is based off of an actual regional tyrant named Vlad the Impailer, so called because he liked to punish people by impaling them on a sharp stake so that it took them days to die, very publicly and painfully. We learned, also to our dismay, that Vlad only used Bran Castle once on a short vacation, so the actual reason Bran Castle is so famous eludes us. Nevertheless, we ventured forward.

Pulling into Bran, we discovered no screaming people run through with sharp sticks, instead we found a tourist trap of epic proportions. There was every manner of vampire merchandise (save for the horrid Twilight Saga stuff). T-shirts with blood dripping off of them, wigs, fangs, crosses, and strangely, lots of lace. We perused the small tourist shops watching groups of Japanese tourists in matching tour hats scoop up Dracula souvenirs.

Eventually we tired of the balking tourists and screaming merchants so we snapped a few pictures of the outside of Bran Castle and jumped back in our trusty Citroen Saxo. Another castle was perched on a hillside a few miles back down the road, so we decided to visit the less busy, less touristy castle and actually climb up inside it.

We had split off from our convoy earlier that day, with the Face Race team heading to Bucharest, Romania to drop off a team mate. We had a few hours to kill before we caught up with them that evening near the border with Moldova, so we decided that we had plenty of time to see another castle. One hardly ever tires of castles, I’ve found.

Finding parking was easy, so we walked up the hill to Rasnov Castle, which was apparently past business hours at six in the afternoon. We walked through the main gates and up into the chambers of the castle. Much of Rasnov is in ruins, but a panoramic view from the top of what must have been a look-out tower or platform gave us one of the best views in Romania. We walked around admiring the old structures (many of which were under construction) and finally walked back down to the car. We had a lot of miles to cover that night before re-uniting with our convoy and heading into Moldova.

If you haven’t seen the British TV show “Top Gear” then you probably aren’t alone. I haven’t seen it either. But, apparently everyone on the rally is in love with the show, which features a few men who take on auto-related challenges around the globe in seemingly anything with an engine and a few wheels.

All the Brits were raving about a special road featured in Top Gear and was made famous from car commercials and other car-related things. This road was called The Transfagaran Pass, so we stuck the nose of our car in that direction. It was not far from the camp ground but we still managed to get lost, a daily occurrence for our tiny convoy. Eventually we found the right road and discovered it was a winding narrow road up the side of a mountain. Motorcycles were buzzing past us and faster cars passed us as if we were not on an incline at all. We stayed in first gear the whole time. Finally, we reached the part of the road that made it famous, a hillside with switchbacks going all the way to the summit, where a small lake awaits. We gunned it at an insane 20 mph, finally reaching the top without having anyone puke in the car. The view was breathtaking, and well worth the drive. We drove on through a tunnel, where our convoy began honking at one another, and all the locals joined in filling the tunnel with honking and cheering.

It began to rain, and since our tires are as smooth as a baby’s bottom we decided t head down rather than take the road the entire length towards Bucharest. Oly and Oli had to drop Rikki off at the airport, as he had to fly back to the UK for work. We said our goodbyes on top of the mountain and waved as they went back through the tunnel and we headed down the hill towards Bran.

Gypsies, it turns out, do not have a very good reputation in Romania. Having driven from Budapest, we were exhausted by the time we reached the border. The scenery was beautiful, with mountains speckled throughout the landscape that our tiny car wound up and down and small speeds. Oradea was the first town across the border and we arrived on schedule around noon. Finding parking was easy, but the safety of our cars was definitely in question. The aforementioned gypsies flocked around the park nearby and asked for money from our small group at tedium. We took everything off the roof rack and put it into the car before setting off to view Oradea’s sights.

Two main plazas sit in central Oradea, one on either side of the river that bisects the town. We walked in the mid-day heat to the first and snapped a few pictures but because of the extreme temperatures no one was really in the mood to stare at more architecture. Several people were holding their stomachs in hunger while everyone else dashed into every passing quick-mart to buy a drink.  Hydration was key. We crept slowly across the river and halted for ice cream at a street-side vendor before exploring the opposing square and city center. For a small town on the border, Oradea is surprisingly beautiful and with a wealth of cafes, restaurants and bars. A long pedestrian street lay ahead, so we walked down it, enjoying the city and the rich atmosphere.

We had heard somewhere that there was a vegetarian restaurant in town that made celery schnitzel. When you hear a menu item like that you simply have to go check it out in person. Apparently it is the only vegetarian place in Romania, which made the allure all the greater. We spent quite a bit of time looking for it and finally discovered it was near our parked cars (which were still there, thankfully!). We sat inside, enjoying the air conditioning for several minutes while examining the menu. A curious thing happens in Eastern Europe, Central Asia and Asia. When a menu item runs out, they simply put an X in -front of  it. This menu was entirely composed of Xs, with only a few remaining items. We waited….and waited….and waited. Eventually we lost interest in waiting and decided to leave, having regained some humanity thanks to the air conditioners. We strolled across the street and had gyros for a fraction of the price.

Climbing back into the hot cars went against every natural survival instinct, but that’s exactly what we did. We hit the road going fast, anything to cool down the cars. In the back seat, Mike was dripping sweat as he looked out the window. Bill was wiping his face with a cloth and I was blinking rapidly to stop the burning heat from drying my eyes. We didn’t have far to go to reach our next destination, so we all set our jaws and forged ahead.

Budapest has received a lot of fan fare in recent years for its bohemian settings and casual expat culture. We got to experience a bit of this for the few brief days we were in Budapest. First, the city is divided in half and together Buda and Pest comprise the metropolis of Budapest, the river dividing them neatly in half. Beautiful bridges connect the two townships, making them one.

The older part of town and, incidentally, the side most tourists visit is Buda. In Buda you’ll find the old town citadel and the famous labyrinths that run beneath it. A sign informed us that the catacomb labyrinths beneath us were one of the seven underground wonders of the world. God knows what the other six are. We toured around the cathedral and admired the view from atop the hill in Buda, looking over the river and the steady development in Pest. Strolling around, Buda could be any beautiful city in Europe, with fashionably clad women and business-minded men briskly going about their day.

Budapest boasts one of the oldest metro systems in Europe. We decided to take the subway to check it out. Leather straps dangled from metal plates inside the cabins on the subway, while real glass windows let passengers look out into the beautifully crafted subway platforms of tile and mosaic. It was extremely impressive, and efficient. The subway connects travelers with bus and above ground train stations so that mobility in the city is easy.

Pest, where the city’s modernity begins to shine through, is where we stayed. Naturally, prices are cheaper in the peak season in Pest, and our campground was only a few Euro a night and nestled neatly into the middle of a public park. We jumped on the tram heading north to take a tour of the Budapest Torture Museum. Obviously not my idea, but I was along for the ride. I’m glad we ended up going, as I learned a great deal and someone has invested a large amount in the facility, making it one of the most in-depth museums I’ve ever visited. It happened to be free for people under 26 the day we arrived, so I got in for free while Mike, having forgotten his ID, decided to wait outside. Bill paid for his ticket (old man!) and we made our way up a flight of stairs to view a real Soviet tank in a small room that was comprised entirely of pictures of deceased Hungarians. The tour would only become more sobering as we went on. In all, we saw the cells where prisoners lived, the gallows where they died, the torture chambers, and several videos made from victims who calmly explained what went on in the building. Finally, we emerged from the building into the sunlight with a lot of information about the Soviet invasion of Hungary, and what that meant for the people of Budapest. I’d highly recommend the museum, but plan to be shocked. There is no “politically correct” concept when it comes to displaying text and images.

Back at the campground we managed to do a bit of laundry, stringing a line from the car to a nearby fence. We cleaned out the car (which was much in need of attention) and Bill did a once-over on the car checking the wheels, engine and poking his head around under the belly of the beast. All was in order, so we set off the following morning for Romania.

Needless to say, the entire convoy of people were now desperate for a shower and a few days to rest. We saw signs for Budapest and drove into the center of town. No hostels came up on Hostel World that were affordable and had safe parking, so just as we were debating jumping in the river with a bar of soap we got a text message from the Back flips and Summersaults team that had left the convoy in Czech. They had found a campground. We headed towards the park in the middle of town where the campground was. Taking a wrong turn into a parking lot, we made a three-point turn to get back on the main road. In front of us, the Face Race team was doing likewise. For some reason I saw the front left of the hood dip down and then Oly and Oli jumped out of the car and stuck their faces under the body of the car.

I unbuckled my seatbelt and had a drink of water. I strolled over to see what was up. I could not have imagined how terrible the accident was. Making a three-point turn isn’t something I consider a hazard to a car, but apparently to theirs’ it was. As I rounded the corner I could see that the entire front left wheel had snapped off at the arm. Corroded medal was flaking off from the weight of the car. “Jack it up so it doesn’t snap the other side.” I yelled, and ran to the trunk and helped them unload their gear. Oli jacked up the car as Rikki and the other Oly got in a huddle and decided on their next move. I suggested that we take all of their gear and head to the campground so that their car was empty when the tow truck arrived. We loaded down our car and after some careful maneuvering with Bill at the wheel and Mike and I navigating, we got our car past the broken down one without damaging anything in the parking lot. It was as we were ready to pull out that the next problem occurred.

A man and his wife and presumably one of their mothers exited the apartment building and got in their car…. Which was trapped behind the Face Race car. Because we could not move the car, and because these strangers drove an SUV, there was nothing we could do to help them. They called a tow truck and as Mike and I set off for the camp ground on foot, Bill drove the full car to the campground while Oli and Oly waited with the car.

We checked into the camp ground and met two other rally teams. I set up our tent and we set up the Face Race tent as well, filling it with their stuff from our car. Two hours later they returned in their car, having told us that the mechanic charged them 400 dollars to fix the wheel on the spot in the parking lot. At least they were back on the road and still in the rally. We all celebrated that fact with a toast and, since they were not in the mood to party after their 400$ repair, we retired early.

We arrived in Bratislava that evening after leaving Vienna. We heard it would be cheaper in Slovakia than Austria, but a quick consultation with Hostel World proved otherwise. We did manage to discover that there was a large camp ground near the city. We asked for directions and followed them….almost. Somehow we overshot the campground by over 30km! We turned around and headed back towards Bratislava. Before we could get far at all, however, angry clouds to the south started to swirl and bark. Having grown up in the Midwest, Mike recognized all the signs of a tornado about to touch down. Cool and warm wind whipped the side of the car and our pirate flag was whipping so wildly we thought it would rip right off and fly up into the black clouds. Slowly, a funnel formed from the largest cloud and it arched its way down to earth.  Our cars were racing along the highway back towards town but the sky was growing dark so fast and so suddenly that many of the locals were pulling off the road to wait it out. Recognizing that waiting in the path of a tornado was a bad idea, we forged on at full speed.

I pulled out the video camera and started filming just as the rain started to fall hard against the car. There is no sound on earth quite like heavy rain on metal, it comes down like bullets and lands with a thud for each drop. I yelled into the camera but the rain and wind was too much to be heard. I turned the camera around to the car behind us and although I knew it was right behind us, it was not visible.

Everyone was pulling over. Our radio walki-talkie buzzed and the Face Race team said they were pulling over. We kept on ahead for several more minutes, eying the clouds. The funnel had touched earth and played around in the field as if just interested in picking sunflowers and swallowing them whole. Not being a meteorologist, I’m not sure why the tornado retracted back into the cloud when it did, but we watched it retract its fingers full of flowers and disappear. The rain continued for several more minutes and then abruptly stopped. Once it was clear again we easily saw the sign for the campground (we had zoomed right past it!)

We bought one bungalow for all 6 of us and then we all headed towards the showers. There are few things more wonderful than a shower after a long stint of camping. My joy was cut short as the water was ice cold and lasted less than one minute. With shampoo in my hair, I pushed the button and nothing happened. I kept pushing it and eventually a small stream of water trickled out. I rinsed off as best I could then went back to announce the lack of water to the group. Groans went up from the masses of angry, dirty ralliers so we grabbed a few coins and headed to the bar. At one Euro a beer, these were the cheapest prices we’d seen yet. We grabbed a few drinks and a meal on the camping compound and it turned out to be a very nice evening.

In the morning, we packed up and headed east towards Budapest. But on the way out of town we saw something that caused our two car convoy to screech to a halt. A giant wooden chair sat on the side of the road, no signage or explanation. We, of course, tried to climb on it and failed. In case you were ever wondering, we think Bratislava holds the record for world’s largest chair.