Tag Oregon

Of course the moment we hit I-5 and headed North we were struck by the most amazing rain storm. This only gives credit to the rumor that it rains all the time in Washington. I’ve tried to convince Mike that people over hype the rain, but every time the poor lad has been in Washington he’s been drenched to the bone. Bad timing or global warming?—Or could it just be that Washington is a rainforest of beauty that needs a bit of rain to keep it so wonderfully green. Mike prefers to think of it as vampire territory where everyone has blue-tinted skin and edgy dispositions (as well as an addiction to meth, cults and an affinity for collecting broken cars for lawn ornamentation.)

Washington, the Evergreen State, is just that—it’s green forever. No matter which way you look it’s hard to see a color other than green. Of course, if you cross the mountains and head East you’ll find a desert out near Spokane. But who would go out there when the rainforests, mountains and shores are to the West?

We spent several weeks exploring the many ways to stay dry in a rainforest. What we came up with was this—don’t go outside. If you do, you’ll get drenched. Even on a sunny day Washington is wet. They call it “liquid sunshine,” but of course it isn’t sunny, Washingtonians just don’t know any better, bless their souls.

We also spent a few great weekends in Oregon, which is just like Washington, but with more dedicated hippies. Eugene, where Nike has it’s headquarters, is full of vegan restaurants, dreadlocks and birthing centers covered in dream catchers. It’s a lovely place for anyone who votes blue (or refrains from voting because it’s too much a part of the establishment).

We took a drive up to Seattle one weekend and ended up visiting the Matador restaurant as well as the Kickin’ Boot. Both are awesome, by the way. And Seattle remains one of my favorite cities in the world. If it weren’t so expensive it’d be a great place to strike a claim. But alas, the land is so green, so beautiful that it’s much coveted and in that regard, unaffordable.

Between Grand Junction, CO and the beautiful Columbia River Highway in OR there is basically nothing but a litter box. That’s harsh. There is nothing but a litter box with a strip mall in it.

Believe it or not, our USA Lonely Planet boasts of Utah as being a well kept secret full of adventure, outdoor activities and wonton awesomeness. We’re wondering what Cool-Aid these writers were drinking. The long stretch of dull we drove through was like driving across a giant block or dirty butter. The guide book did mention some amazing rock structures to the south, but if you have to drive across more of the same dirty butter to get there, we weren’t interested. Perhaps that’s why it is such a well kept secret. Everyone turns around and gives up before getting to this mysterious awesome part.

Salt Lake City was a place I was interested in seeing. Having watched the Big Love series about the LDS church, polygamy and Bill Paxton, I felt I had invested a sizable chunk of time in seeing parts of a city I otherwise had no interest in. The Temples sounded unique and worthy of exploration. Sadly, our time in SLC was limited to a quick drive through town. We saw the temple, the streets paved with … pavement, and not a lot more. It was largely uninspired. More depressingly, the outskirts (which sprawled for hours!) were run down and beat up. I was reminded of the folks in the show who were outcast from the community. Thus, we pointed our hood away from the state and its mysterious, hard-to-locate awesomeness and headed North by Northwest.

Idaho can be quite beautiful in parts, and I spent a lot of time there as a youth with my lovely grandparents. But they lived in the hills and valleys—absolutely stunning. We drove through what seemed like one continuous potato field covered in a depressing layer of recession.

Our intention of driving from Colorado to Washington without stopping was foiled by exhaustion. We stopped in Idaho at a hotel that would have given us all hepatitis had we not slept on our own blankets. In the morning, we discovered a junk yard was the backyard of the lovely hotel. The front yard was the highway. What a charming spot for a center of hospitality. Onwards we went. And from here on out the geography began to get ever more beautiful.

Every time I drive through a chunk of land that looks like the bottom of a dirty work shoe I’m rubbed by a sense of curiosity I can’t shake. I wonder if the folks who settled there were part of the original pilgrims who headed west in search of land, gold or just adventure. I wonder if they know that they gave up in the desert when the oasis was just a mountain range away. IF their ancestors had kept trudging, they’d be in the grace of the forests, hills, rivers and lakes instead of a trailer on the edge of nothing. I thought about this a lot driving through Utah, Idaho and Oklahoma. If they had but continued on, they’d be on the coast! Instead they risked everything, left the comfort of the East Coast, and all to end up in a wasteland. Or, perhaps they find the wasteland beautiful and deplore the forests and the rivers. I’ll never know.

Into Cave Abyss

After a great two days in Eugene, we packed up the old trusty mini van once again and decided to hit the road and head south. With all four of us in the minivan, things were lively and the drive flew by quickly. We reached the creepy town of Cave Junction around 10pm and decided to see what these Oregon caves were all about. Mike ran into a terrifying-looking gas station to ask directions to the caves. They replied, “its near the greyback.” Mike nodded knowledgeably and ambled back to the van to report the directions. We sat in the van blinking at each other. “What’s a Greyback?”

After passing several casino games, we pulled into Cave Junction’s only hotel where a lady with 1980’s makeup and shoulder pads so large they hit her in the ears told us to head for the greyback to find a camping spot. She gave us a free local newspaper (aka, a tiny pamphlet of nothingness) and pointed up the road. “To the greyback!” We repeated her mantra back to her with a bit less gusto, “to the greyback?!” and made our way out the door.

Eventually, after a beer stop and a few more inquiries, we decided to just find out for ourselves what this mysterious greyback was. Twelve miles up a horribly-constructed road we found a campground and Mike ran past a “CLOSED” sign to inquire again. From deep in the woods a woman’s voiced yelled out, in true Goonies style, “We’re closed!” and then a dog began to bark very close by and Mike and his friend sprinted into the van. No help at the camp site. We drove back down the road and saw a lit phone booth. A mirage in the woods that seemed beyond creepy. I took a picture (yes, its on flickr, no it didn’t turn out very well because the car was bumping along a dirt road as I took it). It turned out the phone booth belonged to a man who ran a camp site. Score! He installed us in an RV lot for 16$ and we set about making a fire and cooking our dinner. Only after we finally figured out how to assemble the tent did we realize the rain cover was full of holes.

Mike and Lu in Oregon Caves

In the morning, the forest seemed only slightly less creepy. We packed up our camp site  after making some breakfast on what was left of the fire, and headed deeper into the woods to solve the mystery of the greyback. You just can’t stop for intrepid explorers eager for discovery.

The Oregon Caves system is a national monument. And we learned from our 90 minute tour of one of the caves that a monument is a presidential decree rather than an act of congress.  Hopefully that helps you down the road in bar trivia. Our national monument ranger wore the typical OD green suit and funny ranger hat, and talked to our group of adults like we were perhaps 6 or 7 years of age. She told us stories in a drawn out tone, and even called us kiddos. She led us deep into the heart of a cave, some 200m underground. It was a dark, creepy and yet beautiful experience. Unfortunately, in our attempt to preserve the cave someone cut it all up to put in cement floors, stainless steel stairs, railings, ramps, lighting, cables for lighting and emergency exits. Its really not much of a natural thing anymore, its more like a movie set on Batman. My hypothesis– if humans find it, its screwed.

Nevertheless, we enjoyed the tour through tiny, musty cave rooms that looked very strangely like our first apartment in China. We scaled up and down slippery steps, around hanging stalactites and over pointy stalagmites. We even had to duck once. Eventually we left the caves without interacting with any live nature, and we drove back through Cave Junction (still creepy in daylight) and onwards towards California. While we never did learn what a greyback was, some mysteries are better left unsolved.

We packed up the minivan and decided to head south to see two longtime friends and adventurous souls who live in Eugene, OR. The drive was pleasant down ol’ I-5, and we arrived made great time without incident until we got to the lovely and illogically grid-like, one-way nightmare of downtown Eugene. We thanked Map Quest for their incorrect instructions and, without cell phones, decided to head towards the only hill in the city for a better look. Turns out that was the hill they lived on. Problemo solved.

The following morning, after an informative and retro night on the town,we ventured to a local hot spot, Off the Waffle, for some breakfast. A nice treat there, and then a quick peek at a vintage book store where I found a rare book on exploring Central Asia for herbs, before we decided to hike to the top of Eugene’s hill for a better look. As Mike was backing up the trusty Toyota, there was a bit of a mishap that doesn’t bear retelling. Suffice to say Mike can never make fun of how I drive again. Ever! Score! This was the best accident of all time, in my book.

Area Around Eugene

Eugene is a very unique city. In our limited time there we saw that very few large corporations have penetrated into the city’s center. Anti-expansion laws have made property prices skyrocket, but there are no suburbs full of Wal-Marts or Home Depots either. Independent restaurants and cafes dot the city, and the uniqueness is almost overwhelming at first. Americans seem to like arriving in a new town and having it look almost identical to the town they left. McDonald’s, Walgreen’s, Target…. all of these places are lined up on consumer alley (or main street) in almost every American town of any size. Eugene is a breath of fresh air and shows what America could look like if it wanted to. It reminded me of why I disliked traveling in the USA– every time you arrive somewhere new you feel like you haven’t left home yet.

While traveling to Eugene made me aware of all of this, it was also pleasantly different, and we spent a few days soaking that in. The higher prices were well worth it to try so many new things. By the way, at an independent grocery store I found out there are literally thousands of different kinds of cereal. Turns out if you shop at a name-brand store they get to decide your menu for you. And here I thought all along there were only a few kinds! Silly me. Eugene’s independent grocery store had two isles of bulk cereals. You take as much as you want, mix and match, add accompaniments, and you’re off! Don’t get me started on how many kinds of juice there are. I did not think you could find lychee juice outside of China. Anyways, suffice to say we liked Eugene.

Here we go! Just the FACTS about why the West Coast is literally a billion times cooler than the East Coast:

1) Movies about the West Coast are usually uplifting, fun and feature scantly clad youths frolicking along the beaches. Movies about the East Coast usually highlight a primary character who has turned selfish and egotistical while striving for some sort of monetary or business related goal.

2) The East Coast has a rich history that includes the earliest days of America’s past. Meanwhile, the West Coast is still wild, untamed and rugged– so are the people who live north of California. People like D.B Cooper and Kurt Cobain.

3) The West Coast produces way better music. Now that’s just a fact.

4) The West Coast, if you get rid of California, is full of people who love the environment. There are ample forests, of the evergreen and rain varieties, as well as untamed beaches, rugged mountain peaks and even ferns that grow out of tree branches. The East Coast has Krispy Kreame.

5) The West Coast has Hollywood. The East Coast has Disney World.

6) The West Coast had the gold rush. The East Coast had a tea party.

7) The West Coast has vampires and werewolves, the East Coast has Pennsylvania Avenue.

8.) The West Coast has the King crab, and salmon. The East Coast has lobster– nature’s ugliest creature.

9) The West Coast has the leading ocean. Now for those non-geologists that’s a plate tectonic joke.

10) You never hear people talk about the dream of moving out East. Our nation’s manifest destiny was literally driven by people moving to the West Coast.

With the exception of Chicago, the entire non-coastal USA is literally just a highway to and from the coasts.